The always excellent Omar Kelly over at The Sun Sentinel lists his top 10 off-season additions by Bill Parcells & His Merry Cockpunchers.
Some names that caught my eye from his list:
Akin Ayodele, whom Omar calls "the most knowledgeable defender when it comes to understanding the defense the new coaching staff will be implementing." Unless Channing Crowder crashes his car into a tree again and flees to Costa Rica, the job should still be his. But Ayodele will give him a run for his money.
Omar also lists safety Chris Crocker saying Crocker is a player "who has exhibited a nose for making plays (seven interceptions and 27 pass deflections) in his five previous seasons." As some of you may know, Crocker shares his name with this guy. But the joke got old and tired after five minutes, so you won't see me making any "LEAVE JT ALONE!!!" jokes. I will, however, note that his last name is Crocker. As in Betty Crocker. But this Crocker doesn't do cookies. This Crocker serves up a batch of freshly baked whoop ass! Boo-yah!! Baking jokes never get old, bitch! Anyway, Crocker will compete with Jason Allen, Renaldo Hill, Keith Davis, Courtney Bryant and my man Yeremiah for one of the two starting S slots.
Omar's list is plenty good. But mine differs. So, here now is my top 10 off-season additions list:
1. OT Jake Long: The Mighty Long is, at this moment, the pillar of this entire organization.
2. WR Ernest Wilford: Because in case you forgot, Derek Hagan was the only other option after Ted Ginn. Also, Wilford's a big dude who's going to move the chains. Our ability to convert 3rd downs is suddenly way better than it has been in a long while. I cannot stress enough how important this signing was. And how can you argue with instant analysis like "way better"? Answer: You can't.
3. OG Justin Smiley: He's young, he's a bruiser, he's nasty and he's a massive upgrade -- literally and figuratively.
4. DT Randy Starks: While Jason Ferguson will clog the middle in the immediate future, Starks is the heir apparent. He's 24 and he fits right in with Parcells' system. Unlike my Black Power tattoo, which seems oddly out of place on my body (because I'm paler than a dead man, and because I'm not African American).
5. DE Phillip Merling: Thanks to a sports hernia injury he suffered in college, he now has the testicle sack of a wild stallion. But if this guy can meet his true potential, he's the next Richard Seymour. And he will be declared the steal of the 2008 draft. Versatile, powerful, and can use his balls as a grappling hook to scale tall buildings? That, my friends, is a draft day steal in any book.
6. DT Jason Ferguson: He's apparently contractually obligated to go wherever Parcells goes. But that's cool with me. Our run defense was the absolute worst last year. That stops with Big Jake on board.
7. S Keith Davis: The man's been shot at more times than Tony Montana at the end of Scarface and yet he continues to live (without the aid of cocaine fueled adrenaline, I might add!). He also brings track-star speed and a hard-hitting mentality that was sorely lacking in our special teams last year. Special teams is a huge key to success and Teflon Keith is its anchor. Add batshit crazy Boomer Grisby into the mix and suddenly we're all praying for guys to fail to signal for a fair-catch, just so we can see an actual human decapitation on live television!
8. TE Anthony Fasano: We haven't had a decent tight end around here since fucking Keith Jackson. We gave up a
second fourth-rounder for this dude. He can block and he can catch! That's right. I said CATCH!
9. DE Kendall Langford: He might be a reach but I really like what Parcells and Ireland envision with Langford. They're building a D that runs the 3-4 and Langford excels at DE, DT and OLB.
10. QB Chad Henne: I'm still very skeptical about Henne. I'm a John Beck guy. But Henne's presence will at least bring the best out of the QB competition. Someone will emerge as the franchise QB from this. Until next year when we draft Matt Stafford from Georgia, of course.
So there it is. My top 10 off-season additions list.
Christopher Walken's villainous character from A View To A Kill approves! Observe:
Anyway, your thoughts, as always, are welcomed...