Fins Nation: A Miami Dolphins Blog With Dick Jokes

Some Stuff From All Around

Ok.  We’re not gonna lie to you.  The reason for the late post:  We got nothin’ today.  The Dude’s in a funk [Ed. Note: I have anal fissures] and I’m swamped at work so we’re giving you the best that we’ve got like Anita Baker. 

For your appetizer, a little something to get you stirred up and thinking about a solid work jerk, if you get get away from the desk for 5 minutes.  My advice?  If someone comes into the bathroom, pretend like you’re sitting down on the toilet.  We all know you can’t perform with some other dude in there.  That’s just gross.  Otherwise, have at it.  We won’t judge you [Ed. Note: Except you, Tom-Ass. God’s always looking at you!]  We know how uncontrollable that thing is.  Here are more pics of Keeley Hazell up there that are, how you say? NSFW: One.  Two.  Three. And Four [Ed. Note: Hey-Ohh!!]

And now... a few thoughts on the Fins:

Travis Daniels Traded to the Browns

The Fins traded Travis Daniels to the Browns today for an undisclosed draft pick. Daniels was a fourth-round pick back in 2005. Daniels had himself a solid rookie season, but then promptly turned into a liability.

Daniels, 25, bottomed out last season, when he routinely gave up big plays and seemed to lose his confidence. Daniels allowed an average of 10.9 yards per completion in 2007, ranking among the worst in the NFL.

Not only that, but according to Armando Salguero, the Browns had inquired about getting Michael Lehan ahead of Daniels but the Dolphins said no.

Cleveland wanted a dude with a severe ankle sprain over Travis Daniels. Bill Parcells said no, because he wanted a dude with a severe ankle sprain over Travis Daniels. Is it me, or has every move made by Nick Saban turned into a hardy bowl of slow simmered shit stew? 

-The DUDE

Travis Daniels Traded to the Browns

The Fins traded Travis Daniels to the Browns today for an undisclosed draft pick. Daniels was a fourth-round pick back in 2005. Daniels had himself a solid rookie season, but then promptly turned into a liability.

Daniels, 25, bottomed out last season, when he routinely gave up big plays and seemed to lose his confidence. Daniels allowed an average of 10.9 yards per completion in 2007, ranking among the worst in the NFL.

Not only that, but according to Armando Salguero, the Browns had inquired about getting Michael Lehan ahead of Daniels but the Dolphins said no.

Cleveland wanted a dude with a severe ankle sprain over Travis Daniels. Bill Parcells said no, because he wanted a dude with a severe ankle sprain over Travis Daniels. Is it me, or has every move made by Nick Saban turned into a hardy bowl of slow simmered shit stew? 

-The DUDE

The Dolphins Will Be Better This Year

The The USA Today ranks the Dolphins as the number one team that finished under .500 last year that should take a leap forward in 2008.

Just having Bill Parcells at the controls gives them someone with a steady hand who has a track record of righting ships. The team appeared to have a strong draft and getting Chad Pennington as their quarterback gives them a solid veteran who Parcells can work with. They even have Ricky Williams, a former object of ridicule, serious about fixing his reputation.

You ever had one of those moments when you feel like you're about to yawn but instead you shit on somebody's face? And then the guy's like, "Hey, man! That's inappropriate!" And then you're all, "Sorry. I thought I was going to yawn." And the guy says, "Oh! Okay, then." Anyway... I forgot where I was going with this. I think my point was that I agree that the Dolphins should do better this year than they did last year.

-The DUDE

The Dolphins Will Be Better This Year

The The USA Today ranks the Dolphins as the number one team that finished under .500 last year that should take a leap forward in 2008.

Just having Bill Parcells at the controls gives them someone with a steady hand who has a track record of righting ships. The team appeared to have a strong draft and getting Chad Pennington as their quarterback gives them a solid veteran who Parcells can work with. They even have Ricky Williams, a former object of ridicule, serious about fixing his reputation.

You ever had one of those moments when you feel like you're about to yawn but instead you shit on somebody's face? And then the guy's like, "Hey, man! That's inappropriate!" And then you're all, "Sorry. I thought I was going to yawn." And the guy says, "Oh! Okay, then." Anyway... I forgot where I was going with this. I think my point was that I agree that the Dolphins should do better this year than they did last year.

-The DUDE

John Beck Being Shopped Around

 
Although the Dolphins have yet to say it publicly, the Miami Herald is reporting that the Fins are, in fact, shopping John Beck around. Reportedly, they're looking for a fourth-round pick for The Mormon, but it's unlikely anyone will give them that.

