Fins Nation: A Miami Dolphins Blog With Dick Jokes

Weekender: Happy Father's Day

The scrawny little pecker-head you see on the left is me. The other kid is my big brother. And the mustachioed stranger in the middle -- that would be my old man in all his Magnum PI glory.

I inherited my love of sports from my Dad. I also inherited from my Dad my love of good music, pizza bagels, women with nice asses, Superman comics, Ray Harryhausen movies, and a fondness for having fun at other people's expense. Alas, I did not inherit his affinity for mustaches.

But there are three things my Dad instilled in me that has impacted my life the most. The first two are his love for the Miami Dolphins and his sarcastic and douchebaggedy wit (which explains why this blog is ensconced in it). I've been able to take both and parlay them into a somewhat successful career as a copywriter, freelance writer, and blogger.

The third thing he handed down to me was being a kick-ass Dad. And I am striving to be just that for my own little man. Like most good dads, he took me to ballgames and coached my little league teams. As a kid, he would buy me toys and as an adolescent, he always let me borrow his car whenever I had a hot date. Unlike my Mom, he's not much of a talker. But he's never had to be. Dad has always been about letting me figure things out on my own and diffusing tough situations with his humor. Yet the one place we could really communicate and talk for hours was sports -- particularly the Dolphins. To this day, it's really the one thing we talk about (outside of me constantly telling him not to spoil his grandson so much). To forget about life for a while, and just talk sports with your father. What more could a son ask for?

The man loves his wife. The man loves his sons. The man loves his grand children. The man loves his Dolphins.

And although he no longer looks like Magnum PI, he still sports the facial hair. So now he looks more like a pirate. Which not only makes my son believe his grandpa sails the seven seas in search for buried treasure, but makes my Dad more of a badass than Magnum ever was.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

And Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there in the Nation!

Weekender: Happy Father's Day

The scrawny little pecker-head you see on the left is me. The other kid is my big brother. And the mustachioed stranger in the middle -- that would be my old man in all his Magnum PI glory.

I inherited my love of sports from my Dad. I also inherited from my Dad my love of good music, pizza bagels, women with nice asses, Superman comics, Ray Harryhausen movies, and a fondness for having fun at other people's expense. Alas, I did not inherit his affinity for mustaches.

But there are three things my Dad instilled in me that has impacted my life the most. The first two are his love for the Miami Dolphins and his sarcastic and douchebaggedy wit (which explains why this blog is ensconced in it). I've been able to take both and parlay them into a somewhat successful career as a copywriter, freelance writer, and blogger.

The third thing he handed down to me was being a kick-ass Dad. And I am striving to be just that for my own little man. Like most good dads, he took me to ballgames and coached my little league teams. As a kid, he would buy me toys and as an adolescent, he always let me borrow his car whenever I had a hot date. Unlike my Mom, he's not much of a talker. But he's never had to be. Dad has always been about letting me figure things out on my own and diffusing tough situations with his humor. Yet the one place we could really communicate and talk for hours was sports -- particularly the Dolphins. To this day, it's really the one thing we talk about (outside of me constantly telling him not to spoil his grandson so much). To forget about life for a while, and just talk sports with your father. What more could a son ask for?

The man loves his wife. The man loves his sons. The man loves his grand children. The man loves his Dolphins.

And although he no longer looks like Magnum PI, he still sports the facial hair. So now he looks more like a pirate. Which not only makes my son believe his grandpa sails the seven seas in search for buried treasure, but makes my Dad more of a badass than Magnum ever was.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

And Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there in the Nation!

Black Thunder is Rolling Again

Remember last year when Ronnie Brown blew up his knee trying to tackle a Patriot DB who just intercepted a pass? And we were all like, "Oh man, Ronnie got dinged up," and then three minutes later we were all like, "Oh shit. Not good." and then we were all like, "Why us?" and then we were all like, "God hates us! God fucking hates us!"

Remember that?

Good times.

