Fins Nation: A Miami Dolphins Blog With Dick Jokes

The Homeless Genius Likes Black Thunder

So far this season, Bill Belichick has had to game-plan against great players like LaDainian Tomlinson, Terrell Owens, Chad Johnson, and Tony Romo. But he says the one guy he's most impressed with so far is Ronnie Brown.

"Best player I've seen this year offensively," said Belichick.

"He's done a good job in the running game of being patient, of taking the holes that are there," Belichick said. "He runs hard. He's hard to tackle. ... Physically, he's a strong player."

Wow. Belichick said all that about Ronnie Brown? Cool!

Although when he said it, it sounded like, "Mumblemumblemumblemumblemumblemumblemumble. Mumblemumblemumblemumble. ... Mumble, mumblemumblemumble."

So we'll just have to take the Palm Beach Post's word for it.

And Ronnie's reaction?

It's all good, baby.

"Obviously, the guys he has on his team and their play-making abilities and some of the people they face ... that's a great compliment," Brown said.

So very cool, baby.

Ronnie Brown is another 100 yard game from tying the all-time franchise mark for most consecutive games with 100 yards rushing. It would be fantastic if he not only ties the record, but breaks it. Even better if he did it against the Patriots. You know. Because they're mega-douchebags, all of 'em.

It doesn't take a genius to see that Ronnie Brown is flat out kicking ass in every direction this season. He seems to be the only Dolphin who plays the game of football like he's got a pair these days. And he's trucking over fools like they were made of raw meat and he, a meat grinder. Because that's what Ronnie Brown does. And that's what he turns opposing defensive players into. Minced meat.

The Dolphins are going to need a shit load of breaks on Sunday against New England if they're going to pull off the upset of the century. So, offensively, it starts and ends with Ronnie Brown. Cam needs to not deviate from what's been working so far for this offense lately. He needs to ride Ronnie all day long. Ride him like a wild horse. Not literally, of course. That would be creepy.

But ride him! Because Ronnie Brown is the awesomeness. Even a smarmy football genius like Bill Belichick knows this.

Yes, Bill, Ronnie Brown is the shit.

Recognize.

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OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go, Episode 1

The Astonishing Tales of the OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go!

This week's action packed episode takes place just as General Manager Randy Mueller, aka The Muel, uses his mutant mind powers of making friends, influencing people and thinking outside the box, to transform Chris Chambers, aka Butters, from a Dolphin into a Lightning Bolt!

He utters the magic words!

And poof!

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But some Dolphins fans are not happy with The Muel. In fact, some have gotten down right pissy about it. They respond to Butters' trade with an unreasonable knee-jerk reaction common to certain Dolphins fans in lean times like these. From California, to Denver, to Miami, to Little China, Dolphins fans everywhere are unhappy.

Some express rage.

Others, derision.

-

Meanwhile, back at the Bubble of Justice ... Fearless Leader head coach Cam Cameron has problems of his own. As he tries to urge the local press and angry fans to remain calm, his talking penis attempts -- once again -- to intervene.

 

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Sadly, dear readers, it would seem that the only hope for the OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go still remains with Black Thunder! Lover of Women, Champion of Ass Kickery, and Dominator of Defensive Linemen everywhere! At least for this season ...

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... Meanwhile, seeing how his fellow OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go members struggle to fight off the Evil that attacks them every Sunday, a mild mannered clipboard holder ponders his own future as a super hero.

To Be Continued in the next exciting chapter of --- OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go ...

OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go, Episode 1

The Astonishing Tales of the OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go!

This week's action packed episode takes place just as General Manager Randy Mueller, aka The Muel, uses his mutant mind powers of making friends, influencing people and thinking outside the box, to transform Chris Chambers, aka Butters, from a Dolphin into a Lightning Bolt!

He utters the magic words!

And poof!

-

But some Dolphins fans are not happy with The Muel. In fact, some have gotten down right pissy about it. They respond to Butters' trade with an unreasonable knee-jerk reaction common to certain Dolphins fans in lean times like these. From California, to Denver, to Miami, to Little China, Dolphins fans everywhere are unhappy.

Some express rage.

Others, derision.

-

Meanwhile, back at the Bubble of Justice ... Fearless Leader head coach Cam Cameron has problems of his own. As he tries to urge the local press and angry fans to remain calm, his talking penis attempts -- once again -- to intervene.

 

-

Sadly, dear readers, it would seem that the only hope for the OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go still remains with Black Thunder! Lover of Women, Champion of Ass Kickery, and Dominator of Defensive Linemen everywhere! At least for this season ...

-

... Meanwhile, seeing how his fellow OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go members struggle to fight off the Evil that attacks them every Sunday, a mild mannered clipboard holder ponders his own future as a super hero.

To Be Continued in the next exciting chapter of --- OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go ...

Tom Brady is Going To Throw 27 Touchdowns This Sunday

Well it looks like Cam Cameron and Randy Mueller have thrown their hands in the air and exclaimed, "Fuck it!"

Because they were busy trimming the roster even after trading away Chris Chambers to the Bolts.

Remember how fired up and giddy we all were when they signed Donovan Darius? Well, let's all pretend that it didn't happen. Because he's been cut.

Darius missed the Houston game with an apparent calf injury, and last week was on the injury report with the flu. Sounds like Darius was just hanging around for the pay check and the free pre-game coffee and danishes in the locker room, but didn't want to put any work in.

So now we are down to Renaldo Hill, Cameron "Toast McGee" Worrell, Courtney Bryan and Jason "Bustaroo!" Allen at safety.

Holy. And shit. Tom Brady and Randy Moss are going to sodomize us this weekend.

