Everytime it rains, it rains turds from heaven....

Shit in Hitler's mouth it's been a fucked up 48 hours or whatever the fuck! It seems like all the injury-free, drama-free, angst-free last few months we've enjoyed as Dolphins fans has come crashing down on us in a matter of a few hours.

Let's recap:

-The Dolphins defense can't stop the Patriots spread-formation-8-yard-pass-and-a-cloud-of-dust offense and pretty much lose a shot at the playoffs.

-The Dolphins lose their most consistent play-maker on offense to a knee injury that will require about 9 months to heal (excuse me a second..... :ahem: .... FFFFFFUCK!!!)

- Everything unravels resulting in Channing Crowder losing his cool and getting ejected, and Joey Porter getting called for unsportsmanlike conduct like 12 times in a row or some shit.

-Meanwhile, Porter refuses to leave the game when Sparano tells him to come out, everybody is asking what the coach should do with Porter; some say suspend him, others fine him, others say something has to be done goddamit!; Dolphins fans are lining up in Davie with their torches and pitchforks, meanwhile nobody knows who's going to replace Camarillo, it should be Wilford, it should be London, somebody should re-sign Hagan, can we get Orande Gadsen back in here??!! The clock is ticking, there's a bomb on that bus, that bulidng is on fire, someone please catch my baby!, police arrested a man for uriniating on a hobo, lock your doors, gunshots were fired at a local Arby's, Hillary Clinton is going to be Secretary of State, no wait! she won't, what?, who's gonna win Dancing With the Stars??!!, Gas prices are finally down but now I have no money!, Did Lee Harvey Oswald act alone!?, Is the small of a woman's back the sexiest place in the Universe!? You're Goddamn right it is! No it isn't! Yes, it IS!!!!..... ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Wait.

Tony's on top of the Porter situation. Whatever he does will be what he does. This isn't willowy Cam Cameron. This is clamp-yer-balls-with-the-heal-of-my-shoe Tony Sparano. No matter what he does or doesn't do to Porter, there's is no chance in hell he loses the respect of any of his players. None. As for Camarillo, it sucks. But somebody's gonna have to step up. My guess is it will be Brandon London. Devone Bess had a strong performance Sunday. And Ted Ginn remains a deep threat even though he still runs routes like he's running from a bee. This shit happens in football. No team has been immune from drama. The good ones right the ship and move on.

Word to your mother.