JT Makes DWTS Finals, Fans Shake Their Fists In Anger

Jason Taylor has made the final round of Dancing With the Stars. I know this because I can read. No so much because I watched last night's show. Because I didn't. I pretty much stopped watching after the third episode. Clearly my threshold for shitty television was not as strong as I originally thought. But, yea, JT has a chance to actually win this thing. And I'm rooting for him. Because why the hell not?

It's May. If JT were down here instead of on Dancing With Some Chick With a Sweet Ass, how would that change things? How many more wins would that bring us in 2008? How much closer would it get us to the playoffs? As far as I'm concerned, the Fins blew their chance at trading JT for real value when they insisted on a 1st or high 2nd round pick for him. I know, I know .... he needs to give 110%, be in the trenches with his teammates, giving his heart and soul and eating, sleeping and drinking Miami Dolphins football 24-7 baby! Rrrarrg!! JT has reported to camp early pretty much his entire career. And the net result has been a big heaping pile of shit with a cherry on top. JT reported for camp early last year because Cam Cameron said he should. And the net result was one win. Unless he retires or gets traded, he'll be here. And yes, he'll give the proverbial 110% when the regular season starts and he'll go about his business of handing Tom Brady his own ass on a silver platter.

Jason Taylor dancing, Jason Taylor not dancing... we suck either way. And newsflash: we're going to suck pretty bad in '08 too. Having a guy in training camp in May won't change anything. Everybody just chill. Let the man dance. So Bill Parcells will have an aneurysm because someone dares defy his supreme authority. GASP! Fuck him, the bug up his ass, and the Ho Hos he had for breakfast this morning. It's May. Last season Michael Strahan didn't report to the Giants until September. And oh yea, he had 2 tackles and a sack on his and his team's way to winning Super Bowl XLII five months later.

Everybody just chill. Put your torches and pitchforks down and grab a Miller High Life.

And... Go JT! Kill The Guchi! KILL THE GUCHI!!!!

Comments

[rojowill]

Say what you will about Parcells and JT. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and let you insult Ho Hos!

[Glenn from BC]

I wish he was in Miami with his teammates. If for no other reason than to keep the distractions away. But I'm not going to go kick a stray puppy because he chooses to be on TV either. Clearly he's paving his path for Hollywood and the countless crappy movies he plans to star in.

I'd rather he be in camp and sticking to his current profession rather than trying to be both a football player and a movie star at the same time. But I get what you're saying.

[Coral Gables Dave]

I think it's all moot anyway.

I think JT has seen his last days as a Dolphin. If he doesn't get traded to a contender, he's going to hang em up and go make shitty Disney movies with The Rock.

To paraphrase Kramer, "Up there, he's already gone."

[Coral Gables Dave]

And yes. Nothing beats Ho Ho's when you got the munchies.

[chris a]

dude there really must be shit for news the past few days cuz there has been nothing decent to read in awhile.. no offense

[The Dude]

None taken, Chris. The news is slow as hell lately.

Plus, I'm only one man dammit!!! (eyes redden, voice gets irrationally shaky) Cut me some slack!!!! (balls up in fetal position and begins weeping...)