Yes, the Jason Taylor situation blows. Blows hard. And not in a good way. And as expected, lots and lots of Dolphins fans are going totally batshit. They're lighting Molotov cocktails, throwing chairs out of windows, starting bar fights, incoherently shouting obscenities at each other in Portuguese, jumping off of roof tops, pissing on electrical fences, shoving their cocks into random mailslots and saying, "I got yer package right 'ere!", riding off on the women and raping the horses. It's madness!!!!
But before we all burn down the city of Miami -- even those of us who don't actually live here -- let's sit back and think through some things.
From the outset, it sounds like JT came out and demanded a trade by threatening to skip mandatory mini-camps. What a dick. But wait. Is that what really happened? All we have is Tony Sparano's weird, fuzzy statement on Taylor:
“This is my reaction with the Jason Taylor situation. I’m going to answer this question one time. I’m not going to answer another question about the Jason Taylor situation after I answer this. Here is what I know. I’m glad we know this. We’ve gotten the information. That’s important. But I know that Jason is not going to be at any OTAs. I know that Jason is not going to be in any minicamps. And I know that right now Jason is not going to be at training camp. So that’s what we know. Jason’s a player under contract with the Miami Dolphins. He knows that. Both parties are well aware of the information."
Can anyone decipher what the fuck Sparano said there? Dude talks like a character out of a Cormac McCarthy novel. If JT demanded a trade and threatened to boycott the team, why didn't Sparano just come out and say so? What's with the weird wording? And why not answer further questions? Why is this thing being treated like the godamned Kennedy assassination? All that's missing are guys with fedoras and those old timey cameras with light bulbs that crackle and fall off after each shot. And a gay Kevin Bacon.
As far as Taylor, he has said nothing publicly. If he did ask for a trade, why would the Dolphins come out and announce it publicly like this? It seems by doing this, they've completely shit on their chances at getting a good deal for him since this kills any leverage they'd have. "We'll trade you a player we don't want anyway for your 2009 second round pick! Sound good?"
This looks more and more like the Tuna is simply playing the "I Take Bigger Shits Than Anyone Else In The Whole World" card and sending a message to everyone that he won't take any insubordination, not even from an 11-year veteran like Jason Taylor. It has to be. Otherwise, everything else points to this being a retarded move of epic proportions. Why announce to the world that your relationship with Taylor is now fractured? Why go public? It makes no sense.
As for JT, I'm going to continue to believe him. His track record tells me I should. He's handled this as best as he could. And his commitment to Dancing With the Stars was made before Parcells took over. Calling him a liar or a trader or a sack of shit is completely uncalled for. Because the facts are not all in yet. And that's really all I'm saying. Even if he wants a trade, so what? Why are we all acting like Jason personally came over to our house and punched our mother in the groin and called our father a fag all while drinking our last beer? Re-fucking-lax!
The way I see it, the Fins have handled this in quite the shit-your-pants fashion from the get-go. From ridiculously asking for a first round pick, to turning down the Jaguars' 4th round pick offer, to having the least articulate dude on the entire staff make the Jason Taylor situation "announcement" yesterday, to refusing to provide any specifics on the who and what and whens.
And what if JT does want to be traded? So what? I don't want to see him go, but I can't blame the guy for requesting a trade. Why on earth would he stay with this shitty-ass team and waste the last two good seasons he has left in his body when he can go try and win a ring somewhere else? Because you, the Mighty Super Fan, demand it?
I'm all for getting mad at guys who don't give their all. But this is Jason Taylor we're talking about. The guy has never failed to give us everything. So, yea, he gets a pass. He certainly gets the benefit of the doubt over Man-Tits and his bloated "my way or the highway" bullshit.
JT deserves better. From all of us.
This looks more and more like the Tuna is simply playing the "I Take Bigger Shits Than Anyone Else In The Whole World" card and sending a message to everyone that he won't take any insubordination, not even from an 11-year veteran like Jason Taylor. It has to be. Otherwise, everything else points to this being a retarded move of epic proportions. Why announce to the world that your relationship with Taylor is now fractured? Why go public? It makes no sense.
As for JT, I'm going to continue to believe him. His track record tells me I should. He's handled this as best as he could. And his commitment to Dancing With the Stars was made before Parcells took over. Calling him a liar or a trader or a sack of shit is completely uncalled for. Because the facts are not all in yet. And that's really all I'm saying. Even if he wants a trade, so what? Why are we all acting like Jason personally came over to our house and punched our mother in the groin and called our father a fag all while drinking our last beer? Re-fucking-lax!
The way I see it, the Fins have handled this in quite the shit-your-pants fashion from the get-go. From ridiculously asking for a first round pick, to turning down the Jaguars' 4th round pick offer, to having the least articulate dude on the entire staff make the Jason Taylor situation "announcement" yesterday, to refusing to provide any specifics on the who and what and whens.
And what if JT does want to be traded? So what? I don't want to see him go, but I can't blame the guy for requesting a trade. Why on earth would he stay with this shitty-ass team and waste the last two good seasons he has left in his body when he can go try and win a ring somewhere else? Because you, the Mighty Super Fan, demand it?
I'm all for getting mad at guys who don't give their all. But this is Jason Taylor we're talking about. The guy has never failed to give us everything. So, yea, he gets a pass. He certainly gets the benefit of the doubt over Man-Tits and his bloated "my way or the highway" bullshit.
JT deserves better. From all of us.
