Entries from April 2008
Archives
I gotta say I agree with DRK. I’m glad I wasn’t on that panel last night. Because, unlike the great Will Leitch, I probably would have lunged at Buzz Bissinger and beaten the ever living shit out his scrotum-looking balding face (seriously, the guy’s face looks like a freshly waxed ballsack. Never thought I’d live to see that). I’d beat him up good and then shit in his mouth while he lay bleeding and unconscious. How’s that for fucking clever writing, Buzz? I think AJ Daulerio put it best: "[Blogging and mainstream journalism] are two entirely seperate media. Bloggers are not putting newspaper columnists (or print media) out of business — bad newspapering is. These two worlds don't have to co-exist and were never intended to be that way....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
I didn't want to do it. But since I'm a Dolphins blogger, I am legally bound to comment on the whole Jason Taylor-Bill Parcells brouhaha. The story in a nutshell: JT stopped by to visit the team a few weeks ago. Everybody was all like, "Hey what up, JT! You look so gay on that dancing show! Hahaha!" And then JT walked into a room where coaches -- and Bill Parcells -- were watching game-film and JT was all, "Hey I hope you're not watching game tape of some defensive ends! LOL." And nobody responded and, reportedly Parcells looked over at JT and completely snubbed him. The end. Now... Salguero is reporting that shit has hit the fan; fans are divided; bloggers are pissed; cats and dogs living together......
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
According to a rumor I just made up, top NFL personnel people are calling Jalen Parmele the next Marion Barber. Jeff Ireland concurs....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
The Dolphins have added eight college free agents. A quarter of them won't make the final roster but that's not gonna stop us from getting all excited about it anyway. They signed Hawaii WR Davone Bess. I already compared my excitement over his signing with my excitement for a woman's ass (and linking to the world's greatest movie scene). They also signed Georgia Southern QB Jayson Foster, who everyone seems to be excited about because he can play both quarterback and wide receiver! Yay! He's like Slash! Remember Slash!? Kordell Stewart! I remember Kordell Stewart! And that's why I'm not as excited as everyone else about this signing! But welcome aboard anyway, Jason! Also signed: Portland State tackle Daren Heerspink, Delaware tackle Mike Byrne, Boise State tackle Dan Gore, Montana...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
It seems that the Dolphins scored a pretty nice draft grade across the board from various experts yesterday. For example, the Star-Telegram called the Chiefs and the Dolphins the biggest winners of the draft and awarded them each the highest grades of all the NFL teams. And CBS.Sportsline gave the Fins an A. Then there's Mel Kiper Jr. He too is a draft expert. Mainly because he says so. So we'd best listen up. Don't mess with Mel Kiper. He'll beat your ass if you get sassy with him. That Todd McShay is just begging to get the shit knocked out of him. Kiper gave the Fins a B. Then remembered that we drafted Chad Henne and downgraded it to a B-. Fuck him. Kiper criticized Henne's accuracy and...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
During Phillip Merling's conference call with the Miami media, he said that he's "going to a good team that's competitive." He also said of Bill Parcells: "I like that type of coach." So either Phillip Merling thinks he's going to the Dallas Cowboys, and that this is 2006, or he just hasn't been paying attention. All dickishness aside, a few words about our new defensive end: Phillip Merling may end up being the steal of the 2008 NFL Draft. Coming into the draft, he was called a mid-to-late first round pick. Some had him going to the Redskins, Buccaneers or 49ers in the first round. Merling's draft stock fell when he suffered a sports hernia injury, which in turn led to a craptastic combine. But he more than made...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
