For some reason, The Palm Beach Post interviewed former Dolphins kicker Olindo Mare. I guess maybe because it was such a slow news day for the Fins yesterday. You gotta fill your pages with something, right?
And what piece of significant information did I acquire from this column? Well, for one, that Olindo Mare remains an excuse-making douchebag.
"I was happy in Miami; I was born and raised there," Mare said, "but right now I would not want to be down there."
The biggest reason he's so happy he's no longer a Dolphin: the infield dirt at Dolphin Stadium.
"It's not my problem anymore," he said. "We've had the Marlins go to the World Series twice and been on that stuff in October and November. To stick up for Feely, even though he took my job, it's not an easy place to kick."
He then slammed the Fins offense:
"I don't know how many more extra points the Saints will kick than the Dolphins, but I bet it will be at least 20. It's going to be a big deal for me. It's not like I'm out to show anybody, but I'm going to have a really big year.
"The more you get out there, the more you're into the offense. It's better than kicking a 55-yarder at halftime and then you don't kick again until the fourth quarter. You can't get into a rhythm like that."
So Mare not only continues to blame the infield dirt for his sucktitude but he's already making excuses for Jay Feeley. He also blames the lack of movement from the offense as a reason why he couldn't be consistent. And while he has a point when comparing the Saints offense to the Dolphins, it's still a shitty thing to do. Especially when you've sucked so consistently as he has.
Last year, Mare made a career-low 72.2 percent of his field-goal attempts. He went 1-for-3 in New England and 1-for-2 at the NY Jets, including an attempt from beyond 50 yards in each game. Over the last two seasons, Mare was 5-for-10 in divisional road games and 14-for-20 in all outdoor road games. So you see, Olindo, it wasn't the offense. It wasn't the infield. It wasn't the grass. It wasn't the weather. It was you. You're the reason you suck. Not only did you suck, but you saved your suckiest for when we needed you to come through the most.
Asked what he thinks about all this, Cam Cameron responded pretty much as I imagine Clint Eastwood would:
"We don't need a South Florida kicker. We need a Northeast kicker who can kick in South Florida - a guy who can kick on dirt, kick on grass, kick in New York."
He then flew to Louisiana, went into the Superdome and punched Olindo Mare in the balls. Because he's Cam Cameron, son. And that'll learn ya.