Entries from February 2008
Archives
By The Dude on February 29, 2008 12:00 PM
So that I don’t have to keep posting stuff all the livelong day (and weekend), I’m just going keep updating Dolphins free agent stuff here on this post as they happen. As you have done before, feel free to add your own news in the comments as you get it. You guys have been bringing it strong all off-season long. You guys are true fans. You guys are, quite possibly, the tits. ***Sunday, 11:53 AM: The Tuna is denying the Yahoo! Sports Jason Cole report that Jason Taylor's days with Miami are done. Parcells says JT will be a Dolphin in 2008 unless the DE chooses to retire. Parcells then verbal-rapes Jason Cole's report as only Parcells can: "This latest report is just another example of journalistic irresponsibility." Continue...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 29, 2008 9:51 AM
Cardinals free agent linebacker Calvin Pace is expected to visit the Fins today (along with Godsquad QB Josh McCown). FOXSports.com is saying that Parcells & Co. are preparing to offer Pace Joey Porter money."Miami is preparing to offer Pace the same kind of mega-deal that linebackers Adalius Thomas and Joey Porter received in free agency last off-season. New England and Miami signed Thomas and Porter respectively to five-year, $32 million contracts that included $20 million in guaranteed money."Pace was the 18th overall pick in 2003 by Arizona. Incidentally, Parcells took Terrence Newman with the 5th overall pick that year. Also incidentally, the Cowboys signed an undrafted QB from Eastern Illinois, Tony Romo. Calvin Pace struggled playing in the 4-3 system with the Cards. He was also featured as a...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 29, 2008 8:10 AM
The Dolphins kicked off the free agency period by signing a guy none of us had mentioned or talked about: former 49ers guard Justin Smiley. Smiley is 26 and will replace Rex Hadnot at right guard. Hmm. 26 and replaces Rex. I like him already! The contract is worth five-years, $25 million with a $9 million signing bonus. Smiley is coming off a torn labrum and was placed on injured reserve by the 49ers in November, but will be ready to roll come training camp. Justin Smiley is considered an athletic lineman with good upside. He's also a big dude: 6-3, 311 lbs. So, good start to the free agency period, I'd say....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 28, 2008 1:14 PM
Armando Salguero is reporting that the Dolphins are one of five teams currently pursuing a trade with the Lions for NT Shaun Rogers. The genius that is Matt Millen is likely asking for a 2nd round pick for Rogers. But I think a high 3rd is more appropriate. The Fins have two second rounders, and Salguero suggests that the 2nd second-round pick they got from the Whale's Vagina San Diego for Butters McGee Chambers would do the trick. Rogers is a dominant player when he wants to be. And, at 28, is still at an age where he can keep producing for many seasons to come. But the guy has built a reputation for being a loafer. He plays hard when he feels like it and he shuts down...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 27, 2008 1:11 PM
Free agency starts Friday and the Dolphins have 40 mill to blow. It's like the Dudette with my credit/debit card on the day after Thanksgiving. But about $40 million less than what I actually have. Here's the latest: Forget seeing Rex Hadnot or Chris Liwienski in a Fins uniform ever again. Why? Because Miami has no interest in bringing back guys with a dog's name and the name of a woman who blew the president, respectively. Oh and the fact that they were shitty is also a reason. This means that Flozell Adams and Alan Faneca are both on Parcells' radar. But the demand will be huge for both of those guys. This means Miami could be left with targeting Jason Fabini, Jamar Nesbit, Kwame Harris, Jacob...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 26, 2008 6:17 AM
For the record: I think Chris Long is an exceptional defensive end. And I will be very pleased if Miami ends up drafting him. Howevah! I do think that Vernon Gholston is a better prospect. He's a more gifted athlete, more explosive and a more versatile player. His skills, to me, seem as if they will translate a lot better at the NFL level than Long's. Long had himself a very impressive combine Monday. The Internet is all atwitter over his performance. Here's the video. I swear you can hear Mayock and Eisen coming in their pants as they watch him. Wow! Look at him! He's so fired up! What a motor! He can't stay still! But Gholston had himself an equally impressive day and even surpassed Long...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 25, 2008 1:08 PM