I really like what the Dolphins did this year! Last year when they drafted Ted Ginn Jr. with the 9th overall pick, I did a spit take with my Miller Highlife. It was a little embarrassing, actually. But no one noticed. As you can see, I often wear a helmet with a faceguard. Plus I passed it off as sneezing so no one suspected anything. I quietly excused myself from the room and changed into my cowl while Destro and Zartan went to take a "look" at my new pool. Or so they say. Those assholes know fully well they were sneaking more peaks at the Baroness sunbathing. Meh, who can blame them? That bitch is high maintenance but damn, her tits are spectacular! Anyway, after changing into my...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
The Dolphins were still active even when the draft ended. They signed one of my favorite players from college last year -- Davone Bess from Hawaii. Bess had a sick season last year, catching passes like a madman for the Warriors as Colt Brennan's top target. He caught 108 passes for 1,266 yards and 12 touchdowns. Bess is a sharp route runner, he's quick, has great hands and is a tremendous athlete. He might project as a slot receiver in the NFL and can definitely help in special teams. I like this signing a lot. Know what else I like? A great ass. When I think of asses, a woman's ass... something comes over me! Okay that's it....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Aaaaaaand, we're done. Well, that was fun. I'm all tapped out. Thanks for joining me, Nation. Thanks for the comments and the e-mails and the general all-around awesomeness that you always bring. Thanks also for making the last two days the most visited days of FinsNation's short history. You guys kick major ass. And that's way better than just regular ass. If you missed any of the draft, be sure to peruse the last five or six posts to get caught up with the whole shebang, or you can just visit the Draft Picks Page. I'll be back later to give my thoughts on the whole thing. But for now... I'm leaving on a high note!...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
We'll cover the rest of the day here. Couple of thoughts from the third: The Giants get Mario Manningham, screwing up Parcells' plan to turn the Fins offense into the Miami Wolverines. Great pick for the G-Men. The whole "lying about smoking marijuana" thing is bullshit. The dude can play. So he likes to fire up a doob every once in while and then lies when asked about it at a job interview. Who among us can say we've never done that??? Also, the Pats draft QB Kevin O'Connell from San Diego State. Dammit! This kid is a really, really good quarterback. But what? Why would the Pats do this? Because, as I've been harping on for the last two months despite your angry, angry e-mails -- you can...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
The Dolphins traded the first pick of the third round to the Lions for Detroit's 3rd round (66th overall) and 6th round (176 overall). The Dolphins now have the 66th overall pick of the third round. #66 Pick: DE Kendall Langford, Hampton Yet another defensive end for Parcells and the Dolphins. At 6-5, 287 pounds, Langford's a big mother of a DE. He has long arms, a huge frame and, from the looks of the only picture I could find of him, likes to wrestle invisible men. He's a powerful player who can handle the 300 pound d-linemen. He's fast and has great feet. As with all of Parcells-type linemen, he offers a lot of versatility. He can play end, defensive tackle and outside linebacker. How do I know...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
So Bill Parcells was able to wait it out and still got his man in Chad Henne. Was it the right pick? "Time will tell," Henne told the press today of his prospects to win the starting job. The consensus on Henne is that he has a great arm but his pocket awareness and decision making are kind of crappy. The immediate comparison that comes to mind is Drew Bledsoe. A statue in the pocket whose decision making was questionable and who showed flashes of greatness but was, overall, mind numbingly infuriating. Hopefully, in the end, Henne turns out to be more of a Tom Brady than a Drew Bledsoe. Henne started all four seasons at Michigan and finished with 47 starts and a 59.7 completion rate. As I've...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
