This is a football franchise. We are in the business of kicking other football franchise's asses. But business has been bad. And by bad, I mean spectacularly shitty.
Enter Jeff Ireland, the single most important hiring this team has seen -- and will see -- in a long, long time. Because no matter who Parcells gets as head coach, Ireland is going to be the straw that stirs the drink. I don't buy into the myth of the Uber-Head Coach like Vince Lombardi or Bill Belichick (I do, however, buy into the myth of unicorns). I don't believe in sideline geniuses. I believe in talent. Belichick looks like a genius because he has Tom Brady. Tony Dungy still has a job because he has Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison. Mike Shanahan was at one point lauded as a "genius." He lost John Elway and Terrel Davis to retirement -- poof! -- magically, he's no longer a "genius" (however, magically, his head is shrinking!) How many Super Bowls would Jimmy Johnson have won without Troy Aikman or Emmit Smith? You get my point. Bring in the players, and we'll win. Need more proof? Wade. Fucking. Phillips. Nuff said.
So Ireland is now the new general manager for your Miami Dolphins. We're all counting on the power of his nerdlyness to build us a winner. The good news: his track record is pretty awesome. Working under Parcells as either a scout or head of scouting in Dallas the last few years, Ireland helped draft players like S Roy Williams, C Andre Gurode, CB Terrence Newman, TE Jason Witten, WR Patrick Crayton, NTJay Ratliff, LB DeMarcus Ware, RB Julius Jones and RB Marion Barber, to name a few.
Pretty sick track record if you ask me. Pair that up with Parcells' own talent-evaluation mojo (Tony Romo, John Abraham, etc.) and you've got yourself a kick-ass combo of two football nerds with winners credentials up the ying-yang.
I'm a nerd with excellent winners credentials myself. For starters, I own all of the Lord of the Rings special features DVDs, I have every original issue of X-Men (in mint condition!), and my first ever boner was for the green lady from Star Trek. Call me ladies!
Agreed.
Get the players and magic will start happening.
Unless Norv Turner were to become available and somehow go 3,000 miles east. Or if Petrino somehow broke his new contract and came over. Very unlikely........
Other than that, get the players on the field, and the team WILL improve.
Posted by: Reality Check | Wednesday, January 02, 2008 at 07:45 PM
What the hell do you mean myth of unicorns? They're not real? FUCK!!!!! I am (needless to say) excited about the transition the team is taking. No one can doubt the quality of players these two guys have been bringing into the NFL. talent, Talent, TALENT!!!!!! Dude you are the MAN. I also have the LOTR extended version and special features DVD's in mint condition. Did that just knock me down a peg or two Lady Phin, fingirl? :0
Oh yeah!! And I got my first boner on Raquel Welch in 1,000,000 years b.c. I'm not that old, but damn she made this toddler spring into action.
Posted by: gersom | Wednesday, January 02, 2008 at 07:59 PM
LMAO Gersom and you're still at the top of the list with me...
Dude - (coyly smiling) can I touch your original issue?? I love a man that keeps things in mint condition...
heehee...LP :)
Posted by: Lady Phin | Wednesday, January 02, 2008 at 08:52 PM
The green chick was called an Orion! I LOVE the original Star Treks! Holy shit, did I just say those things out loud???
Ah well....GO FINS!
Posted by: Glenn from BC | Wednesday, January 02, 2008 at 09:11 PM
NERDS.
Posted by: rojowill | Wednesday, January 02, 2008 at 09:37 PM
Jeff Ireland's grandfather was Jim Parmer -- a legendary scout who helped build the Bears 1985 Super Bowl team. So far it looks like it's in the genes!
Go Phins!
Posted by: Robert | Wednesday, January 02, 2008 at 10:52 PM
Hear!! Hear!!
Truer words were never spoken ... talent will make the Dolphins good lookin'!! Even the green lady will want a fish bone!!
Our "lost decade" had adequate coaching ... but coaches tried to go Mensa on us & pick talent. Wayne backed all that misery every single time ... even said we weren't rebuilding!!
Posted by: JerryD | Wednesday, January 02, 2008 at 11:03 PM
Wow. From everything I've heard on him -- including here -- sounds like Ireland is a football scouting savant. Our very own Rain Man!
Ladies & gentlemen, I think we have our Scott Pioli!
Fuck yea!!!!
Posted by: marv albert's hair piece | Wednesday, January 02, 2008 at 11:13 PM
According to Dan Patrick.
Cam and all the other coaches are GONE!! Ding dong the crappy coaching staff is dead!!!
Here's to hoping we can land a PROVEN winner this time!!!
And belated happy new year nation!
Posted by: vman | Thursday, January 03, 2008 at 09:23 AM
Cam Cameron is done-ski. Thanks for the (bad) memories, Cam.
If you're reading this (since you like to keep up on the internets and all), we wish you the best, buddy. You just kinda sucked at being a head coach.
Posted by: Dat RoRo Kid | Thursday, January 03, 2008 at 09:54 AM
Shit, they got rid of Hudson Houck too. That's not so good. He really improved our O-line.
Posted by: Dat RoRo Kid | Thursday, January 03, 2008 at 09:59 AM
Lady Phin: Yes.
Posted by: The Dude | Thursday, January 03, 2008 at 11:09 AM