Sorry for the late post today. I was fixing my hair.
Contrary to a report by DallasCowboys.com yesterday, Todd Bowles will not be the Dolphins defensive coordinator. Instead he was named assistant head coach and coach of the secondary for the Fins.
Instead, it looks like Paul Pasqualoni will be the new DC. In case you haven’t heard, he used to be with the Cowboys. What does Pasqualoni bring to the table, aside from a pain in my ass when I try typing his name? He used to coach Syracuse. Apparently he sucked there. Ask Vman. He’s also from Connecticut. My brother lives there, so I'm qualified to say this: Connecticut is boring as balls. Seriously. If you've never been, it’s easy to duplicate the experience of being there. Just walk around a grocery store for an hour. Don’t shop. Just walk around. While you’re doing this, tie a plastic bag over your head. Ping! You’re in Connecticut!
Anyway, here’s Sparano’s coaching staff so far:
Paul Pasqualoni: Defensive Coordinator
Todd Bowles: Assistant Head Coach/Secondary
“Diamond” David Lee: QB Coach
James Saxon: RB Coach
*Karl Dorrell: WR Coach
Mike Maser: Offensive Line
Kacy Rodgers: Defensive Line
Evan Marcus: Strength & Conditioning
Fuck the news is slow.
*Update: Karl Dorrell has been named the Dolphins WR coach. Suck a bag of dicks, Bruins fan site commenters!