"I am William Parcells! Behold! For below... is my domain!" #32 Pick: DE Phillip Merling, Clemson Merling is a 6'4, 276 lbs defensive end. He projects as an ideal LDE and is called a "complete player" by both Mike Mayock and Mel Kiper Jr. Mayock went so far as to call this a very good value pick. Yet one more sign that Jason Taylor's days as a Dolphin are numbered. And yet one more sign that none of us know shit when it comes to this draft thing. But, yea, hooray Phillip Merling! Update (7:30PM): TRADE ALERT? The St. Petersburg Times is reporting that Bucs and Fins may have a trade in place for Jason Taylor. The Bucs would give up their 2nd rounder (No. 52 overall). We'll should...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
"After feasting on scrap metal and mortar, I like to chew a stick of Dentyne! It's sugar free!" Update (6:07): TRADE ALERT! Adam Schefter just reported that the Eagles have traded their 4th round pick to the Fins for RB Lorenzo Booker. Update (5:03PM): Now that the Jags are out of the Jason Taylor running, Salguero is reporting that Philadelphia, Washington, Dallas, San Diego and Green Bay are showing the most interest in possibly trading for JT. There was also a report out of Tampa yesterday that the Fins have been talking to the Bucs for their 2nd round pick (#52 overall) for JT....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Pre-Draft Open Thread Jake Long's father spent 30 years of his life working for General Motors. But Jake doesn't give a rat's ass about that. He's taking some of that $30 million and he's buying himself a Ford truck. "Screw you old man! I'll never be like you! NEVER!!!" ESPN's Michael Smith reports that the Raiders are going to take Darren McFadden. Thank you, Jesus and a fuck you, Jets. The Rams are expected to take Chris Long. When the NFL Network dudes asked Rams GM Billy Devaney about it, he tried to act coy and said, "All I can tell you is that our pick is going to be a pillar for our defense." And laughed at his own cleverness. Haha... eat a dick Billy Devaney. The Herald's...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
The Sun-Sentinel is reporting that the Dolphins traded their only 4th round pick (100th overall) to Dallas for linebacker Akin Ayodele and tight end Anthony Fasano. Fasano, 6-4, 265 lbs, was a second-round pick in 2006. In two seasons he caught 28 passes for 269 yards and one touchdown. I'm not entirely sure, but that's about 269 yards and one touchdown more than David Martin. Ayodele, meanwhile, started at weak side inside linebacker for Dallas last season and recorded 57 tackles. He was a third round pick for Jacksonville in 2002 but signed with Dallas in 2006 as a free agent. He was recently in the news for saying how he wasn't going to roll over for Zach Thomas in Dallas. Now he'll have to roll over for Reggie...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Here’s how the FN Draft Day Operations are going to go down all this weekend: Open threads throughout Saturday and Sunday. I’ll post updates when appropriate. I’ll also post smarmy comments when appropriate, because I’m a dick. Analysis on picks and crap like that. Of course, any breaking news on the day where the Fins are concerned. Also, I’ll have a special updated draft page on the left sidebar to keep you abreast on all our picks (Ed.-- heh, heh, a breast). So keep an eye out for that. So please feel free to chime in throughout Saturday and Sunday with thoughts, opinions, any breaking news you might hear, comments on Stuart Scott's shitty useless backstage interviews, Mel Kiper and his ridiculous hair going off on one of his...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Because the draft is a damn coin toss anyway.... so here we go:Pick #32 Prediction: I’m going with my gut here. My gut tells me it’ll be Chad Henne. My heart hopes it’s either Derrick Harvey or Quentin Groves (if available). Prediction #1: Parcells will use a first day pick on a tight end. Brad Cottam out of Tennessee and Kellen Davis out of Michigan State are my predictions. Prediction #2: They will try their damndest, but JT will not be traded this weekend. At least not for a second-rounder (especially not a first-rounder). If he goes, it’ll be for a third-rounder. But, at the end of the day, I’m going to say no one will bite. Prediction #3: Matt Ryan will take a Brady Quinn-like fall. Prediction #4:...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
