FinsNation

Travis Daniels Traded to the Browns

The Fins traded Travis Daniels to the Browns today for an undisclosed draft pick. Daniels was a fourth-round pick back in 2005. Daniels had himself a solid rookie season, but then promptly turned into a liability.

Daniels, 25, bottomed out last season, when he routinely gave up big plays and seemed to lose his confidence. Daniels allowed an average of 10.9 yards per completion in 2007, ranking among the worst in the NFL.

Not only that, but according to Armando Salguero, the Browns had inquired about getting Michael Lehan ahead of Daniels but the Dolphins said no.

Cleveland wanted a dude with a severe ankle sprain over Travis Daniels. Bill Parcells said no, because he wanted a dude with a severe ankle sprain over Travis Daniels. Is it me, or has every move made by Nick Saban turned into a hardy bowl of slow simmered shit stew? 

-The DUDE

The Dolphins Will Be Better This Year

The The USA Today ranks the Dolphins as the number one team that finished under .500 last year that should take a leap forward in 2008.

Just having Bill Parcells at the controls gives them someone with a steady hand who has a track record of righting ships. The team appeared to have a strong draft and getting Chad Pennington as their quarterback gives them a solid veteran who Parcells can work with. They even have Ricky Williams, a former object of ridicule, serious about fixing his reputation.

You ever had one of those moments when you feel like you're about to yawn but instead you shit on somebody's face? And then the guy's like, "Hey, man! That's inappropriate!" And then you're all, "Sorry. I thought I was going to yawn." And the guy says, "Oh! Okay, then." Anyway... I forgot where I was going with this. I think my point was that I agree that the Dolphins should do better this year than they did last year.

-The DUDE

John Beck Being Shopped Around

 
Although the Dolphins have yet to say it publicly, the Miami Herald is reporting that the Fins are, in fact, shopping John Beck around. Reportedly, they're looking for a fourth-round pick for The Mormon, but it's unlikely anyone will give them that.

''I could see them getting a late-round pick, maybe conditional,'' a second NFC executive said. ''Last year was a disaster and he [turns] 27'' on Thursday. As perspective, one official noted Cleveland received a sixth-rounder last September from Seattle for former starter Charlie Frye, the 67th pick of the 2005 draft. Beck was drafted 40th in 2007.

Wow. John Beck went from being the possible future franchise quarterback for the Miami Dolphins to Charlie Fucking Frye. Never thought I'd ever say that. Another thing I thought I'd never say: "Would someone please put a dick in my mouth?"

Ah well. Live and learn.

-The DUDE

Donald Thomas is Your New Right Guard

Donald Thomas, the rookie sixth-round pick out of UConn, has won the starting right guard position. It was the right choice because Thomas has been blowing up defensive linemen throughout the entire off-season and pre-season. Thomas has been one of the main reasons Ricky Williams has been able to run all over defenses the last two games.

The Dolphins’ offensive line is now set - Jake Long, Justin Smiley, Samson Satele, Thomas and Vernon Carey. Sparano said having two rookie starters “requires patience,” but is excited about Long and Thomas anchoring the line for many years to come.

Meanwhile, Omar Kelly is calling Thomas the steal of the 2008 draft. So there you go. Last year our O-line nearly singlehandedly murdered Trent Green and John Beck. This year, they have at least two rookies who will make up the foundation of an impenetrable wall for years to come.

Donald Thomas pictures are really hard to find on the Internet. So I went with a picture of Eva Mendez and her gorgeous ass instead. If you think a post should be accompanied by a picture of the player or coach that are being talked about in said post, then I apologize. Also, you might be a homo.

-The DUDE

Michael Lehan Returns

Michael Lehan returned to practice today just three weeks after suffering what looked like a season-ending ankle injury.

During Monday's session he said he got tangled up with receiver Ted Ginn Jr. during a drill and walked away from that collision confident he was healthy enough to play.

"I feel pretty good. One thing I wanted to do is press Ted Ginn and see how I ran with him and give that a judge; see how my quickness is," said Lehan, who contributed 56 tackles, one interception and one fumble recovery last season. "I'm feeling pretty good today."

In a related story, I went to Burger King for lunch today but didn’t have enough money to buy a soda. So I asked for a cup of water, but then filled it with Orange Fanta when no one was looking. I think we all know who the real winner of the day is.

-The DUDE

Ronnie Brown to be Traded?

Armando Salguero writes in his blog that Black Thunder, aka Ronnie Brown, might be traded by the Dolphins before the regular season starts. Salguero sites ESPN's Chris Mortensen and some off-hand comment he made on the extremely unwatchable Monday Night Countdown last night:

Mortensen was asked about Ricky Williams and [...] he went on to say that the Dolphins are so pleased with Williams he "would not be surprised if Ronnie Brown sinks," to the point where "he is playing with another team this season." Mortensen's reason for Brown being out of here is that the player is "struggling" this preseason.

We all know Parcells isn't crazy about running backs (a hunk of cheese, however, is another story) and Ronnie has looked pretty crappy so far in camp and in pre-season. But unless there's a team dumb enough to give the Fins a first round pick or a high second-rounder, this doesn't make all that much sense.

Also, it's important to remember that our chief sources for this "story" are Armando Salguero and Chris Mortensen, two guys who rely heavily on the enchanting power of imagination and one of those water skiing squirrels for their sources on things like this.

-The DUDE

Fight! Fight! Fight!

This is awesome.