Well, less than a year later it looks like the universal colossus that is Ronnie Brown, the man we here at FN affectionately call Black Thunder (t-shirts coming soon!), is on his way back sooner than expected:

Less than eight months after sustaining a season-ending knee injury, Dolphins running back Ronnie Brown took part in 11-on-11 team drills for the first time this week, a sign that points to a full return by next month's training camp. "It's a big step,'' said Brown after Thursday's practice, the final organized team activity session until the start of training camp in late July. "A step closer to getting ready for the season and getting ready for training camp.

11-on-11 drills, taking contact, and being a part of the first-team. Badassery at its finest, my friends. Most torn ACLs take over a year to fully heal. But Ronnie Brown is no ordinary man. He's Black Thunder, bitch (t-shirts coming soon!) and, well, quite frankly, he and Ricky Williams are really the only hope we have of not completely shitting the bed this coming season.

Ronnie is not fully healed, mind you. But this is a huge step forward. This means he could quite possibly be ready to jump into the fray when the season starts. First victim of the Black Thunder Rolling Rally of Ass Kicking & Cockpunches: the New York Jets.

And he's gonna run all over their asses, blow right through their DBs and LBs like a cannon ball, rip off their helmets with their heads still in them and FedEx them to Bob Sutton's home, take a dump in Eric Mangini's mouth, rip off Calvin Pace's arm and beat Vernon Gholston to death with it, and go up into the stands and shove Fireman Ed's hat so far up his ass, they'll need the jaws of life to go in and pry it out.

Because he's Black Thunder!

And he just don't give a fuck!

(t-shirts coming soon!)

Black Thunder is Rolling Again

Remember last year when Ronnie Brown blew up his knee trying to tackle a Patriot DB who just intercepted a pass? And we were all like, "Oh man, Ronnie got dinged up," and then three minutes later we were all like, "Oh shit. Not good." and then we were all like, "Why us?" and then we were all like, "God hates us! God fucking hates us!"

Remember that?

Good times.

Well, less than a year later it looks like the universal colossus that is Ronnie Brown, the man we here at FN affectionately call Black Thunder (t-shirts coming soon!), is on his way back sooner than expected:

Less than eight months after sustaining a season-ending knee injury, Dolphins running back Ronnie Brown took part in 11-on-11 team drills for the first time this week, a sign that points to a full return by next month's training camp. "It's a big step,'' said Brown after Thursday's practice, the final organized team activity session until the start of training camp in late July. "A step closer to getting ready for the season and getting ready for training camp.

11-on-11 drills, taking contact, and being a part of the first-team. Badassery at its finest, my friends. Most torn ACLs take over a year to fully heal. But Ronnie Brown is no ordinary man. He's Black Thunder, bitch (t-shirts coming soon!) and, well, quite frankly, he and Ricky Williams are really the only hope we have of not completely shitting the bed this coming season.

Ronnie is not fully healed, mind you. But this is a huge step forward. This means he could quite possibly be ready to jump into the fray when the season starts. First victim of the Black Thunder Rolling Rally of Ass Kicking & Cockpunches: the New York Jets.

And he's gonna run all over their asses, blow right through their DBs and LBs like a cannon ball, rip off their helmets with their heads still in them and FedEx them to Bob Sutton's home, take a dump in Eric Mangini's mouth, rip off Calvin Pace's arm and beat Vernon Gholston to death with it, and go up into the stands and shove Fireman Ed's hat so far up his ass, they'll need the jaws of life to go in and pry it out.

Because he's Black Thunder!

And he just don't give a fuck!

(t-shirts coming soon!)

i can haz good playerz?

 
What If says we'll win 5 games this year.

Yay us!

i can haz good playerz?

 
What If says we'll win 5 games this year.

Yay us!

Vernon Carey: Quite Possibly the Eighth Wonder of the World

One of the greater benefits of drafting Jake Long first-overall in last April's draft, was the fact that it was kind of a surprise-package deal. We got ourselves a bona fide left tackle in Long. But we also got ourselves a kick-ass right tackle in Vernon Carey. It's like when you order a Whopper value meal at BK and you get a surprise onion ring with your fries! I love it when that shit happens!