I've made no secret about how much I love Darren McFadden. If I were a GM, I'd make him the guy to get. But, alas, I am just a lowly blogger. Tear. Yesterday during the combine, McFadden justified my man-crush for him when he ran an unofficial 4.27 40-yard dash. The official time was 4.33. That's faster than Adrian Peterson's combine time. That's blaszing fast. That's stupid fast. That's ludicrous fast. During the combine wrap-up yesterday, Adam Schefter resuscitated the old Dallas trading with Miami rumors, as he is wont to do. As we all know, rubber-faced Jerry Jones is enamored with McFadden. Schefter says the Fins and Dallas have been in talks to swap 1st round picks. And Jerry, being the crazy old coot that he is,...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 25, 2008 6:56 AM
Hey there Nation! I spent the entire weekend watching all 12 hours of NFL Combine coverage on the NFL Network, non-stop, so I can bring you all the latest. I have a two-day old beard which contains remnants of Lucky Charms, Rold Gold pretzels and, for some reason, freshly laid pigeon eggs. I smell like ass and my eyeballs look like they've been dipped in a bucket of chlorine. The Dudette won't come anywhere near me. But it was all worth it! Because now I have the scoop on all the prospects and we can break down 40 times and bench press reps and figure out who raised their stock in the eyes of the Fins' front office and ... and .... and ... What's this?: "Combine won't decide Fins'...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 22, 2008 3:50 PM
Breaking News: The Dolphins have announced that owner Wayne Huizenga has sold half of the Dolphins to big money man Stephen Ross. Huizenga will remain the managing general partner, and the transaction will require full approval by the other owners. But Ross and Huizenga will be 50-50 partners. Said Wayne: “I have always said that I wanted to bring in a partner, and I can’t think of anyone more appropriate than Steve. He has unbridled enthusiasm and I couldn’t feel better about the future than I do with Steve as my partner and Bill Parcells running football operations.” Ross had this to say about it in a statement: "Having grown up in South Florida, Dolphins football has been a lifetime passion for me. I am energized by this opportunity...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 22, 2008 12:38 PM
The Franchise dead-line came and went and a lot of names came off the board, while a lot of names remain. Some of the key guys who were franchised yesterday: S Ken Hamlin, Dallas: My boy Hamlin is off the board. Fuck, fuck, fuckarooo!!! CB Nnamdi Asomugha, Oakland: Dude with the mad skills and the mad name was not only franchised, he was "exclusively" franchised, which means he's not free to sign with any team no matter the compensation. Damn they nailed his ass down. OT Max Starks, Pittsburgh: Starks was tagged as a 'Transition' player, which means we can offer a contract but the Steelers can match whatever offer we give. That's not likely to happen. The other big names that were franchised: LB Terrell Suggs, CB Marcus...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 21, 2008 2:05 PM
It's NFL Combine time! It's that time of year when old men with clipboards and stopwatches poke, prod, ogle and feel-up young men wearing nothing but their underwear. It's gonna be great! It's also the time of year we talk possible draft scenarios and who'll go where and when and what our team needs to do. The reality of it all is none of us knows shit when it comes to this stuff. But we try anyway. So let's get to it... Rumors and the Prospect The Dude is Enamored With Armando Salguero has a conference call with Mel Kiper posted on his blog. But that's not important. What is important is that he wrote about a rumor making the rounds in Indy that the Falcons are reportedly so...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 21, 2008 6:22 AM
It's NFL Combine time! It's that time of year when old men with clipboards and stopwatches poke, prod, ogle and feel-up young men wearing nothing but their underwear. It's gonna be great! It's also the time of year we talk possible draft scenarios and who'll go where and when and what our team needs to do. The reality of it all is none of us knows shit when it comes to this stuff. But we try anyway. So let's get to it... Are Fins Thinking Quarterback? It seems more and more likely that the Fins won't be using the first overall pick on a quarterback. They just don't think Matt Ryan or Brian Brohm are worth the number one pick. The fact that I placed 2nd in JD's fantasy...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 20, 2008 11:49 AM