I’ve received a few e-mails asking me why I keep bringing up the QB spot in this draft, and we thought you liked John Beck, and we have 4,756 positions to fill besides the QB position, etc. And a few that say that Beck sucks and that Joe Flacco rules. But I like John Beck. I like him a lot. I am a John Beck fan. I think he has a real future and getting him a massive wall of protection in Jake Long will do wonders for The Mormon. In fact, I was the very first Dolphins blogger to come out and support the pick and tell the masses to chill the fuck out when we drafted him last year after passing on Brady Quinn. Nothing has changed...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Sad news to report, Nation. The Dolphins have released safety Cameron Worrell. That's right. Worrell -- aka Toast McGee, aka Randy Moss' Personal Flameboy! -- is no longer a Dolphin. Miami also waived seven other players, including quarterback Casey Bramlet, linebacker Marcello Church, safety Tuff Harris, cornerback Jereme Perry, linebacker Mark Washington and receivers Kerry Reed and Chandler Williams. All people I never knew existed until this very moment. It appears Parcells is making room for this weekend's Draftpocalypse Now! So, we pay one more visit to the Toast McGee tribute page. Try to keep it together....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
"The Dolphins spent the past two weeks finalizing a draft board. Ireland and Parcells met daily, sometimes several times daily, to discuss players and strategies with the goal of doing what is best for the team while also avoiding disagreements during the draft. 'He brings a great history of players that he has drafted, guys he's seen have success and, like the question was asked, `How much do you draw from your misses and your hits?' Well, he's had some misses and a lot of hits in his time so you draw from those experiences,' Ireland said." You smell that? Do you smell that? Draft day, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of a good lateral movement and forty-time in the morning. You...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
The Sun-Sentinel's Omar Kelly says that Bill Parcells is targeting Delaware QB Joe Flacco, Michigan QB Chad Henne, Florida DE Derrick Harvey, and Auburn DE Quentin Groves in the early part of the draft. Let me put on my nerd helmet (which is essentially a silver salad strainer with old wires and a calculator duct taped on top) so we can do some scouting. Okay, now: Florida DE Derrick Harvey: Harvey is a slightly bigger version of Vernon Gholston, although not as fast or physical. At 6-5, 271 lbs, he's got the size Parcells likes in his DEs. Harvey's an exceptional athlete. He has a tremendous burst off the snap and great football speed to get around the edges of an offensive line. He attacks QBs with ferocity and shows...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Now that we got our first pick out of the way, it's time yet again to focus on... that's right! Jason Taylor trade rumors! [Applause] CBS.Sportsline's Clark Judge (oh the main stream media and their made-up sounding names!) says that while the Dolphins were finalizing their contract with Jake Long, they were at the very same time, trying to trade JT:"Two clubs whom the Dolphins contacted confirmed Tuesday that Miami is shopping Taylor, looking for a mid-to-low first-round draft pick in return... Miami is reaching out to others to gauge interest in the 2006 NFL Defensive Player of the Year. According to someone close to the situation, that's consistent with Parcells' approach to building football teams... One of the two teams to whom we spoke indicated it might have...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Just your bi-monthly post to remind you how amazing I am. The South Florida Fan Blog is a ... well ... a blog, run by the Sponge Bros. And it is steeped in the quality I like to call The Awesomeness. They cover the entire SoFla sports scene with a lot of passion, knowledge and with a bit of homeristic bias sprinkled in as well. They cover the Fins, Heat, Canes, Marlins and, yes, even the Panthers. Anyway, yesterday they plugged yours truly in a totally non-gay way (Ed. -- not that there's anything wrong with that):"At first, I was a bit skeptical of their claim: "The Greatest Miami Dolphins Blog In The Universe!" Sure, it's not exactly high on the humility scale, but they talk the talk (which...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Now that we have our first pick locked down, we can sit back, relax and analyze what we got in our man Jake Long. Never has game film for an offensive-lineman made me so excited. That's right. Excited. Boner city? Well, no, not quite. But excited nonetheless. Oh, and a prediction before we move on: Armando Salguero is going to totally rain on everybody's parade and shit on this pick. You heard it here first. Meet Jake Long. Todd McShay breaks down Jake Long and calls him bigger stronger and more physical than Joe Thomas was last year. And says he'll be a Pro Bowler for years to come. John Clayton says the pick makes sense. Mel Kiper chimes in. "The Jumbo Elliot comparisons are real." Jeff Ireland says...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