To re-cap, Carey was originally drafted in '04 to be our starting right-tackle. But things went to shit on our line and the behemoth had to convert to left tackle. He stared all 16 games last season and was the lone bright spot in a craptastic offensive line that killed John Beck's confidence and killed Trent Green. But now that J-Long is here, Carey can move back to his more natural right tackle spot. And that is all kinds of goodness.

Coach Tony Sparano, a former offensive line coach, doesn't see Carey's transition as difficult. "If you can play left tackle in our league, you can play right tackle in our league," Sparano said. "With Vernon, he's a big, strong guy and the right tackle is a more powerful position. I think that's an easier transition, certainly, for him." Offensive line coach Mike Maser agrees Carey, who is 6 feet 5, 335 pounds, fits better on the right side. "He's a big guy and you'd like your right tackle to be a big, thick guy like Vernon," Maser said. "I kind of think he naturally fits into that mold."

And as if having him mauling defensive ends and linebackers at his more natural spot wasn't enough, Vernon is going out of his way to help rookie Long with his transition into the big boy's pool. And that's just freaking awesome. I'd say, if everything falls neatly into place, we've got ourselves two pillars for bookends on the O-line for many seasons to come.

And I say Fuck Yea! to that.

Can I get a Fuck Yea! from Tiny Armando?

    Fuck Yea!

Right on.

Vernon Carey: Quite Possibly the Eighth Wonder of the World

One of the greater benefits of drafting Jake Long first-overall in last April's draft, was the fact that it was kind of a surprise-package deal. We got ourselves a bona fide left tackle in Long. But we also got ourselves a kick-ass right tackle in Vernon Carey. It's like when you order a Whopper value meal at BK and you get a surprise onion ring with your fries! I love it when that shit happens!

To re-cap, Carey was originally drafted in '04 to be our starting right-tackle. But things went to shit on our line and the behemoth had to convert to left tackle. He stared all 16 games last season and was the lone bright spot in a craptastic offensive line that killed John Beck's confidence and killed Trent Green. But now that J-Long is here, Carey can move back to his more natural right tackle spot. And that is all kinds of goodness.

Coach Tony Sparano, a former offensive line coach, doesn't see Carey's transition as difficult. "If you can play left tackle in our league, you can play right tackle in our league," Sparano said. "With Vernon, he's a big, strong guy and the right tackle is a more powerful position. I think that's an easier transition, certainly, for him." Offensive line coach Mike Maser agrees Carey, who is 6 feet 5, 335 pounds, fits better on the right side. "He's a big guy and you'd like your right tackle to be a big, thick guy like Vernon," Maser said. "I kind of think he naturally fits into that mold."

And as if having him mauling defensive ends and linebackers at his more natural spot wasn't enough, Vernon is going out of his way to help rookie Long with his transition into the big boy's pool. And that's just freaking awesome. I'd say, if everything falls neatly into place, we've got ourselves two pillars for bookends on the O-line for many seasons to come.

And I say Fuck Yea! to that.

Can I get a Fuck Yea! from Tiny Armando?

    Fuck Yea!

Right on.

Who Has Arms That Are WMDs, Knocks Fools Out on The Field, and Is a Total Certified Badass?

 
Yeremiah Bell.

That's who.

Bell, recovering from a 2007 torn Achilles tendon, said he's 95 percent recovered from the injury. "The other five percent will come over the rest of the offseason," Bell said ...Bell is running with the first teamers. He loves the new defensive system, calling it "player friendly," and thinks he can prosper in it. Chances look good he'll do exactly that.

/muthafuckas!

Who Has Arms That Are WMDs, Knocks Fools Out on The Field, and Is a Total Certified Badass?

 
Yeremiah Bell.

That's who.

Bell, recovering from a 2007 torn Achilles tendon, said he's 95 percent recovered from the injury. "The other five percent will come over the rest of the offseason," Bell said ...Bell is running with the first teamers. He loves the new defensive system, calling it "player friendly," and thinks he can prosper in it. Chances look good he'll do exactly that.

/muthafuckas!