Jason Taylor tells USA Today that he has been taking a piss for the NFL with a lot more frequency ever since he spoke out publicly about Shawne Merriman's facination with roids and roids related products & goods.
"Since I made those comments, I've been tested more than ever," says Taylor, the reigning defensive player of the year. "It's supposed to be random, but I guess that computer has a star on it, next to my name. I guess they want to make sure I practice what I preach."
But, says JT, he don't mind.
"There's a need to keep the game clean and also to protect people's health," Taylor said. "And at the end of the day, it's against the law."
The NFL says players are subject to up to six random tests during the off-season, even if they have no prior drug history. Also, 10 players from each team are randomly chosen for testing every week during the regular season and the post-season.
JT was tested four times during the 2007 off-season. That's a shit load of Jason Taylor piss.
The NFL is now considering testing for HGH starting next year, which would be done through taking blood samples.
His biggest complaint from this:
Says Taylor, "I hate needles."
Pussy.
"A performance-enhancing drug is, obviously, what it is. You enhance your performance by doing that. You fail that test, I think it's not right. It's against the rules and ultimately I think it's sending the wrong message to the youth in America and the people who look at this game not only as entertainment but also to learn lessons from it."
So what can we take from all this? What can the children of America learn? I dunno. Drugs are bad, I guess. I can tell you I learned that all the roids in the world and all the seizure dances on the planet won't make you as good a football player as Jason Taylor. Wanna know how to sack Tom Brady? Be like JT. Wanna know how to get back acne, get an unnaturally large head and have your balls shrivel up like prunes? You know what to do. Otherwise, be like JT and get all your talent from eating a healthy diet of red meat, wood chips, rusty nails and human flesh. And drink lots and lots of water. And eat a lot of asparagus too, kids. The NFL lab guys love that. So be cool stay in school and be like JT.
The point of this post? To get some good karma going for JT and the boys this week since they're likely going to be without Zach. The point of the picture on this post? Apparently, FN has a lot more female readers than we anticipated or even knew about. Bottom line: Email requests from the ladies+the dude loving the ladies=picture of half naked Jason Taylor sitting on the beach with jeans on. In a totally natural pose, by the way.