FoxSports.com is reporting that Michigan OT Jake Long and the Dolphins have agreed to a 5-year contract. "The first pick of the NFL Draft is no longer a mystery. Michigan offensive lineman Jake Long and the Miami Dolphins have agreed to terms on a five-year deal, FOXSports.com has learned, and Long is slated to fly into Miami later Tuesday to join his new team."So there you have it. Jake Long is a Miami Dolphin. We finally have our franchise left tackle (hopefully). This kind of takes away the suspense a little, given that it's still only Tuesday and all. Still, when Roger Goodell comes up to the podium on Saturday and announces Jake Long's name, I think that a reasonable reaction would be totally unrehearsed, unbridled enthusiasm. So just...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
After all the talk about the Dolphins liking Michigan QB Chad Henne, the Sun-Sentinel's Harvey Failkov says he has a source that tells him the Fins want to draft Delaware QB Joe Flacco: "Although the Dolphins have visited Michigan quarterback Chad Henne more times (and vice-versa) than any other draft-eligible QB, my sources tell me that Delaware's Joe Flacco is their true target after taking one of the Longs with their first pick."Man, this draft is tough to figure. It's also evil. Very, very evil. How can you tell it's evil? It's got sources coming out of every crevice spewing all kinds of information and mis-information all designed to throw us off. Also, it has a goatee. If it wasn't for Matt Ryan, Flacco would be the official champion...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Yesterday there were reports that Jake Long and the Dolphins were close to a contract. But then I called bullshit. And so did John Clayton and Adam Schefter and PFT. But today, The Palm Beach Post says that Jake Long to the Dolphins is pretty much a foregone conclusion:"The Dolphins don't have to make the No. 1 pick until 10 minutes after the NFL Draft begins Saturday, but it appears that they won't have to wait that long to get the player they want - Michigan offensive tackle Jake Long. Negotiations between the Dolphins and Long's agent, Tom Condon, have reached the point that a contract could be announced any day, an NFL source told The Palm Beach Post on Monday. The source said 'there's a very good chance'...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Some guy named Tom Curran (sounds made up) is saying that Jake Long and the Fins are close to finalizing a contract."The Dolphins flirtations with Michigan tackle Jake Long over the past few weeks have been well-publicized but this morning, with six days to go before the draft, a league source is indicating that a contract agreement is nearly in place."A league source is indicating? Did the source give Curran the tip via a game of charades? My guess is that Parcells is somehow responsible for this and is sending out mis-information to either get a trade in the works or low-ball Chris Long or Vernon Gholston. How else does this Curran guy beat the Chris Mortensens and Adam Schefters of the world to the punch on a story...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Rumor has it, the Dolphins like Michigan QB Chad Henne. And I mean like him as more than just a friend. Earlier this month ESPN's Todd McShay had the Fins taking Henne with their second pick. And, according to the Miami Herald, the Dolphins have told "at least two people" they like Henne and see little difference between him and Boston College quarterback Matt Ryan. Who are these two people? Are they just two random people Dolphins officials ran into in an elevator or at church? Were they told at the same time or seperately? Was it a friendly chitchat? Maybe some guy, trying to break the ice at his wife's co-worker's baby shower with a couple of other guys standing next to the snack table asked one of...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
