The Dolphins have signed former Cowboys safety Keith Davis. Davis adds depth to the secondary and will be competing with Yeremiah Bell, Jason Allen and Renaldo Hill for a starting spot (really, how hard can that be?). But Davis is primarily being brought here to fix our shitty special teams.
A team captain last season in Dallas, Davis has a history of being solid in special teams. Davis also has a history of getting shot a bunch of times.
"He missed the entire 2003 season after suffering a gunshot wound to his hip and elbow while waiting to pick up a friend at a topless club...Davis was also shot in the head and thigh while driving down a Dallas highway in July 2006 as he was returning from a family vacation. The police described it as an attempted carjacking. None of the wounds were considered serious."
Jesus, bullets just find this guy. And yet, he lives. He's like Robert Patrick. He's been shot in the head, elbow, hip and thigh. That's pretty badass. One time, I got a splinter in my foot. My Mom pulled it out with some tweezers. Then I passed out for like 30 seconds. I too am a badass.
Anyway, Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter was also shot in the backside area a few years ago. So now our roster features two guys that have been shot in the ass. There's a feather in our cap!