I may not have any NFL front-office experience, but Im guessing it might not be the best idea to bring back the guy with cat shit for brains that sucked before he got hurt.
I think Bill Parcells is fucking with us on this one. He has to be. I mean, is he actually using the same blueprint the previous regimes used? (The blueprint: a drawing of a screw next to a baseball)
Someone must've slipped some stupid pills into Bill's Big Gulp. Or perhaps Cam Cameron rubbed the office phone all over his body before he left it to Bill. Because stupid is a disease. And it's apparently contagious.
At this point, I think we should seriously start considering bringing in Tom Cruise. He's the only one who can help.
I may not have any NFL front-office experience, but I’m guessing it might not be the best idea to bring back the guy with cat shit for brains that sucked before he got hurt.
I think Bill Parcells is fucking with us on this one. He has to be. I mean, is he actually using the same blueprint the previous regimes used? (The blueprint: a drawing of a screw next to a baseball)
Someone must've slipped some stupid pills into Bill's Big Gulp. Or perhaps Cam Cameron rubbed the office phone all over his body before he left it to Bill. Because stupid is a disease. And it's apparently contagious.
At this point, I think we should seriously start considering bringing in Tom Cruise. He's the only one who can help.
Former Cowboys safety Charlie Waters says he likes Bill Parcells and thinks the Tuna will bring a winner to Miami. Waters, who was the Cowboys' radio analyst for Parcells last season in Dallas, played 13 years, appeared in five Super Bowls and was a three-time All-Pro NFL safety. So I guess that makes him qualified to make a completely unsystematic presumption about how Parcells will do down here. My qualifications? My balls and my keyboard. Woot!
Anyway, thats all I got today. Its MLK Day. And in honor of the great Martin Luther King Jr., I am now going to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day. Dr. King challenged the status quo with his hard work, selfless determination and tireless sacrifice. I am challenging the status quo by watching an all-day Monster Quest marathon on the History Channel.
Former Cowboys safety Charlie Waters says he likes Bill Parcells and thinks the Tuna will bring a winner to Miami. Waters, who was the Cowboys' radio analyst for Parcells’ last season in Dallas, played 13 years, appeared in five Super Bowls and was a three-time All-Pro NFL safety. So I guess that makes him qualified to make a completely unsystematic presumption about how Parcells will do down here. My qualifications? My balls and my keyboard. Woot!
Anyway, that’s all I got today. It’s MLK Day. And in honor of the great Martin Luther King Jr., I am now going to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day. Dr. King challenged the status quo with his hard work, selfless determination and tireless sacrifice. I am challenging the status quo by watching an all-day Monster Quest marathon on the History Channel.
Sorry for not posting anything yesterday. The reasons are four-fold:
1.) I was hungover all day recovering from the booze and the Foo Fighters concert the previous night. 2.) There's not a whole lot going on in Dolphins Nation. 3.) I was mourning the loss of the guy who invented the hula-hoop. You know. For kids. 4.) Mostly, I was hungover.
Anyway, there still isn't a lot going on. Unless you guys want to discuss our new offensive line coach. Yea. Didn't think so. Also, I see some of you have already started the draft talk, which is cool. But I'm just not ready yet. Perhaps when the season ends officially.
Anyway, here are some links to send you off into the weekend. Tomorrow is the Little Dude's birthday and the Dudette and I are putting together a party for him. Yup. A house full of screaming kids, their asshole parents and a bounce house. I asked the Dudette if she'd like to shove a railroad spike into my rectum while we're at it. Because it would completely bring this shit full circle. She declined.
So my weekend is set! Word to the wise, kids. If you don't want to be a Dad before you turn 30, either A.) ignore the hot girl B.) masturbate or C.) wear a condom (I'm Tom Brady! I'm Tom Brady!)
Anyway, I love my son. His little bastard friends and their douchey parents and my home being treated like a Chuck E. Cheeze's, not so much. The song posted above is Big Me by the Foo Fighters. It's the song that got me the Dudette (I sang it to her. I'm a straight up pimp!). Just saw them in concert, this weekend is my boy's birthday. It's kismet!
- Stay classy Patriots fans. Lord knows you truly deserve another Super Bowl with the added bonus of a perfect season. (Dear Jesus, please let the Bolts pull off a miracle this Sunday! Please!)
Have a great weekend, Nation. I know I will!
By the way, if you're looking for something to do this weekend, why not this?
Sorry for not posting anything yesterday. The reasons are four-fold:
1.) I was hungover all day recovering from the booze and the Foo Fighters concert the previous night. 2.) There's not a whole lot going on in Dolphins Nation. 3.) I was mourning the loss of the guy who invented the hula-hoop. You know. For kids. 4.) Mostly, I was hungover.
Anyway, there still isn't a lot going on. Unless you guys want to discuss our new offensive line coach. Yea. Didn't think so. Also, I see some of you have already started the draft talk, which is cool. But I'm just not ready yet. Perhaps when the season ends officially.
Anyway, here are some links to send you off into the weekend. Tomorrow is the Little Dude's birthday and the Dudette and I are putting together a party for him. Yup. A house full of screaming kids, their asshole parents and a bounce house. I asked the Dudette if she'd like to shove a railroad spike into my rectum while we're at it. Because it would completely bring this shit full circle. She declined.
So my weekend is set! Word to the wise, kids. If you don't want to be a Dad before you turn 30, either A.) ignore the hot girl B.) masturbate or C.) wear a condom (I'm Tom Brady! I'm Tom Brady!)
Anyway, I love my son. His little bastard friends and their douchey parents and my home being treated like a Chuck E. Cheeze's, not so much. The song posted above is Big Me by the Foo Fighters. It's the song that got me the Dudette (I sang it to her. I'm a straight up pimp!). Just saw them in concert, this weekend is my boy's birthday. It's kismet!
