Fins Nation: A Miami Dolphins Blog With Dick Jokes

OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go, Episode 2

The Astonishing Tales of the OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go!

When we last left our mighty heroes, they were getting their asses kicked from New York to London, England! Then, our fearless hero Black Thunder went down and was lost for the year

His young ward, The Mormon, still green and inexperienced, seemed to find being a super hero a bit overwhelming and not the glamorous gig he thought it would be.

Meanwhile.... Back in London....

 

But all was not lost, as the Real JT was back at home, blocking field goal attempts and single-handedly saving the OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force from certain destruction, with the use of his own brand of self-motivation he learned from hours of studying the I Can Haz Cheeseburger? website back at the Bubble of Justice.

Still, all was not well as Matt Stover attempted another field goal, this time in overtime. All Commander Cam Cameron could do was watch. And heed the warnings of his penis.

But alas, a new hero arose. An Aztec Warrior straight from the battlefields of Mexico! The Golden God: Greg Camarillo!!!!

The Mexican Warrior was given a hero's welcome as his teammates mobbed him at the goal line after the victory was sealed!

And so Commander Cam Cameron thanked his opponent and expressed wonderment and awe at his enemy's coaching abilities...

...while the women bathed in a gratuitous victory shower!

To Be Continued in the next exciting chapter of --- OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go ...

OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go, Episode 2

The Astonishing Tales of the OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go!

When we last left our mighty heroes, they were getting their asses kicked from New York to London, England! Then, our fearless hero Black Thunder went down and was lost for the year…

…his young ward, The Mormon, still green and inexperienced, seemed to find being a super hero a bit overwhelming and not the glamorous gig he thought it would be.

Meanwhile…. Back in London….

 

But all was not lost, as the Real JT was back at home, blocking field goal attempts and single-handedly saving the OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force from certain destruction, with the use of his own brand of self-motivation he learned from hours of studying the I Can Haz Cheeseburger? website back at the Bubble of Justice.

Still, all was not well as Matt Stover attempted another field goal, this time in overtime. All Commander Cam Cameron could do was watch…. And heed the warnings of his penis….

But alas, a new hero arose. An Aztec Warrior straight from the battlefields of Mexico! The Golden God: Greg Camarillo!!!!

The Mexican Warrior was given a hero’s welcome as his teammates mobbed him at the goal line after the victory was sealed!

And so Commander Cam Cameron thanked his opponent and expressed wonderment and awe at his enemy’s coaching abilities...

...while the women bathed in a gratuitous victory shower!

To Be Continued in the next exciting chapter of --- OMG Dolphins! Super Hero Team Force Go ...

JT Makes The Pro Bowl

You see this man? He has balls of steel. Sure he's had an up and down season. But when the steelness of his balls kick in, he can dominate and win games all by himself. So perhaps they just needed a little oiling up. Witness the field goal block against the Ravens Sunday (above). JT doesn't block that kick, we're walking around our apartment in our boxers with a noose tied around our neck and bloodshot eyes from all the Jack that needed consuming to numb the pain. But that is not the case. JT blocked the kick, the Fins ended up winning the game. All is right in the Universe.

So for his reward, JT is going back to the Pro Bowl! It's his and his balls' sixth trip to Hawaii (2000, 02, 04, 05, 06, 07). Woot!

Also, as a side note: Remember the fantasy league SporTech's JD invited some of us to join? Remember all the flak I took for drafting Jason Taylor too high? How I was gay for Jason Taylor? How I had a man-crush on Jason Taylor? How I dreamed about Jason Taylor loofahing my back in the shower?  Yea... Well, his 19 points over the weekend helped me kick some serious dorky ass and catapulted me into the SporTech Fantasy League Super Bowl!!!

Suck on that naysayers! Doom indeed!

So, to re-cap -- Jason Taylor: Balls of steel. Handsomest man I've ever laid my eyes on.

JT Makes The Pro Bowl

You see this man? He has balls of steel. Sure he's had an up and down season. But when the steelness of his balls kick in, he can dominate and win games all by himself. So perhaps they just needed a little oiling up. Witness the field goal block against the Ravens Sunday (above). JT doesn't block that kick, we're walking around our apartment in our boxers with a noose tied around our neck and bloodshot eyes from all the Jack that needed consuming to numb the pain. But that is not the case. JT blocked the kick, the Fins ended up winning the game. All is right in the Universe.

So for his reward, JT is going back to the Pro Bowl! It's his and his balls' sixth trip to Hawaii (2000, 02, 04, 05, 06, 07). Woot!