Anyone else as indifferent about Keyshawn possibly coming to Miami as I am? I’d like to be optimistic and say, sure, we can use his veteran leadership and his experience will prove helpful to guys like Ted Ginn. Except that Keyshawn is a Grade A douchebag. Leadership? Keyshawn’s the first to jump ship when the iceberg hits. And, if you've been stupid enough to be a fan of this team, you know the icebergs come in droves. When the whole Parcells-to-Miami-rumors thing started midway last season, this was exactly the thing I feared about bringing Tuna down here. Aside for his affinity for Big Gulps, Funyuns, and honey glazed ham, the guy fucking loves old players. Particularly old players whom he once coached. This is why it took him...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 19, 2008 2:03 AM
Apparently, Jason Taylor is on some sort of quest to out-gayify Brady Quinn. Because he just officially announced he’s going to be on Dancing With the Stars. In a related story, I'm officially announcing that my soul has been crushed."Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor will be the first active NFL player to compete on the popular ABC program. Two NFL legends have competed in previous seasons: Emmitt Smith won after Jerry Rice finished third. The announcement was made Monday, during ABC's "Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann." Also competing: actress Marlee Matlin, magician Penn Jillette, figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi, tennis player Monica Seles, R&B singer Mario, comedian Adam Carolla and actor Steve Guttenberg." My immediate reaction to this news was, “Steve Guttenberg is still alive?” My second reaction...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 18, 2008 6:04 PM
Sorry for not posting today. I had the day off. It's President's Day. It's also Family Day in various regions of Canada. Also, Independence Day in The Gambia. Plus, not much going on with the Fins today. So I'll just leave you with an 8 second video of Miami's likely first overall pick Chris Long. Enjoy....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 15, 2008 12:01 AM
Wow. Never in the history of this franchise has there ever been such a conflicting damn-this-really-sucks-but-this-was-a-good-move moment like this one. It's hard to articulate. Zach Thomas is a Dolphins icon. The kind of player that defines the passions of an entire fan base with his fervor and balls-to-the-wall approach to the game. Hard nosed, full throttle, all heart. Zach Thomas was a freight-train every Sunday. A head-hunting gladiator seeking out the guy with the football so he could knock off his head and shit down his neck. This fan base fell in love with Zach as soon as he set foot on the field in 1996. He was a gritty kid from Texas, a 5th round pick no one ever heard of. The only thing we knew about him...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 14, 2008 12:54 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Jay Glazer of FOXSports.com is reporting that the Fins are going to release Zach Thomas today. Update: The Herald's Salguero is confirming the news. Update 2: Zach has released a statement. Update 3: The Miami Dolphins have made it official....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 14, 2008 12:29 PM
Continuing our free agent talk from yesterday, we now turn to the offense: Offensive Line The Dolphins released LJ Shelton and Anthony Alabi this week. Which means they're definitely in the market for some beef. Some have said this makes it a sure thing that Parcells will draft Jake Long. Let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet on that one. I don't see Tuna pinning his hopes and John Beck's life on a rookie O-lineman. The OL free agent class is fairly deep, so I expect the Fins to dive in. Here are the best in my book: 1. (OT) Flozell Adams, Cowboys: The best all around tackle in this FA class. And, he's a Cowboy! Which is always a great sign for us. Get on the...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 13, 2008 10:37 AM
SI's Peter King says the Dolphins are poised to have a big offseason after releasing Trent Green, Marty Booker and LJ Shelton. With those guys off the books, the Fins' cap number has gone from $29 million to $40 million (sadly, my cap space is holding steady at $58.12) which means they are now free to throw their money at big-time free agents. King mentions LB Lance Briggs, CB Asante Samuel and S Gibril Wilson as possible candidates. Yes and thank you. On all three. Of course, the Fins won't land all three, so they'll need to invest wisely. Here now are my top free agents (Yes, real, actual football talk. The dick jokes will have to take the day off): Defensive Line 1.) Albert Haynesworth, Titans: They'll be...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 11, 2008 3:44 PM
