I’ve been writing about the Dolphins draft in one form or another since 2005. More often than not, I have been right, they have been wrong. A quick re-cap:
2005: I said the Fins should draft Braylon Edwards. They took Ronnie Brown instead. Now, Edwards is blowing shit up in Cleveland while Brown is blowing up his knee and has yet to finish an entire season.
2006: I said the Fins should try to trade up for Jay Cutler. If not, then draft Antonio Cromartie. They took Jason Allen instead. Now, Cromartie holds the record for longest TD in NFL history, is a Pro Bowler and is generally regarded as one of the best corners in the NFL. Allen is, well, you know....
2007: I said the Fins should draft either Patrick Willis or Brady Quinn. We all know what happened after that.
So now, I’m calling the Dolphins to target two guys: Vernon Gholston and Brian Brohm. Fat fucking chance that happens.
Anyway, here now, my Fins 2008 mock draft. Ah, yes, the mock draft. The most arbitrary, capricious waste of time a blog or website can subjugate upon its readers. So let’s do it, shall we!
1. DE Chris Long, Virginia: As much as I’d rather we take Vernon Gholston, this does seem the safest pick to make at No. 1. And everyone seems to love Long. Long is good. Long is great. Chicks dig the Long. So, I'll cave with convention and say Chris Long. But Chris Long better be fucking be exactly like his Dad is all I'm saying. I mean exactly. He needs to have a Hall of Fame career, lead our defense to at least one Super Bowl victory, get that same shitty buzz cut, make pickup truck commercials and star in shitty straight-to-DVD movies.
2 (#32). QB Brian Brohm, Louisville: The Dolphins are going to take a QB somewhere in this draft. That doesn’t mean I’ve given up on John Beck. I haven’t. But it’s just the way it’s gonna be. My personal favorite QB in this class is Brohm. Brohm brings 30+ games started in college, a 65% completion percentage and tremendous athleticism as well as loins of steel. In my opinion, he’s better than Ryan, Joe Flacco and Chad Henne. And there’s no rhyme or reason as to why his stock has plummeted. The injury history is not a problem for me, either. If teams pass on him to fill other needs in the first round, Brohm becomes a bargain here and we have to take him. That’s all there is to it. Brian Brohm is what you want in a franchise QB. Again, I love me some Mormon. But when the most important position in all of football has been neglected and seriously fucked over with for the past decade, you need to stock up on as many potential franchise QBs as you can until someone emerges. My money’s on Brohm.
