What Is Fins Nation?
Fins Nation is a blog about the Miami Dolphins, with dick jokes. We do commentary on what the Dolphins are doing on and off the field with some in-depth analysis and opinion. Whatever the hell that might mean. We also post the occasional boobies pic, just to pass the time. Also, we tend to use a shitload of profanity throughout our site. So if that kind of thing offends you, you should probably just look elsewhere for your Dolphins news. Also, you should just use the internet to watch this over and over again because you're probably a middle-aged soccer mom. Or a fucking pussy.
Commenting Rules
We welcome comments here. We welcome all kinds of opinions. Just remember these simple rules-of-thumb when commenting:
1. Don’t be a douchebag.
2. Don’t be a troll (this means you, cocksucker Jets fan!)
3. Make an effort to be funny once in a while.
4. Try to be football savvy.
5. Hot girls who comment here get free shit.
See? Simple. Follow these 5 rules-of-thumb and we won’t have to take you into the backroom and have your hand smashed with a hammer like that dude who tried to cheat Robert De Niro in the movie Casino. Remember that scene? That was awesome.
Who Is The Dude?
This blog is authored and edited by Chris Joseph (aka The Dude). Chris Joseph writes about Miami sports for the Miami New Times. He’s also written for Mondesishouse.com, and some of his crap has been featured on Deadspin.com. He also wrote for the now defunct FantasyFootballExaminer.com (not his fault it’s defunct). He is a life-long Dolphins fan. He has Dolphins curtains lining his office window. He has Dolphins paraphernalia filling his closet. He once turned down a date with a marginally hot girl because she had tickets to a show that was playing at the same time the Dolphins were facing the Jets. He drinks his coffee out of a Dolphins mug. He has a man-crush on Dan Marino.
Who is DRK?
DRK is Roger Paul. DRK is short for Dat Roro Kid. Roger, or DRK, is the official correspondent and associate editor of FN. That's right, it takes two dickbags to produce this shit. DRK tans well, drinks better, and, according to his own self-evaluation, fucks awesome. DRK absolutely lives for your Miami Dolphins. He experiences boundless glee when they win and irrevocable sadness when they lose. DRK believes in running the fucking ball when you have a good running back and a decent offensive line. He also believes in developing an attitude and utilizing the talents of your players to make up the identity of your team. Unlike, you know, Dave Wannstedt, Nick Saban and Cam Cameron.
So now that we've gotten the introductions out of the way, sit back, relax and enjoy the crazy.
And ... Let's Go Fins!!
.
.
.
.
Dedication:
This blog is lovingly dedicated to and inspired by my heroes, Dan Marino and Louis CK. Two guys who have nothing in common whatsoever except that they each warm my cockles with equal parts fondness and affection. Hey, some guys have Martin Luther King Jr. or JFK as their heroes. Pfft. Me? I have the guy who threw a football better than anyone else ever in the history of all things and a guy who tells dick jokes. We all have our standards.
-The DUDE