We’re just a week away from the NFL Draft and the Fins are in negotiations with Jake Long to make him the first overall pick. Or not. With the draft eight days away, I would’ve liked to have presented you with my latest mock draft. But it’s largely unchanged. So I won’t. Not because I’m too lazy to draw up a new one – although, God knows I am – but because nothing has happened to change my mind. I still love Vernon Gholston but feel Chris Long is the safer pick at No. 1. I still love Brian Brohm and hope somehow he’ll be there at 32 and that we draft him instead of Chad Henne, who many have said Parcells likes. And I still think Parcells wants...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland held a press conference today to talk about next week's draft. The whole thing was a fairly boring, cliche' filled presser. Then he apparently, perhaps, maybe, let the proverbial cat out of the bag and revealed the Fins' true intentions with the first overall pick. Asked about the first overall pick, Ireland answered: "I'm going after the player that best fits us. I don't want bad guys on my team. Of course, I want guys with great upside. This is the first pick of the draft. You hope that this guy is going to be a pillar of your defense for a long time. He kept on blathering but was interrupted when the press corps started laughing. "What did I say?" Ireland asked. The press...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
The Wall Street Journal has a Q & A with new Fins owner Stephen Ross. Asked if he has any concerns about working with Parcells, a man who is known to butt heads with NFL owners, Ross says: "He's head of football operations and he has a track record. I'm certainly not planning on interfering with him." Not asked: What he plans to do about his incredible shrinking head....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
When they showed Edyta doing this move during their rehearsal last week on Dancing With the Stars, you may have noticed Jason Taylor's bleeped reaction when he first noticed how she can contort her body this way: "Holy shit," he said. Holy shit indeed, JT. Holy shit indeed....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Well, here it is. The schedule of who'll be kicking our ass and when in 2008 (home games in CAPS): SEPT. 7 NEW YORK JETS 1:00 P.M. Sept. 14 at Arizona Cardinals 4:15 p.m. Sept. 21 at New England Patriots 1:00 p.m. SEPT. 28 BYE OCT. 5 SAN DIEGO CHARGERS 1:00 P.M. Oct. 12 at Houston Texans 1:00 p.m. OCT. 19 BALTIMORE RAVENS 1:00 P.M. OCT. 26 BUFFALO BILLS 1:00 P.M. Nov. 2 at Denver Broncos 4:05 p.m. ...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
According to FoxSports, there's a rumor going around that Michigan OT Jake Long doesn't want to be a Dolphin (ah, well, fuck him then!). Long's agent and the Dolphins, however, continue to hash out a contract. The guy next in line IF Jake decides to cross-dress in another city could be DE Vernon Gholston, although I wouldn't count Chris Long out at all. John Czarnecki writes:"The word on the street is that Michigan offensive tackle Jake Long doesn't want to play for the Dolphins, who continue to negotiate with him as the first overall draft choice. There's a special honor in being the first pick so Long's agents continue to talk. Of course, there is a deadline to these contract talks and then the Dolphins will move onto the...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Goddamn what an awesome day here in Miami! 62 degrees, a dry cool wind, not a cloud in the sky. And the Dolphins schedule comes out today. No really. I'm going to be totally straight-forward with you, because that's the kind of guy I am. Being in Miami is fucking fantastic. Honestly. It's awesome. It's wonderful waking up here knowing that there will be no shoveling of snow today. Or any other day. The beach is 30 minutes from everywhere. The Keys just a few hours drive. It's t-shirt & shorts weather every damn day. Palm trees swaying, sun shine shining. And the women! Holy. Shit. The women! I don't mean to sound condescending or arrogant about it. Other places are nice too. But shit, it's amazing like a...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
