Lucky you. You're getting a steady dose of DRK today as the Dude sits back, takes off his pants and turns the room fan on 'high', aiming directly at his scrotal region. I don't know 'bout you but I take comfort in that.
Beginning with this pathetic and injury-maligned Seahawks team (seriously, they could use Cameron Worrell at safety right about now), we have a real opportunity to win 3 in a row during this rare 3-game homestand. That would put us at 7-4 and a feeling akin to grabbing a barstool, steadying yourself atop it, pulling your pants down and sticking your chubber in the freezer. Smiles everyone! Smiles!
But, as we've been preaching for some time now, that ain't happenin' unless we can beat the good teams we're supposed to beat. There's no question we're better than the Seahawks and Oakland, but the real test will come against New England at home. That's still a strong team despite their current QB deficiencies and we haven't swept those motherfuckers since 2000. Beating them down in a year when they deserved a good beating would be fackin' sweet!
So I'm not gonna even bother with this Seahawks "team" since there's really nothing to talk about. They're banged up all over the place and they're annoying to watch. So let's focus on what we have to do to continue the light-speed progress we've made in the past 8 games:
- Special Teams. Guhhhhhhhhh. Seems like everyone has an above average return specialist these days and we absolutely fucking suck with those. I hate worrying about kickoffs and punts; that's just stupid. So here's to our special teams learning how to avoid the kickoff coverage wall and Dan Carpenter not jerking off again until after Sunday's game. He needs every one of those little soldiers to get it into the endzone.
- A return to form for Chad. We need the AFC Player of the Week guy back.
- More Ricky and Ronnie. This is a good team to get ahead early and let those two find the rhythm we've lost since the Texans game.
- Figure out what the fuck is going on at the RG position because that's been a mess since Donald Thomas went down. We all knew it would be because we're so thin all along the line but it's unnerving that we haven't even found a decent solution.
- Can Vernon Carey stay on his feet? Does he prefer to swish his butt all around in the dirt? MAN UP, Vernon. You're getting noticed and that ain't good.
- The rise of Theodore Ginn, Jr. I feel a really big game coming on for him and this might be the week.
- Keep doing what you're doing, Jason Allen, and you just might shed that 'Busteroo' label after all.
Prediction: Dolphins 31 - Seahawks 10
Would be our first winning mark since 2005. Oh, brother.
Your random thoughts/perversions/situations/quotations/dimestores/bus stations in the comments.