FUCK. YEA. It's ON you New England faggots.
This is the week we finally take what's ours and keep it. Whoddathunkit?!! No one in their right mind - not even The Cockpuncher himself - thought we would be playing relevant football this late in November. I swear to God I want to punch a New England fan in the face, have someone toss me a football just as I'm running full speed towards a New England fan so I can catch it and bowl him over like Ronnie up there or any number of other punishable-by-law acts against New England players, coaches management and fans. I nearly got laid off this week and all I could think about was how it would affect my mindframe for this important game. Even if I ran 5 miles, worked out on free weights for 3 hours, played racquetball for another 6, drank 3 tequila bottles, did 3 8-balls of coke and fucked all the Victoria's Secret models sequentially (but with great love and concern for each) it would not quench the raging intensity that I have inside of me for this Sunday's game. I'm like Roth after a Diet Coke.
Let me calm down for a second and discuss the keys:
- A steady, hard diet of Ronnie FUCKIN' Brown down your stupid, Masshole gullets. Feed that boy because he is hungry. He will eat your ugly face, Bruschi. He will throw out the dead parts of your dying brain and hand it to your crying children.
- Joey Porter kicking, clawing, biting and setting his pitbulls loose on the entire New England offense naked in the showers. That's what it's going to feel like on Sunday. Your scared little dicks retreating into your frightened bodies, New England. Fuck you.
- I wanna see Sparano fired up and doing that punch-in-the-air thing he does when he's all jacked up. 4th and 20 from our own 13 yard line? Fuck you. We're going for it.
- A lively crowd that descends upon any New England shitheads and beats them. Fights on the field. Fights in the stands. New England children being 're-educated'. Drunken debauchery. Fat guys fucking the hot cheerleaders (just not Brittany as she is mine). I want several arrests made during and after the game.
- Chad Pennington coming out firing from the get-go. Put these motherfuckers on their heels. Start the game off Seattle-style with a bomb to Teddy to get that crowd insane like Sparano after a particularly spirited hate-fuck. A smart, relentless passing game.
- Some gadgetry to start off: weird formations, Teddy throwing to Chad for a touchdown, Sparano shitting in Homeless Genius' sweater before gametime.
- Bill Parcells throwing up on Belichick's head and then cockpunching him as hard as he ever has to show Belichick who packed his fucking lunch for him.
- A total and complete breakdown on all 3 phases (as well as coaching) by New England to the point of embarassment and bedlam.
Point is we need to hit 'em hard, in the mouth and often early in this game to get things going. Ricky, Ronnie and our Defense will take us home from there.
Prediction: Miami 72 - New England 0. Fuck 'em.