Fins Nation: A Miami Dolphins Blog With Dick Jokes

Ronnie Brown Plans on Scoring More, Needs TD Celebration Ideas

Omar Kelly tells us Ronnie Brown is looking for suggestions for a signature touch down celebration.

Considering Brown plans to score plenty more touchdowns this season, and in coming years, he's asked the Sun-Sentinel to request suggestions for an end zone get-down from Dolphins fans.... but try to stay within the NFL's rules because Brown isn't too flashy a guy, and he certainly doesn't want to cost himself some cash. My plan is to make a page 2 with some of the best suggestions from you (your name will be included) and bring the best of the best to Brown.

So if you have the time to waste, go ahead and leave a comment on Omar's blog with your idea. Or leave a few here. I personally think it would be cool if after every TD, Ronnie would pull down his pants and swing his penis around in a circle while making helicopter noises. He could call it "The Helicockter." That would be awesome. Although he might take out an eye or two, or possibly knock out a few teammates, it would still be totally worth it.

-The DUDE

Ronnie Brown Plans on Scoring More, Needs TD Celebration Ideas

Omar Kelly tells us Ronnie Brown is looking for suggestions for a signature touch down celebration.

Considering Brown plans to score plenty more touchdowns this season, and in coming years, he's asked the Sun-Sentinel to request suggestions for an end zone get-down from Dolphins fans.... but try to stay within the NFL's rules because Brown isn't too flashy a guy, and he certainly doesn't want to cost himself some cash. My plan is to make a page 2 with some of the best suggestions from you (your name will be included) and bring the best of the best to Brown.

So if you have the time to waste, go ahead and leave a comment on Omar's blog with your idea. Or leave a few here. I personally think it would be cool if after every TD, Ronnie would pull down his pants and swing his penis around in a circle while making helicopter noises. He could call it "The Helicockter." That would be awesome. Although he might take out an eye or two, or possibly knock out a few teammates, it would still be totally worth it.

-The DUDE

Breaking it Down, C***puncher Style

Leave it to Omar Kelly and his awesome awesomeness to write an interesting column on the Monday after the bye week. Suck on that, people who can't stop writing about the Wild Cat offense!!! Omar breaks down the Fins' waiver-wire pickups since training camp started. The two players that I found the most intriguing:

WR Brandon London ... London is still learning the offense and it'll be interesting to see what impact he makes when he's earned playing time. Will he be able to work his way up the depth chart as Miami's thinnest position? I've noticed London has some speed to him, but will his thin frame allow him to produce those dangerous catches between the hash marks?

and

OT Kirk Barton ... a team-captain at a college powerhouse (Ohio State), a four-year starter who is very well built (6-foot-4, 303 pounds) and has good core strength (34 reps of 225 at the combine). That's why the Dolphins snatched the 2008 seventh-round pick up when the Bears tried to stash him on the practice squad. Barton is presently working as a right tackle and must work on moving more fluidly. He could potentially serve as Vernon Carey's replacement if management decides to let Carey walk as a free agent this offseason.

Man, gotta love that the Cockpuncher is on our side. It's hard to believe that just a season ago our team was being run by a bunch of morons who signed a brain-damaged quarterback to be the starter and drafted a one-legged kick returner with the 9th overall pick. And now, we're getting excited about waiver-wire acclimations and practice squad players!

I also find it hard to believe that the small amount of water I take from the water cooler can produce such a large bubble. It's insane!

-The DUDE

Breaking it Down, C***puncher Style

Leave it to Omar Kelly and his awesome awesomeness to write an interesting column on the Monday after the bye week. Suck on that, people who can't stop writing about the Wild Cat offense!!! Omar breaks down the Fins' waiver-wire pickups since training camp started. The two players that I found the most intriguing:

WR Brandon London ... London is still learning the offense and it'll be interesting to see what impact he makes when he's earned playing time. Will he be able to work his way up the depth chart as Miami's thinnest position? I've noticed London has some speed to him, but will his thin frame allow him to produce those dangerous catches between the hash marks?

and

OT Kirk Barton ... a team-captain at a college powerhouse (Ohio State), a four-year starter who is very well built (6-foot-4, 303 pounds) and has good core strength (34 reps of 225 at the combine). That's why the Dolphins snatched the 2008 seventh-round pick up when the Bears tried to stash him on the practice squad. Barton is presently working as a right tackle and must work on moving more fluidly. He could potentially serve as Vernon Carey's replacement if management decides to let Carey walk as a free agent this offseason.

Man, gotta love that the Cockpuncher is on our side. It's hard to believe that just a season ago our team was being run by a bunch of morons who signed a brain-damaged quarterback to be the starter and drafted a one-legged kick returner with the 9th overall pick. And now, we're getting excited about waiver-wire acclimations and practice squad players!

I also find it hard to believe that the small amount of water I take from the water cooler can produce such a large bubble. It's insane!