Also, as a side note: Remember the fantasy league SporTech's JD invited some of us to join? Remember all the flak I took for drafting Jason Taylor too high? How I was gay for Jason Taylor? How I had a man-crush on Jason Taylor? How I dreamed about Jason Taylor loofahing my back in the shower?  Yea... Well, his 19 points over the weekend helped me kick some serious dorky ass and catapulted me into the SporTech Fantasy League Super Bowl!!!

Suck on that naysayers! Doom indeed!

So, to re-cap -- Jason Taylor: Balls of steel. Handsomest man I've ever laid my eyes on.

"Squeeze my Lemon til the juice runs down my leg!"

Before we get back to the Greg Camarillo Pants Party (yea, we�re gonna milk this shit for all it�s worth), I need to pass along some news items. Because as a blogger, I am bound by law to do this every now and then. Otherwise, it�s a trial by a Tribunal of Bloggers with the possibility of facing a punishment of having to watch an endless loop of a Dane Cook performance for 52 straight hours Clockwork Orange style. So, here we go....

*I failed to mention this but we had a huge response from you people when Ted Ginn Jr. was up for the Diet Pepsi Rookie of the week back in November. I told you to vote. You did. Within the hour, he shot up the ranks and took that bitch. True story. Sorry I forgot to give you guys props and a shout out and all the other hipster things you say to someone when they have achieved some moderate success. I know. Fuck me. My bad. So, let�s do it again! Cleo Lemon is up for FedEx player of the week. He�s up against some stiff competition. And most of you like this guy about as much as rectal exam sans lubricants, so I�m doubting we�ll get the same response as we did with Teddy. But c�mon. I know he�s a shitty career backup quarterback who directs his passes like he�s throwing a baby. But still, he did lead us out of the void. So vote for him. Also, Cam is up for Motorola Coach of the Week. But I'm voting for Brian Billick.

*Despite all his denials, the Wayne Huizenga selling the Dolphins rumors refuse to die. Some say he wants out of the misery, others say it�s about the taxes, still others have said he values what the community thinks of him and doesn�t want to be known as the guy who killed the Dolphins. My thoughts on Huizenga: He�s a good owner. He just has had some really shitty luck while running this team. In a nutshell, he�s pretty much given us everything we�ve asked for within his power. He�s pretty much Robert Kraft but without the shitload of luck that has been dumped on that assbag's pasty white lap over the last few years. Jesus I fucking hate that fat fuck. So, let me know your thoughts. Should Wayne sell? Do you like Wayne? No? Why you no like Wayne?

*It looks like we may have lost Channing Crowder for the year.

And that�s enough of the seriousness around here. Let�s get back to the dick jokes and calling people douchebags�.

So ... Cash Warren. What a douchebag!

"Squeeze my Lemon til the juice runs down my leg!"

Before we get back to the Greg Camarillo Pants Party (yea, we’re gonna milk this shit for all it’s worth), I need to pass along some news items. Because as a blogger, I am bound by law to do this every now and then. Otherwise, it’s a trial by a Tribunal of Bloggers with the possibility of facing a punishment of having to watch an endless loop of a Dane Cook performance for 52 straight hours Clockwork Orange style. So, here we go....

*I failed to mention this but we had a huge response from you people when Ted Ginn Jr. was up for the Diet Pepsi Rookie of the week back in November. I told you to vote. You did. Within the hour, he shot up the ranks and took that bitch. True story. Sorry I forgot to give you guys props and a shout out and all the other hipster things you say to someone when they have achieved some moderate success. I know. Fuck me. My bad. So, let’s do it again! Cleo Lemon is up for FedEx player of the week. He’s up against some stiff competition. And most of you like this guy about as much as rectal exam sans lubricants, so I’m doubting we’ll get the same response as we did with Teddy. But c’mon. I know he’s a shitty career backup quarterback who directs his passes like he’s throwing a baby. But still, he did lead us out of the void. So vote for him. Also, Cam is up for Motorola Coach of the Week. But I'm voting for Brian Billick.

*Despite all his denials, the Wayne Huizenga selling the Dolphins rumors refuse to die. Some say he wants out of the misery, others say it’s about the taxes, still others have said he values what the community thinks of him and doesn’t want to be known as the guy who killed the Dolphins. My thoughts on Huizenga: He’s a good owner. He just has had some really shitty luck while running this team. In a nutshell, he’s pretty much given us everything we’ve asked for within his power. He’s pretty much Robert Kraft but without the shitload of luck that has been dumped on that assbag's pasty white lap over the last few years. Jesus I fucking hate that fat fuck. So, let me know your thoughts. Should Wayne sell? Do you like Wayne? No? Why you no like Wayne?

