We start the day with some news happening outside of Fins Nation. Former Dolphins coach -- but forever the holder of the lifetime achievement award for being a dick -- Nick Saban compared his Alabama team’s plight to 9/11:
"Changes in history usually occur after some kind of catastrophic event," Saban said during the opening remarks of his weekly news conference. "It may be 9-11, which sort of changed the spirit of America relative to catastrophic events. Pearl Harbor kind of got us ready for World War II, or whatever, and that was a catastrophic event."
Pearl Harbor did kind of, sort of, get us ready for World War II. Or whatever. Who the fuck knows? Does it really matter? That shit is ancient history. All those people who died in Pearl Harbor were old anyway. I seen the pictures.
And God knows 9/11 changed my spirit relative to catastrophic events. Like every time I burn my tongue when I bring my coffee up to my mouth too fast. I don’t get upset like I used to. I just blow into the cup and try again. Crisis averted. Whew. Thanks 9/11!
Yea, Nick Saban is still a fucking douchebag relative to being a goddamed shitheel. He and his $4 million a year contract (highest paid fucker in Division I-A) just got his Little Debbie snack cakes shoved up his ass by Louisiana Monroe. Or was it ITT Tech? Some might say the distress of such an embarrassing loss, coupled by the team's current three-game losing streak, is the reason why he came out and made such insensitive remarks. But, no. He made those remarks because he’s an asshole.
Oh, and by the way Nick, we’re still waiting for changes to occur down here after the catastrophe known as your tenure as our head coach.