SI's Peter King tells us today that Jake Long is the only player the Fins are negotiating with right now. But Bill Parcells has given Long a deadline to accept his offer, or they're moving on. "Miami is negotiating with one player right now -- Michigan tackle Jake Long. There is a deadline, yes; I don't know what it is. But if Long doesn't agree to a deal -- think of something less than the six-year, $62-million deal ($31 million guaranteed) signed by JaMarcus Russell last year -- Parcells will move to his next guy. My educated guess -- which an NFL front-office acquaintance of Parcells seems sure of -- is that the next candidate will be Gholston, the Ohio State defensive end."Bill Parcells is probably the one man...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
The Dolphins may not win more than 3 games this season. And they might be looking at another top 3-draft pick in 2009. But they sure as hell will be able to beat the shit out of just about any one who pisses them off or finds them in a bit of a ‘roid rage. Bill Parcells is bent on making sure the Dolphins are the biggest, strongest team in the NFL. And that means some major weight lifting regimens for the offseason."Parcells was fixed on making an impact in the weight room, and that apparently is happening already in Davie under the supervision of new strength and conditioning gurus Evan Marcus and Dave Puloka. Parcells wants the foundation of the Dolphins forged in the weight room. Several Dolphins...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
--Armando Salguero writes about the Fins re-examining their interest in Auburn LB/DE Quintin Groves, who just recently underwent minor heart surgery to repair what doctors call Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome. Salguero then reveals that he himself has W-P-W. Doctors have said that sudden death due to heart failure affects 0.6 percent of those with W-P-W. Salguero says he hopes the Fins do their research on Groves before considering him. True to form, one of his commenters then wrote: "And I hope, Salguero, you become one of the .6 people who drop dead on the spot." Stay classy, Salguero commenters! --Here's an insightful SI article by former NFL personnel man Mike Lombardi (no, that's not sarcasm) and how he believes Jake Long will be the pick. The main thing Parcells & Co....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Don't order that Jake Long jersey from the Dolphins pro shop just yet. The Sun-Sentinel's Omar Kelly is reporting that, according to a source, the Fins are also in contract negotiations with Ohio State DE/LB Vernon Gholston (yippee!). J-Long and Gholston are represented by the same firm, CAA, but have different agents. Also, J-Long and Gholston both benched 225 pounds 37 times at the NFL combine. So it looks like it'll be J-Long or Gholston. Or not. Whatever. Jesus, we can't even enjoy news that the Fins are in negotiations with a player what with Parcells going around offering contracts to every damn prospect out there every five damn minutes and all. What the crap, Parcells? Put down the Big Gulp and Arby's cheddar & roast beef and pick...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
The Dolphins have begun contract negotiations with Michigan OT Jake Long. This doesn't necessarily mean Big Jake will be the pick. The Fins could also potentially start negotiations with the other prospects they have their eye on. But it looks like Jake Long is among the teams' favorite prospects as the first overall pick of the 2008 draft. Either that or Bill Parcells just pulled one hell of a smoke screen out of his ass. - Thanks to champion FN commenter Dat Roro Kid for breaking the news about the Heat ending the Bulls playoff hopes Jake Long's contract negotiations with Miami in the previous post's comments....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Because nothing makes the day go by faster than a good dump: Barry Jackson has some good stuff on NFL prospects the Fins are looking at beyond the first round JT has made the FInal 8 on Dancing With the Stars. Oh it's on now, Krisi Yamaguchi! The vastly underrated Omar Kelly talks Ted Ginn and asks is he's a true No. 1 WR Armando Salguero says the Fins are going to go heavy on linebackers. Even more so than they already have. Hey look, Steeley McBeam got arrested for DUI! NFL Network dudes discuss Miami's first pick. Mike Mayock says it'll be Jake Long. ESPN's Todd McShay also has Miami taking Jake Long....