*It looks like we may have lost Channing Crowder for the year.

And that’s enough of the seriousness around here. Let’s get back to the dick jokes and calling people douchebags….

So ... Cash Warren. What a douchebag!

The '72 Dolphins Came Along, And They Brought Motivation With Them

"We're the 1972 Miami Dolphins! Hurumph! Hurumph! Hurumph!"

Lost in all the Greg Camarillo: Golden God! madness yesterday was the fact that the living members of the 1972 Dolphins were at the game Sunday. The team was honored at halftime and had been hanging around Dolphins facilities all week, watching practices and telling reporters, trainers, the audio/video guys, the guy who's responsible for draining the jelly out of all dozen of Keith Traylor's jelly-donuts, and anybody else who�d listen, that Wayne Huizenga shouldn�t sell the team. Some have credited their presence with the big win over Baltimore. But I think the Fins� finally winning a game had less to do with Perfect Season mystique and more to do with creepy old dudes popping up in the middle of a two-minute drill session, annoying the shit out of the players and babbling endlessly about why Mr. Huizenger is such a terrific guy. This is where the motivation came from. What current player wanted to hear a bunch of pruney old douchebags ceaselessly reminding them what a shitty team they were and that the �72 team could beat them if they played right now? Jason Taylor went so far as to promise Coach Shula that they would beat Baltimore.

"Jason Taylor promised legendary coach Don Shula that Sunday would be the day the Dolphins avoided a different kind of milestone than the one the undefeated 1972 Dolphins celebrated at halftime."

Sounds great on paper when you read it. But I think JT�s tone was probably more like yours and mine when our grandmother bitches at us about not calling her enough.

I�m sure there were plenty of moments during the past week when Dick Anderson would appear out of nowhere and just start berating Lance Schulters for no specific reason and calling him a �buttercup� and a �daffodil.� And you gotta love that shit. How can you not? Those �72 guys are old school. The kind of guys that used to train with Charles Atlas and box kangaroos. Anderson is like 108 years old. But I bet he can still lift a sack of potatoes right over his head, just like in the old days.

Anyway, the '72 Dolphins are the tits.

The '72 Dolphins Came Along, And They Brought Motivation With Them

"We're the 1972 Miami Dolphins! Hurumph! Hurumph! Hurumph!"

Lost in all the Greg Camarillo: Golden God! madness yesterday was the fact that the living members of the 1972 Dolphins were at the game Sunday. The team was honored at halftime and had been hanging around Dolphins facilities all week, watching practices and telling reporters, trainers, the audio/video guys, the guy who's responsible for draining the jelly out of all dozen of Keith Traylor's jelly-donuts, and anybody else who’d listen, that Wayne Huizenga shouldn’t sell the team. Some have credited their presence with the big win over Baltimore. But I think the Fins’ finally winning a game had less to do with Perfect Season mystique and more to do with creepy old dudes popping up in the middle of a two-minute drill session, annoying the shit out of the players and babbling endlessly about why Mr. Huizenger is such a terrific guy. This is where the motivation came from. What current player wanted to hear a bunch of pruney old douchebags ceaselessly reminding them what a shitty team they were and that the ’72 team could beat them if they played right now? Jason Taylor went so far as to promise Coach Shula that they would beat Baltimore.

"Jason Taylor promised legendary coach Don Shula that Sunday would be the day the Dolphins avoided a different kind of milestone than the one the undefeated 1972 Dolphins celebrated at halftime."

Sounds great on paper when you read it. But I think JT’s tone was probably more like yours and mine when our grandmother bitches at us about not calling her enough.

I’m sure there were plenty of moments during the past week when Dick Anderson would appear out of nowhere and just start berating Lance Schulters for no specific reason and calling him a ‘buttercup’ and a ‘daffodil.’ And you gotta love that shit. How can you not? Those ’72 guys are old school. The kind of guys that used to train with Charles Atlas and box kangaroos. Anderson is like 108 years old. But I bet he can still lift a sack of potatoes right over his head, just like in the old days.

Anyway, the '72 Dolphins are the tits.

Say Hello To The Dudette

Still giddy from our first win....

Say Hellloooo to the Dudette!

The Dudette promised me that if the Dolphins won a game this year, she�d let me do The Voice again!

Helllloooo! La-la-la!!!!

Say Hello To The Dudette

Still giddy from our first win....

Say Hellloooo to the Dudette!

The Dudette promised me that if the Dolphins won a game this year, she’d let me do The Voice again!

Helllloooo! La-la-la!!!!