-The DUDE

Heaven Just Got a Little Cooler

RIP Paul Newman

"The specialty of the house and it's still movin'."

-
-The DUDE

Heaven Just Got a Little Cooler

RIP Paul Newman

"The specialty of the house and it's still movin'."

-
-The DUDE

Weekender: Okay, So... Now What?

Holy sugartits it's been a fun week. I think all the unrepentant hostility we've seen here today is just the stuff DRK and I had built up prior to the Pats game, in preparation for another week of having to talk about the Dolphins shitting all over themselves, and having to endure two whole weeks of dread -- arguing if Chad Henne should start, or how one would go about shiving Joey Porter without getting caught.

But Ronnie Brown and his balls of steel would have none of it! And the Fins won. And suddenly, that anticipatory anger had nowhere to go. So we directed it towards poor ole Ernest Wilford and some TV network half of America doesn't even have anyway.

Our team won! Against the Patriots! Pulled off what will probably be the biggest upset of the season! Ronnie Brown scored, again, and again, and again. And then, just to be sure karma wouldn't bite us in the ass with an aren't-they-just-so-amazing- Patriots-impossible come-from-behind-win, he scored again. Like unloading an entire machine gun clip on a corpse. Very loud, and completely useless, but awesome nonetheless. God it's great to feel so alive!

So, now that the week has wound down, and we're all just coming out of our so-happy-I-could-shit-on-a-kitten, hangover induced malaise, and the hookers have all been paid and sent home... we need to ask, "what now?"

Weekender: Okay, So... Now What?

Holy sugartits it's been a fun week. I think all the unrepentant hostility we've seen here today is just the stuff DRK and I had built up prior to the Pats game, in preparation for another week of having to talk about the Dolphins shitting all over themselves, and having to endure two whole weeks of dread -- arguing if Chad Henne should start, or how one would go about shiving Joey Porter without getting caught.

But Ronnie Brown and his balls of steel would have none of it! And the Fins won. And suddenly, that anticipatory anger had nowhere to go. So we directed it towards poor ole Ernest Wilford and some TV network half of America doesn't even have anyway.

Our team won! Against the Patriots! Pulled off what will probably be the biggest upset of the season! Ronnie Brown scored, again, and again, and again. And then, just to be sure karma wouldn't bite us in the ass with an aren't-they-just-so-amazing- Patriots-impossible come-from-behind-win, he scored again. Like unloading an entire machine gun clip on a corpse. Very loud, and completely useless, but awesome nonetheless. God it's great to feel so alive!

So, now that the week has wound down, and we're all just coming out of our so-happy-I-could-shit-on-a-kitten, hangover induced malaise, and the hookers have all been paid and sent home... we need to ask, "what now?"

Ronnie Has Won the FedEx Ground Player of the Week, Safe Kids USA Gets a Big Check, Ronnie's Balls of Steel Get Bronzed*

Nice job, Nation. With your help, Ronnie Brown was voted the FedEx Ground Player of the Week. Suck on that, Michael Turner and Fred Taylor!

The actual e-mail I received from Rebecca informing me of the news, moments ago:

Hey,

I was hoping you can help us get the word out that Ronnie Brown has WON FedEx NFL Ground Player of the Week and that as a result Miami�s chapter of Safe Kids USA will receive a $1,000 donation in his name. Your post was such a big help last time we were hoping you can make sure that Brown gets the recognition he deserves.

Also, really who does spell Rebecca with an H?

Rebecca Zalman

Holy crap, this e-mail made my day. Seriously. I've never met Rebecca Zalman personally, but I can pretty much guarantee you that she's 100% pure grade-A awesomeness.

Oh, and congrats to Black Thunder and to the Miami chapter of Safe Kids USA! Boo-ya.

-The DUDE

*= can't really confirm that his balls will be bronzed, but they should at least be dipped in a gold composite of some kind or something. 

Ronnie Has Won the FedEx Ground Player of the Week, Safe Kids USA Gets a Big Check, Ronnie's Balls of Steel Get Bronzed*

Nice job, Nation. With your help, Ronnie Brown was voted the FedEx Ground Player of the Week. Suck on that, Michael Turner and Fred Taylor!

The actual e-mail I received from Rebecca informing me of the news, moments ago:

Hey,

I was hoping you can help us get the word out that Ronnie Brown has WON FedEx NFL Ground Player of the Week and that as a result Miami’s chapter of Safe Kids USA will receive a $1,000 donation in his name. Your post was such a big help last time we were hoping you can make sure that Brown gets the recognition he deserves.

Also, really who does spell Rebecca with an H?

Rebecca Zalman

Holy crap, this e-mail made my day. Seriously. I've never met Rebecca Zalman personally, but I can pretty much guarantee you that she's 100% pure grade-A awesomeness.

Oh, and congrats to Black Thunder and to the Miami chapter of Safe Kids USA! Boo-ya.

-The DUDE

*= can't really confirm that his balls will be bronzed, but they should at least be dipped in a gold composite of some kind or something.