Hey there Big Tuna. Caught you watching the game from a luxury box today. Lookin good in your school bus yellow, blue striped Izod! Did you have a big pretzel? For my money, the big pretzel is the best thing you can have at Dolphin Stadium. It's toasty, it's salty (or cinnamony), it's filling and it's big. And it goes down nice with a Budweiser or Bud Light draft. Anything else is too expensive with very little filling. The wings? The fries? The pizza? Pfft. No thanks. Unless you're the kind of person that likes to fart rocks for the rest of the afternoon. Big pretzel, Bill. That's the way to go. Big pretzel.
Anyway, I also wanted to ask if you caught a glimpse of Chad Johnson (pictured above) today? He finished the afternoon with 131 yards and 2 touchdowns. He hails from down here. Went to North Miami Beach Senior. And cheered for the Miami Dolphins. He's also pretty good. In case you haven't noticed, we're seriously depleted in the 'pretty good' department down here. Well, Chad has made no secret that he'd like to be a Dolphin. And that he would welcome a trade. Oh ... but ... you did say that you don't want any "hoodlums or thugs or problem children" down here. And that you're big on character guys.
Never mind, then. I guess I can see where you're coming from with that. I can see why you didn't want Terrel Owens when you were with Dallas last season. He's just like Randy Moss. And we can see what kind of shenanigans those two rabble-rousers have wrought down upon their respective teams this year. Tomfoolery!
Yea, so I guess we're fine with Ted Ginn, Justin Peele, Derek Hagan and Marty Booker. So ignore everything I just said. Except the part about the big pretzel. Trust me on that one.
A cold Coors Light (and a big pretzel!) to commenter Jerry O for the tip.
