Well, here it is. Roro Kid hit Giants Stadium this past Sunday for the Jets-Dolphins debacle and filed this special on-location FN report (with pics and jokes!). Enjoy:
Wow.
I sometimes drunkenly boast to my friends that I’m likely the only person they’ve ever met that has thrown a football to a real life dolphin. Not Mandich or Marino, but some distant relative of Snowflake (or at least I like to pretend) during a trip to the Miami Seaquarium when I was just about 9 years old. That dolphin caught nearly every goddamn pass I threw at that crazy fucker. It was uncanny and probably one of the more impressive things I’d seen up until that point in time. That kinda sealed the whole ‘which-NFL-team-should-I-root-for’ question.
This season I’m kinda hoping for some Quantum Leap-ish ability to go back in time and steal that goddamn football from myself and punt it as far as I can. I can’t tell you how fuckin’ SICK I felt watching that game from the rather sweet seats we’ve sat in these past two seasons via some very nice Jets fans (they still make us pay a hefty monetary and psychological ransom for this privilege, natch). In fact, I’ll confess that I did something I have NEVER done before: I left early. With a 6am wake up call for an equity research conference the next morning, I figured I’d had enough. Again, I have never done this. Not even during the most boring Marlins loss so you can imagine how bad this must have been to watch. I felt like ESPN.com’s Gregg Easterbrook writing ‘Game Over’ in his cocky, pretentious notebook over and over and over again ad nauseum the second CHAD FUCKING PENNINGTON managed to out-scramble our supposedly stout defense and score a RUSHING touchdown. That was it for me. I got up, thanked the Jets boys that own the tickets (his family’s had them since they were at Shea), shook their hands and got the fuck out of there. Terrible.
On to the pics:
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