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Jason Taylor earned a near-perfect score last night on Dancing With the Stars and has now emerged as the favorite to win it all.* I didn't watch any of last night's proceedings. I watched some college basketball game instead. But apparently, JT appeared to stumble sometime during his routine. However, the judges were blinded by his devastating good looks and all around awesomeness and gave him a 10,9,10 anyway (pretty much the same criteria I have for not wanting the Fins to trade JT away)** Some fans of the show, however, are calling bullshit on all the Jason Taylor goodness and let their feelings be known on the DWTS blog: connie: Get a grip. Youve got to be kidding. Jason and Edyta were terrible. What a disappointment...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Some dude from the Union-Tribute wrote an 800 word piece on how he too does not know what Bill Parcells will do with the Dolphins' first overall pick. But he does make some neat observations, like how Parcells has done nothing but study tapes on college players and talk to coaches about the draft since he got here. After Parcells was appointed the director of football operations of the Miami Dolphins in December, he presented himself for a news conference. He has not had another. When NFL executives gathered in Palm Beach, Fla., for the league's spring meetings, Parcells was not among them. His days are taken up with viewing tapes and meeting with the coaches... Nothing but eat, shit, eat, eat, watch player tapes, eat, talk to coaches,...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
My favorite sci-fi movies deal with post-apocalyptic themes, like Blade Runner, Escape From New York, The Road Warrior and, the granddaddy of them all: Planet of the Apes (No, not that shitty Tim Burton version with Marky Mark. The original 1968 version.) and it's 1970 sequel, Beneath the Planet of the Apes. So it is with great sadness that we at FN say a fond adieu to the great Charlton Heston. Sure, to most he'll forever be Moses or Ben-Hur or that really old guy that liked guns and hated the gays and rapper Ice-T. But he'll always be Taylor to me. Taylor befriended the benevolent apes who sought truth and freedom and fought the oppressive apes with their old way of thinking and their stringent rules on ignoring the...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Some things just can't be unseen. Like your first ever glimpse at a dead body on the side of a bad accident, or the 2 Girls 1 Cup video, or any movie by the guys who made Meet The Spartans. By far these are among the worse things my eyes have ever beheld. Then I saw this last night. The whole thing seemed to unfold before me in slow motion. My testicles shriveled up and back into my body. I started shaking and my breathing got heavier. Sweat poured down my face and I started to foam at the mouth. For a second I thought I was turning into a damn wolfman. A wolfman without balls (maybe that's why he insists on wearing pants?). Mickey Mantle had a drinking...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
The NFL released its pre-season schedule yesterday. I didn't post about it when it first broke because I really don't give a shit. And judging by none of the outraged e-mails I received, apparently neither do you. The NFL says that the regular-season schedule will come out within the next two weeks. That's right. It was supposed to have come out yesterday but then they changed it and now they're saying within the next two weeks. The NFL likes to fuck with us, because it can. "Want the regular season schedule? Hmm... we'll have it for you next week. Or maybe the week after. Or not. Whatever. You'll get it when you get it." And we just sit there and let them rest their nuts right on our...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Patriots head coach and all around asshole Bill Belichick was asked how he feels about his old mentor Bill Parcells (yes, he too is an asshole. but he's our asshole) now being in the same division. Said Belichick: "Mumblemumblemumble, mumblemumble. Mumblemumblemumble..." Translation: "I hate to see that because I have so much respect for Bill [Parcells] and his evaluation of personnel, and his ability to put together an organization. We've seen that on a number of different levels, whether it be [the] New York [Giants], New England, the Jets, and most recently in Dallas. I know Bill will do a great job of rebuilding and strengthening the organization on every level. I think he's already done that, and so, competitively, that's not what I like to see." That is...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Cam Cameron was famous for his circle-jerk spin talk, a habit that eventually had us here at FN conclude that while his penis wanted to give us the straight dope, Cam lacked the balls to say things that may cause a stir among media and fans. But now it seems that we have a head coach in Tony Sparano who says what he means and doesn't give a shit what you think, fucknuts.... -The Sentinel's Ethan Skolnick calls him the "Anti-Cam." Straight talker, tough talker. No talking in circles. No surprises there. He's the anti-Cameron.-Also: When asked if he had soft spots for small college players, because of his history at New Haven, he said: "I have very few soft spots."... On the roster composition: "It may not be...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
Between the Bill Parcells Rules of Complete and Utter Silence Towards the Media and Complete and Utter Non-Access to the Fans and the news that the Fins have a new owner and the tired endless debates on who the Fins will select first with the overall pick, and the lame fact that --shocking!-- the Fins won't trade the first pick, the off-season has officially derailed. So, sorry for not posting yesterday. I had an idea to post some April Fool's item today about the Fins trading for Randy Moss. But it was lame so I didn't. Speaking of, some in the media fell for today's PFT post on Jason Taylor announcing his retirement tonight on Dancing With the Stars. The media showed themselves to be April fools. Or as...
Tags: Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, NFL
