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People think I'm one of the best offensive line coaches in the NFL. They marvel at my tenacity, technique and the way I get through to my players. One of the best ways to get through to an offensive lineman? Glue a Hershey's Kiss to the bottom of their underwear so, when they put it on, it goes right into his you-know-whats-it. Sweetens up the butt and makes them play a heckuvalot better.
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Why does Marty McFly get so annoyed at being called 'chicken' in the last two Back To The Future's but it's not even an issue in the first one? Where's the consistency? Guy hears someone calling him 'chicken' and he explodes like you're denying the Holocaust ever happened or something. Never understood that one and it sometimes keeps me up at night while I'm trying to get my daily 2 hours of sleep.
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I often like to go dressed like some kind of incognito Inspector Gadget to Tootsie's near Dolphin Stadium once a week if my eyes get too tired from rewinding tape. There's a girl there that tar and feathers herself and lets me choke her for about a minute and 27 seconds. I go right back to watching tape after that.
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Sometimes I think back to 1990 or so and contemplate the strange social consciousness evident in the popular music of that time. You think about your Jesus Jones', your EMF's, your Arrested Development's - those bands were trying to say something. Whatever the fuck it is they were trying to say was a little lost on me at the time because that was my dark ketamine period.
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-Dat Roro Kid