The Dolphins have cut Trent Green, Marty Booker, LJ Shelton and Keith Traylor, among others today. They also cut Anthony Alabi, Anthony Bryant, Marion Dukes and Joe Toledo. Toledo -- the guy everyone thought was a Nick Saban draft day steal even though his knees were made of glass, gone. Shelton is also free to go eat as many donuts as his heart desires. And Marty Booker is gone too? Man am I going to miss it when he catches a pass and then immediately falls down even though there isn't a defender within 10 yards of him. And Trent Green? Trent Green! Gone! Free to throw interceptions and die from brain trauma on some other team! Fuck and yes!! GM Jeff Ireland sent them off with a...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 11, 2008 12:30 PM
Per PFT, NFL Network's Adam Schefter is saying the Dolphins could take Virginia DE Chris Long with the number one overall pick. "The widespread thinking is that the Miami Dolphins will ultimately will regard Chris Long as entailing the least risk in return for a contract that will carry roughly $35 million in guaranteed money."Long seems like a Bill Parcells type of player. He's a meaty dude with meaty arms, meaty legs and a meaty neck. And we all know Parcells loves his meat (Hey, a fat joke! I'm witty!). Chris is also the son of Hall of Famer Howie Long. Howie Long was an awesome defensive end for the Oakland Raiders back in the day. Not so awesome, his movie career. If Chris can bring it like his...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Eli Manning appeared on David Letterman Tuesday night. Letterman asked Eli if had a theory on why Pats coach Bill Belichick left the field before the game ended. Manning replied: "Trying to beat traffic, I guess." Look at little Eli talking some shit. Classic. This has been a fantastic week, started by the New England Patriots completing choking away their pursuit of 19-0 and a perfect season and culminating with a picture of Merisa Miller's ass. True to their own douchebaggery, Patriots fans have either disappeared from the face of the Earth (particularly those who polluted this blog over the past season), or are doing what comes naturally to them when their teams lose: whining like little pussies (link found via Kissing Suzy Kolber). That's right. A petition. Holy...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
ESPN and Scout Inc.'s Todd McShay released his latest mock draft yesterday. You can see it here but you'd have to be a complete and utter sap and subscribe to ESPN Insider to do so (I came about this information while watching SportsCenter, lying in bed eating a hardy chicken soup the Dudette cooked up for my sick ass. I had her dress in a nurse's outfit, incidentally). At one point, McShay had the Dolphins taking Virginia DE Chris Long. Now he has them taking BC quarterback Matt Ryan. This is the second time Ryan and the Fins have been mentioned together this off-season. McShay's reason is thusly: If the Dolphins aren't convinced that John Beck is their quarterback, then they'll take the top quarterback, who happens to be...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 7, 2008 12:52 PM
Hey there Nation. Nothing's going on with the Dolphins, and I've been knocked on my ass with the flu (or as they say in the sports world: "flu-like symptoms”). So I'll just post a comment left by our resident badass commenter and New York correspondent, Dat Roro Kid. It says a lot. A lot more than I can say right now because I feel like absolute shit. So... here you go. Feel free to share your thoughts as usual:"Anyone else have the feeling that yesterday might have been one of those historic, watershed, turnaround moments in Miami sports history? We trade Shaq and remove that Albatross. UM stocks up on big-time recruits. All in the week AFTER the fuckin' Patriots lose the SB and miss out on a perfect season...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 5, 2008 12:12 PM
The Dolphins have their new offensive coordinator. 65 year old Dan Henning has been hired by Bill Parcells to turn the Dolphins' 28th ranked offense around. Oh, he is so fucked. Henning has been around for quite a while. He was even once hired by Don Shula in 1979. He was then fired by Don Shula in 1980. Henning met with his best success as O-coordinator of the Carolina Panthers from 2002-2006. He was brought into Carolina under similar circumstances. The Panthers had just completed a one-win season and their offense was ranked at the bottom of the league. But just a year after being hired, the Panthers found themselves in Super Bowl XXXVIII. They eventually lost the big game to the Patriots by a mere 3 points. Philosophy-wise,...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 5, 2008 12:02 PM