The Sun-Sentinel's Harvey Fialkov reports that a full on brouhaha broke out on the practice field this morning. The fight started after a routine passing drill when CB Will Allen went after WR David Kircus and started wailing on him like a kid who missed his daily Ritalin intake on a piniata. Allen was apparently upset about a hard block Kircus laid on the cornerback a few plays earlier. Armando Salguero says that Allen rained blows down upon Kircus while the receiver just curled up into a fetal position on the ground and took his beating good and proper like a disobedient bitch at a prison yard. I would feel bad for Kircus. But then again, he's a total fucking douche. So fuck him.

Peace Be With You John Beck, Josh McCown

Man oh man.  One of these guys is seriously fucked.

Things are not looking good for the two guys on our team who have Jesus as their co-pilot.  Josh McCown and John Beck continue to get less and less reps and I sincerely doubt we’re going to keep four QBs on the final 53-man roster.   They threw, I think, a combined 4 passes on Monday.  Heck, they didn’t even participate in any of the 7-on-7 or 11-on-11 drills in yesterday’s morning practice.  They mostly stood off to the side looking mopey and sad as if someone just took a shit in their sock drawer while Penny and Henne ran the offense. 

On Monday, Tony Sparano declared that the time for considering peoples' feelings is over and it looks like the front office cockpunchers are not wasting any time in sending a couple of messages.  It’s a darn shame to see the John Beck era potentially come to a close so abruptly.  I think a majority of the fans, including us here at FN, thought there was something promising in The Mormon and, early on, he exhibited some of that grit that made him someone to root for. Plus that awshucks missionary vibe he had going for him was really quite likable.

On the other hand, it’s encouraging to see production being rewarded in our young guys.  It reinforces the idea that this regime is downright serious about the youth movement and it’s encouraging to get results out of guys like Kendall Langford, Donald Thomas, Phillip “Longshanks” Merling, Henne and hell, let’s even throw Derek Hagan into the mix for kicks.  I’m willing to endure some mediocre or even subpar success in the short term in exchange for a future filled with young, tight knit players to make up for all the years we gave away draft picks like they were burning a hole in our pockets. 

So to Beck and Josh we say: Peace be with you.

And we'll all sing ‘Holy, Holy’ as Beck and McCown are escorted off the practice field. Or, some of us will hit a strip club with Joey Porter. Everyone has their own way of celebrating.

-DRK

And So the Kicker Who Wore Gloves in 98 Degree Weather is Jobless

So long Jay Feely.

The former Giants kicker decided to sign with the Dolphins in 2007 because he grew up rooting for them. Of course, right after that, the Giants go on to the win the Super Bowl while the Dolphins go on to have one of the worst seasons in NFL history. Then Jay hurt his groin, which is not only bad for a kicker, but pretty much bad for any man. And finally, he's replaced by a dude who looks like he should be on a couch somewhere at 3:00 in the afternoon, eating Cheetos and playing Madden between bong hits.

Was it the groin injury? Was it his outspoken nature? Was it his insistance on wearing gloves in 98 degree weather? We may never know. Mainly because he's a kicker, so who gives a shit.

Anyway, Dan Carpenter and his 49-yard infield dirt field goal kicking powers is now our starting kicker.

-The DUDE

Actually, This Pennington Thing Could Turn Out To Be a Good Move, Maybe

When I heard the Fins were thinking of bringing in Chad Pennington, my first reaction was not unlike someone undergoing a rectal exam with a table spoon. We have become the highway rest stop for has-been injured QBs who've been thrown away by their old teams. And it had delivered one giant heaping wad of shit after another. So here's Pennington, coming off a terrible season with a shoulder injury. But that didn't stop Parcells' pants from bulging when he heard Chad was free. Nor did it stop Parcells from making the call to Pennington's agent.

So here we go again, I thought. Just one more shitty re-tread QB to add to our fantabulous collection. But then came Saturday. And I saw Chad Henne and his potential and, I must admit, I got a bulge in my own pants. It's just one game, but I'm pretty sure we finally found our franchise QB. And what does Henne need other than to be constantly oiled and have updates installed into his hard drive? He needs a dude to teach him while he sits and waits for his turn. And who did he have to teach him? Josh McCown.

If Pennington sucks, then McCown sucks with extra MSG. Coming into Miami, McCown had the experience of a journeyman QB. So it seemed natural for him to be the bridge to the future. Sadly, he also apparently has the IQ of a shoe. Also, McCown is also not a very good quarterback. He stumbles around in the pocket like a moose that's been shot with a tranquilizer dart. He also tends to panic when the pressure is on, causing him to just heave the football like it's one of those ACME cannonball bombs in the old Looney Tunes cartoons. This was the guy slated to teach The Robot the ropes of NFL stardom.

Had Pennington been available before we signed McCown, then I think I wouldn't have been as angry if we had signed him then. Sure he's 32 and damaged goods. Sure he has the arm strength of a baby spider monkey. But he's exactly what this team needs right now, I think. A guy who knows how to move an offense, and a guy who seems to have no ego whatsoever. He seems to relish the mentor role and he seems like he's not a dick, which is always good. Plus, my Mom thinks he's just too adorable. So there's that. Yes, Chad Pennington will do just fine.

That is, until he gets sacked in the first game of the season and then has to miss 6-to-8 weeks.

Until then, I approve of Chad Pennington.

Ah, but what about Mr. T. you ask?

Well then there you go.

-The DUDE