''I could see them getting a late-round pick, maybe conditional,'' a second NFC executive said. ''Last year was a disaster and he [turns] 27'' on Thursday. As perspective, one official noted Cleveland received a sixth-rounder last September from Seattle for former starter Charlie Frye, the 67th pick of the 2005 draft. Beck was drafted 40th in 2007.

Wow. John Beck went from being the possible future franchise quarterback for the Miami Dolphins to Charlie Fucking Frye. Never thought I'd ever say that. Another thing I thought I'd never say: "Would someone please put a dick in my mouth?"

Ah well. Live and learn.

-The DUDE

John Beck Being Shopped Around

 
Although the Dolphins have yet to say it publicly, the Miami Herald is reporting that the Fins are, in fact, shopping John Beck around. Reportedly, they're looking for a fourth-round pick for The Mormon, but it's unlikely anyone will give them that.

''I could see them getting a late-round pick, maybe conditional,'' a second NFC executive said. ''Last year was a disaster and he [turns] 27'' on Thursday. As perspective, one official noted Cleveland received a sixth-rounder last September from Seattle for former starter Charlie Frye, the 67th pick of the 2005 draft. Beck was drafted 40th in 2007.

Wow. John Beck went from being the possible future franchise quarterback for the Miami Dolphins to Charlie Fucking Frye. Never thought I'd ever say that. Another thing I thought I'd never say: "Would someone please put a dick in my mouth?"

Ah well. Live and learn.

-The DUDE

Donald Thomas is Your New Right Guard

Donald Thomas, the rookie sixth-round pick out of UConn, has won the starting right guard position. It was the right choice because Thomas has been blowing up defensive linemen throughout the entire off-season and pre-season. Thomas has been one of the main reasons Ricky Williams has been able to run all over defenses the last two games.

The Dolphins� offensive line is now set - Jake Long, Justin Smiley, Samson Satele, Thomas and Vernon Carey. Sparano said having two rookie starters �requires patience,� but is excited about Long and Thomas anchoring the line for many years to come.

Meanwhile, Omar Kelly is calling Thomas the steal of the 2008 draft. So there you go. Last year our O-line nearly singlehandedly murdered Trent Green and John Beck. This year, they have at least two rookies who will make up the foundation of an impenetrable wall for years to come.

Donald Thomas pictures are really hard to find on the Internet. So I went with a picture of Eva Mendez and her gorgeous ass instead. If you think a post should be accompanied by a picture of the player or coach that are being talked about in said post, then I apologize. Also, you might be a homo.

-The DUDE

Donald Thomas is Your New Right Guard

Donald Thomas, the rookie sixth-round pick out of UConn, has won the starting right guard position. It was the right choice because Thomas has been blowing up defensive linemen throughout the entire off-season and pre-season. Thomas has been one of the main reasons Ricky Williams has been able to run all over defenses the last two games.

The Dolphins’ offensive line is now set - Jake Long, Justin Smiley, Samson Satele, Thomas and Vernon Carey. Sparano said having two rookie starters “requires patience,” but is excited about Long and Thomas anchoring the line for many years to come.

Meanwhile, Omar Kelly is calling Thomas the steal of the 2008 draft. So there you go. Last year our O-line nearly singlehandedly murdered Trent Green and John Beck. This year, they have at least two rookies who will make up the foundation of an impenetrable wall for years to come.

Donald Thomas pictures are really hard to find on the Internet. So I went with a picture of Eva Mendez and her gorgeous ass instead. If you think a post should be accompanied by a picture of the player or coach that are being talked about in said post, then I apologize. Also, you might be a homo.

-The DUDE

Michael Lehan Returns

Michael Lehan returned to practice today just three weeks after suffering what looked like a season-ending ankle injury.

During Monday's session he said he got tangled up with receiver Ted Ginn Jr. during a drill and walked away from that collision confident he was healthy enough to play.

"I feel pretty good. One thing I wanted to do is press Ted Ginn and see how I ran with him and give that a judge; see how my quickness is," said Lehan, who contributed 56 tackles, one interception and one fumble recovery last season. "I'm feeling pretty good today."

In a related story, I went to Burger King for lunch today but didn�t have enough money to buy a soda. So I asked for a cup of water, but then filled it with Orange Fanta when no one was looking. I think we all know who the real winner of the day is.

-The DUDE