The Dolphins also placed defensive tackle Chase Page on IR, ending his season. Who is Chase Page, you ask? Beats the shit outta me, but he's done for the season.

Tom Brady is Going To Throw 27 Touchdowns This Sunday

Well it looks like Cam Cameron and Randy Mueller have thrown their hands in the air and exclaimed, "Fuck it!"

Because they were busy trimming the roster even after trading away Chris Chambers to the Bolts.

Remember how fired up and giddy we all were when they signed Donovan Darius? Well, let's all pretend that it didn't happen. Because he's been cut.

Darius missed the Houston game with an apparent calf injury, and last week was on the injury report with the flu. Sounds like Darius was just hanging around for the pay check and the free pre-game coffee and danishes in the locker room, but didn't want to put any work in.

So now we are down to Renaldo Hill, Cameron "Toast McGee" Worrell, Courtney Bryan and Jason "Bustaroo!" Allen at safety.

Holy. And shit. Tom Brady and Randy Moss are going to sodomize us this weekend.

The Dolphins also placed defensive tackle Chase Page on IR, ending his season. Who is Chase Page, you ask? Beats the shit outta me, but he's done for the season.

CHRIS CHAMBERS TRADED TO THE CHARGERS

BREAKING NEWS: Chris Chambers has been traded to the San Diego Chargers for a 2nd round pick!

More as I get it ...

UPDATE: Here's what The Muel had to say in a press release:

"This trade will give some of our younger players at that position, such as Ted Ginn and Derek Hagan, more of an opportunity this year," Dolphins general manager Randy Mueller said in a statement. "Chris did everything we asked of him and represented this organization in a first-class manner. We wish him and his family the best of luck in San Diego."

So, as some of you have already noted, the Ted Ginn era has officially-officially begun. (The Derek Hagan era too! yipes.)

Anyway, my thoughts on this: I have to say, I like it. Some might agree with me. Some might be outraged at it. But I think there may not have been a better time to get an extra pick for an under achieving guy like Chambers while his value was still relatively high. At 0-6 and counting, we simply need more draft picks. We just do. I've never been crazy about Chambers and even predicted that this would be his last season as a Dolphin. Here's what I said about Chambers in my 2007 Pre-Season predictions:

"I don�t see Chambers returning to his 2005 form ever again. He�s not that kind of receiver. Hell, if you believe what NFL Network�s Adam Schefter says, Cam Cameron and Randy Mueller don�t think he�s that kind of receiver. Either way, drink up Chris Chambers and enjoy him as much as you can this season. Because it�s his last as a Dolphin."

So, yea, I like the trade. It'll force Ginn to start learning the position a lot faster and it shows me that the FO is finally coming out and agreeing with the rest of us that this is, in fact, a re-building season.

Now start The Mormon already.

Update 2: By far the best take I've read so far on this trade (the best take because, naturally, I agree 100%).

CHRIS CHAMBERS TRADED TO THE CHARGERS

BREAKING NEWS: Chris Chambers has been traded to the San Diego Chargers for a 2nd round pick!

More as I get it ...

UPDATE: Here's what The Muel had to say in a press release:

"This trade will give some of our younger players at that position, such as Ted Ginn and Derek Hagan, more of an opportunity this year," Dolphins general manager Randy Mueller said in a statement. "Chris did everything we asked of him and represented this organization in a first-class manner. We wish him and his family the best of luck in San Diego."

So, as some of you have already noted, the Ted Ginn era has officially-officially begun. (The Derek Hagan era too! yipes.)

Anyway, my thoughts on this: I have to say, I like it. Some might agree with me. Some might be outraged at it. But I think there may not have been a better time to get an extra pick for an under achieving guy like Chambers while his value was still relatively high. At 0-6 and counting, we simply need more draft picks. We just do. I've never been crazy about Chambers and even predicted that this would be his last season as a Dolphin. Here's what I said about Chambers in my 2007 Pre-Season predictions:

"I don’t see Chambers returning to his 2005 form ever again. He’s not that kind of receiver. Hell, if you believe what NFL Network’s Adam Schefter says, Cam Cameron and Randy Mueller don’t think he’s that kind of receiver. Either way, drink up Chris Chambers and enjoy him as much as you can this season. Because it’s his last as a Dolphin."

So, yea, I like the trade. It'll force Ginn to start learning the position a lot faster and it shows me that the FO is finally coming out and agreeing with the rest of us that this is, in fact, a re-building season.

Now start The Mormon already.

Update 2: By far the best take I've read so far on this trade (the best take because, naturally, I agree 100%).

Pam and Heather....

Because we're playing the Patriots this week. And they're going to beat the everliving shit out of us.

Enjoy!

Pam and Heather....

Because we're playing the Patriots this week. And they're going to beat the everliving shit out of us.

Enjoy!

Trent Green is Going to Die

Have you ever had your brain smash into your skull so hard that it causes your cerebrospinal protective sack to shudder violently like a snow globe that has been thrown against a wall, causing vomiting, confusion and visual disorder while your central nervous system completely shuts down as your muscles, nerves and mind all slip into darkness for five or more minutes?

Well Trent Green has! Twice!

And he wants to do it all over again!

This season has been one gigantic shit storm with no relief in sight. Just one of those seasons that actually makes you hate the game of football. So how do you suppose we top what is going to go down as the absolute gut-churning, rage inducing, kick-me-in-the-balls-until-I-puke worst season in franchise history?

Well I suppose by having one of your players meet his demise on the field during a game. That would put the cherry right on top of this diarrhea cake of a season now, wouldn't it?