Just a reminder that we, Fins Nation, are the reason the Patriots lost the Super Bowl, thus preserving the Fins' Perfect Season. Sure, Eli threw the ball really good and Strahan did some outstanding sacking and Plaxico and Tyree had some awesome catches. But it was us, Nation. Right here, on Christmas Eve 2007, after the Pats beat the Fins to go 15-0 with one game left to play to finish the regular season 16-0, that we sealed their fate. Led by the likes of commenters like Gersom and Rojowill as well as a flurry of e-mails I received from a bunch of you, it was all set. The formula, simple. Pats go 16-0 and Karma will take a big wet bite out of their asses in the playoffs....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 4, 2008 10:32 PM
As expected, thanks to the Giants' beat down of the previously undefeated Patriots, the 1972 Perfect Season Miami Dolphins were finally able to drink their annual champagne. The rest of the league's fan bases are annoyed by this seasonal ritual. Hey, fuck you, rest of the league's fan bases. Who gives a shit if a bunch of old men crack open some bubbly every year to celebrate their perfection and the fact that no one else has done what they did? Does Mercury Morris' inane shitty rapping really get your panties that much in a twist? Really? Ah well. Fuck you, anyway. Congrats to the old curmudgeons. And to the rest of Fins Nation. As much as it bothers other teams' fans, and as much as they like to...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Here's what I said Friday: "the Giants have as much a shot at winning as I do banging Maria Sharapova." Thanks Giants! Call me Maria!...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Lost in the endless reverie that was the Patriots Choke Job last night, was this tidbit by the folks at PFT. "ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio reports that, if it turns out that former Patriots employee Matt Walsh has in possession video of the Rams’ final walk-through practice from Super Bowl XXXVI, New England head coach Bill Belichick will be suspended. For a year." Sweet Mother of Mercy would that be the shit. Speaking of, for all the verbal cock-sucking given to Belichick by the likes of the Boomer Esiasons, Sean Salisburys and Jim Nantz's of the world, and all the bullshit "Greatest Head Coach of All Time" talk that the jackals at ESPN have been spewing all over us all this time, there's this: Belichick's decision to go for it...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Jason Taylor is a winner. Tom Brady, not so much. It seems that every time Jason Taylor steps onto the same football field as Tom Brady, bad things happen to Tom Brady. So for all the accolades and congratulatory salutes going to Eli Manning and the Giants defense, and rightly so, people also need to recognize the Jason Taylor Effect on last night's game. This cannot be overstated enough. Just before kickoff last night, at midfield, Taylor was named the Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year. The award goes to players who best combine off-the-field as well as on-the-field achievement. Taylor's done some kickass work through his foundation, especially for kids. Tom Brady is also performing services for kids, like making them bastards and whatnot. So, congrats to...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 4, 2008 12:21 AM
Hey Massholes... You ain't never coming into this motherfucking house! Now run along and go eat a dick or two...- (No, no, Bill Simmons. Fuck YOU!)...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
By The Dude on February 1, 2008 10:26 AM
You want a Super Bowl prediction? Pfft. I ain’t watching that shit! Why? Subjugate myself to 7 hours of media coverage of how Tom Brady’s farts smell like homemade cookies? And then another 4 and half hours of watching a game the Giants have as much a shot at winning as I do banging Maria Sharapova? Followed by another 5 hours of post-game coverage telling me how Tom Brady's semen is the cure for cancer? Mixed in with a Tom Petty half-time show? Yea, no thanks (I once met Tom Petty in a Key West bar. He was very cool. True story.) But there’s no way of escaping the massive hype-wave that will crash down on us this Sunday like an unstoppable rebel force (a rebel force led by...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
