The Hobbit Has Gone North (and other crap)

Here's what happened over the weekend while 10,000 BC was hitting No. 1 at the box office, thus signaling the end of Western civilization as we know it:

-- The Dolphins have just become 52% less ridiculous. Another face of the debacle that was the 2007 season has left us. Jesse Chatman has gone to the Jets. While Jesse did provide us with some comedic gold last season, he also represented everything that went wrong with the Fins in '07. The guy was our starting running back at one point for fucksake. I just threw up in my mouth. The Hobbit ends his days as a Dolphin with 515 yards and 1 touchdown. Now, he'll be eating whole turkeys and roaming the streets of New York looking for donuts in the city that never sleeps. I envy Jets bloggers. I really do.

-- Justin Smiley was on 790 The Ticket's Jorge Sedano show on Friday. And instead of giving a normal, boring, cliche' filled interview, he tore new Jets OG Alan Faneca a new asshole. Said Smiley: “First of all, Alan Faneca’s ancient. The guy is about 10 damn years older than me. Anyone can pull some game film up. Go watch all my game film. That’ll do the talking. Parcells didn’t sign Faneca. They had the cap room to do it and didn’t want to do it. There must be some good things that they saw in me. I want to let my play do the talking. I’m so excited to get down there … and get this thing turned around.”

Suddenly our rivalry with the Jets is turning up a few notches. Nice to see the Dolphins finally signing guys with working testicles. Smiley sounds like a badass. He's also got a heavy breathing thing going on, which is a little creepy. (On a side note, here's a fun drinking game you might wanna play at work: If you listen to Sedano's show, take a shot every time he utters the word "Okay." You'll be hammered before 10AM)

-- The Fins are off to attend my boy Vernon Gholston's personal workout today. Gholston’s stock has been through the roof since the combine last month. And on Friday during Ohio State's pro day, he actually proved that he is a mutant by improving on his combine measurables. He ran a 4.58 40 and recorded a vert of 42 inches. Jesus, this guy's not human. If he doesn't end up with us and ends up in either a Jets uniform or with the Pats, I'm going to shit. Literally shit. I'm going to pull my pants down at my draft party and shit. Maybe I'll shit into the nacho dip. That's always fun.

Comments

[gersom]

EEWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[vman]

Maybe Sedano thinks he's Leo Getz

OK OK They FUCK you at the drive through....

Dropin a growler in the dip....Priceless

[ro]

Guy that arrives to the draft party late:

"This dip tastes like shit!"

[Tom in Nashville]

Guy that arrives late the draft party AND has been playing Sedano Show Drinking Game hours earlier:

"Man, this dip is good. Extra chunky and even has corn in it!"

[Coral Gables Dave]

Jesus Tom... that's gross!!!

[Coral Gables Dave]

By the way, anyone else tired of the Jason Taylor wants out of Miami bullshit?

Not sure if the Dude's gonna cover it. But enough already!

http://www.miamiherald.com/616/story/450551.html

[gersom]

Ro and Tom! Funny shit.

[Tom in Nashville]

Thanks Gersom - I'll be here all week....try the veal...

In other "shitty" news, I just saw where Rex Hadnot went to the Browns. This sucks, because he was a solid player on the o-line for us. He even made the OL protection calls, because Satele wasn't ready for it. He seems to have the size and athleticism Tuna likes, so it baffles me.

I sure hope Tuna and company know what they're doing, cause OL seems to be the weakest area. I wouldn't mind seeing Jake Long as our #1 overall...

[b.a.c.]

about time with some jets rivalry.....i havent punched an obnoxious jets fan in ages!

[Deof Movestofca]

Knowing Jests fans, they'll be bragging, "We gots your #1 runner! We gots your #1 runner!"

[Coral Gables Dave]

Haha... yea right Deof... I'm already hearing that they like the signing.

Such imbeciles.

[Coral Gables Dave]

Yea Tom... I really thought they'd at least go after Jake Scott but he went to the Titans. They only signed Smiley so far. So something gives. Unless they have a bunch of prospects high on their draft board we haven't heard about.

But J Long is looking better and better every day.

[marv albert's hair piece]

I'm personally not a big fan of Hadnot. We could've kept him for depth, I suppose. But he wanted to go somewhere he could start. Smiley is an upgrade.

By the way, Scrambled Eggs signed with the Rams today.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/sports/football/pro/dolphins/sfl-hadnot-green,0,5311253.story

[Ant]

From the land of the blue collar, or, Jacksonville: heard today on the radio, "Let's make the Dolphins a Godfather offer for JT - the 3rd and 5th rounds picks we [the Jag-offs] got for Marcus Stroud when he went to the Bills."

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, right?

[vman]

More like Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo.......