ESPN & Scouts Inc's Todd McShay posted his first 2009 NFL mock draft yesterday, which is both awesome and not very good. Not only is it as ridiculous as me saying I know exactly what you're going to eat for breakfast on October 25th, 2024* But it also has a strange indefinable lure to it. It's kinda seductive, that link. Should I take a look? No, it's stupid! The draft just ended and it's silly. But, really, what's the harm? Oh okay. No, don't do it! But I want to know what he thinks the Dolphins will do! Oh... Oh.... Fine. Look. But don't tell anybody.... Anyway, he has the Dolphins picking 4th. And at 4, he has them taking DT Al Woods out of LSU.
But fuck that noise. I don't want Woods. I want LB Rey Maualuga from USC (McShay has him going 9th to the Rams). If we suck bad enough this year -- and I really think it's doable ::fingers crossed, makes girly "Eeeee! sound:: -- then this is the guy. This is the next great middle linebacker. Mark my words. Maualuga is a supreme badass and those who dare step onto the field and play football against him are either ignorant of his terrible powers or are resigned to live their lives without their intestines. The man is an absolute beast. He's everything Vernon Gholston wished he could be. And he's everything Bill Parcells dreams about at night. I'm beginning to suspect now why we signed Josh McCown. Start his ass and let's do this! 3-13 all the way baby! Wooohoo!!!!
By the way, McShay has the Patriots picking 32. So, according to Todd McShay, the Patriots are going to win the Super Bowl next year. Stupid Todd McShay.
*A BK Croissanwich with Sausage, Egg & Cheese, 5 piece French Toast Sticks, Hash Brown Rounds - small, and a large coffee. Jesus. Slow down, lard ass!