I’m still riding this rare euphoric wave of having not one, but two, good pieces of Dolphins news dropped on us in one day. Jesus, it’s been a while since we had any kind of good news round these parts. In the back of my mind, I’m still waiting for the pile of shit to drop in my soup with the usual cursed nonsense we get from this team like, I don’t know, Ted Ginn’s knee just exploded for no reason whatsoever or Cam Cameron decided to trade Jason Taylor to Minnesota for Koy Detmer and a copy of ABBA’s Greatest Hits Live double CD set or some shit. Something to break us all out of this rare happy stupor and back into full-blown “Ah fuck! Motherfucker!” mode we Dolphins fans are all accustomed to.
But I’m gonna ride this thing until it runs into the proverbial brick wall. Because it’s all I got to cling to. John Beck is finally getting the start and should start the rest of the way. This is very good. Also very good, Ricky Williams’ reinstatement. And as he meets with Cam today, I’m hoping the two parties can come to an agreement and that Ricky will once again don the Aqua and Orange and help us ride out the rest of this godforsaken season.
Look, I know there are still a lot of you out there who would like to stick Ricky’s nuts in a waffle iron for an hour or two. He's a selfish double-crosser. He did a bad thing. He betrayed and murdered your father. He’s more machine now, than man. Twisted and evil. I understand that. But let’s face it. We need Ricky back in the worst way. More than that, John Beck could really use a player like Ricky. As The Mormon gets thrown to the wolves, he’s gonna need all the help he can get. And Ricky provides that help. Sure, he can always backslide to his old ways and send his career up in smoke (see what I did there? I made a subtle reference to Ricky’s pot smoking. Aren’t I funny and clever?). But so what? It would be his loss. What do we have to lose? We’re 0-9, man. We need help. John Beck needs help. Plus, I need a reason to keep watching this shit storm of a team.
Here are some stats. And you know I love me some stats. I love stats the way Baltimore Orioles first baseman Aubrey Huff loves porn!
2002 was the best year of Williams’ career as he ended the season with 2,216 all-purpose yards. He averaged 4.8 yards per carry – more than his career average of 4.0. In 2003, Williams rushed for 1,372 yards, averaged 3.5 yards per carry. 2005, after serving a four game suspension during his first “come-back” with the team, Williams ended the season with 743 rushing yards, sharing the load with Ronnie Brown. This season, he’d be playing behind a much improved offensive line that has featured a 100+ yard runner in seven straight games.
That’s a spicy meat-a-balls!
So, I say let’s smoke the peace pipe with Ricky (see! I did it again! Oh these marijuana jokes never get old) and be friends again. We just might win a game or two. Or we may not win any games at all. But we’ll at least be the Super Bowl champions of peace, love and harmony. And isn’t that what’s it’s all about anyway? So, as Nancy Reagan taught us all in that one episode of Diff'rent Strokes when Dudley got all strung up on some high end, pure Columbian Grade A shit: "Say Yes to Ricky!" Or... something to that affect.
Now come read my piece on why the Fins should welcome Ricky back over at The Phish Tank (and leave a comment or two). With apologies to Big Daddy Drew, I reference Ricky as the Aqua Judas in the column. I also got a serious writer vibe going on there too. Very sexy. It’s all good, baby. Swing on by....