- Stay classy Patriots fans. Lord knows you truly deserve another Super Bowl with the added bonus of a perfect season. (Dear Jesus, please let the Bolts pull off a miracle this Sunday! Please!)
Have a great weekend, Nation. I know I will!
By the way, if you're looking for something to do this weekend, why not this?
Look, no doubt we needed a guy to come here and not completely shit the bed. And that's what Sparano seems to be. He's a guy Parcells has always liked and wanted around. When the Saints hired Sean Peyton to be their coach two seasons ago, he requested for Sparano to come be his offensive-coordinator in New Orleans. Parcells' answer to Peyton: "Fuck off."
So, needless to say, Parcells has always had a thing for Tony and his mustache and obviously had him in mind for the job down here the whole time. Sparano is an extension of Parcells and everything I've read about him says players respond to him and that he takes shit from nobody. This means you, Joey Porter!
But, with all that said, as I pointed out here, Jeff Ireland remains a more important hire than Sparano. Jeff Ireland is going to be the guy that gets Sparano the players. So Sparano's tenure as coach will be as successful as Jeff Ireland's personnel moves. It's that simple.
Aside from that, what I like the most about Sparano: he's not Nick Saban, which means no bullshit. And he's not Cam Cameron, which means he's not going to piss himself when he needs to decide what to do on a 4th and 1 at the opponent's 25 yard line. He's not Jimmy Johnson, so no blowhard promises of Super Bowls in three seasons. He's simply a football coach.
Also, his mustache is in much better shape than Dave Wannstedt's. So there's that.
Look, no doubt we needed a guy to come here and not completely shit the bed. And that's what Sparano seems to be. He's a guy Parcells has always liked and wanted around. When the Saints hired Sean Peyton to be their coach two seasons ago, he requested for Sparano to come be his offensive-coordinator in New Orleans. Parcells' answer to Peyton: "Fuck off."
So, needless to say, Parcells has always had a thing for Tony and his mustache and obviously had him in mind for the job down here the whole time. Sparano is an extension of Parcells and everything I've read about him says players respond to him and that he takes shit from nobody. This means you, Joey Porter!
But, with all that said, as I pointed out here, Jeff Ireland remains a more important hire than Sparano. Jeff Ireland is going to be the guy that gets Sparano the players. So Sparano's tenure as coach will be as successful as Jeff Ireland's personnel moves. It's that simple.
Aside from that, what I like the most about Sparano: he's not Nick Saban, which means no bullshit. And he's not Cam Cameron, which means he's not going to piss himself when he needs to decide what to do on a 4th and 1 at the opponent's 25 yard line. He's not Jimmy Johnson, so no blowhard promises of Super Bowls in three seasons. He's simply a football coach.
Also, his mustache is in much better shape than Dave Wannstedt's. So there's that.
(very limited supply of Tony Sparano pics in my computer)
Looks like all signs are pointing to Sparano becoming the next head coach of your Miami Dolphins. Armando Salguero reports on his blog that Jeff Ireland is on his way to (or has already arrived in) Dallas to pick up Sparano and bring him on over.
Meanwhile, PFT had this to say about the coaching interviews conducted by Parcells in the last couple of weeks: "Parcells has improved the standing of guys like [Mike] Tice and Jim Schwartz and Leslie Frazier, potentially getting each of them raises by giving them interviews for a job that everyone knew was going to Sparano. More importantly, the favors that Parcells has done for these guys will only increase the Tuna's sphere of power and influence around the league. Frankly, Parcells is no longer the Tuna . . . he's the Godfather."
And that's awesome. Because having Parcells' sphere of power and influence grow is a very good thing for us all. Also because The Godfather is the single greatest movie of all time. Parcells is building his "family" with his guys. He essentially had the old regime wacked (Cam Cameron as Fredo!) and brought in his own "Michael" (Ireland) to run the show.
Meanwhile, Sparano will be Fat Clemeza. Because it's the character he most resembles. Joey Porter is Sonny, because he's always angry and getting into fights. Me? I'm Batman. Because I'm a blogger with a secret identity who lives and works in his mother's basement a batcave. Plus, I have Batman jammies. So I've got that going for me.
(very limited supply of Tony Sparano pics in my computer)
Looks like all signs are pointing to Sparano becoming the next head coach of your Miami Dolphins. Armando Salguero reports on his blog that Jeff Ireland is on his way to (or has already arrived in) Dallas to pick up Sparano and bring him on over.
Meanwhile, PFT had this to say about the coaching interviews conducted by Parcells in the last couple of weeks: "Parcells has improved the standing of guys like [Mike] Tice and Jim Schwartz and Leslie Frazier, potentially getting each of them raises by giving them interviews for a job that everyone knew was going to Sparano. More importantly, the favors that Parcells has done for these guys will only increase the Tuna's sphere of power and influence around the league. Frankly, Parcells is no longer the Tuna . . . he's the Godfather."
And that's awesome. Because having Parcells' sphere of power and influence grow is a very good thing for us all. Also because The Godfather is the single greatest movie of all time. Parcells is building his "family" with his guys. He essentially had the old regime wacked (Cam Cameron as Fredo!) and brought in his own "Michael" (Ireland) to run the show.
Meanwhile, Sparano will be Fat Clemeza. Because it's the character he most resembles. Joey Porter is Sonny, because he's always angry and getting into fights. Me? I'm Batman. Because I'm a blogger with a secret identity who lives and works in his mother's basement a batcave. Plus, I have Batman jammies. So I've got that going for me.
