Looks like it's the return of Opera Man this week. Yup, JP Losman is likely to start over Trent Edwards after somebody punted him in the gonads last week. Not sure how to take this news. While Losman is not very good, he's one of those quarterbacks that decides to play like Johnny Unitas whenever he plays the Dolphins (7 TDs, 2 INTs vs. the Fins). Losman loves to throw it to Lee Evans. And Evans is one of those receivers who has gobs of talent that never seems to materialize unless he's playing against the Dolphins. In our last meeting, Evans caught 7 passes for 116 yards. Look for Buffalo to try and match him up with the incomparable Joey Thomas as much as possible (my balls just ascended at the thought of Thomas trying to cover Evans). Bottom line, we can't assume this game is a win just because a backup QB is at the helm or just because we're in a non-shrinkage controlled environment in the Rogers Centre, or because the Bills are on a downward spiral or because they're dealing with injuries. Because, sometimes, nothing cures your ills like playing against the Miami Dolphins (still, it's good to be playing this game indoors. We're 4-10 against the Bills at their place since 1994, and 2-7 all-time after December 1st). So I'm saying this game -- and pretty much every game til the end of the season -- is going to come down to getting in the face of the opposing quarterback. This is the time of year you need to stuff the run and put QBs on their ass. And that sounds like a job for Joey Porter. Time for the play to match the talk.
We all know that nobody talks a line of shit like Peezy. He rarely fails to tell an opponent how badly he's going to kick their ass, or what a big mistake said opponent has made showing up for the game today, or how bad of a beat-down he's about to deliver, or brag about the various acts of violence he can inflict with just his cock alone. Plus, he's got a natural flair for being a total dick. Last time we faced Buffalo, Porter and his mouth were a huge part of the victory, recording 4 tackles, 2 sacks, forcing a fumble and taking a chunk of Marshawn Lynch's ass cheek. But it was the last time Peezy had more than 2 tackles and more than 2 sacks in a game. That needs to stop. Right now. Porter's fallen off the Defensive Player of the Year talk and needs to get his bullet-riddled ass back in gear.
As for the offense, it's going to be interesting to see how the offensive line adjusts after losing Justin Smiley (fuck-fuck-fuckitty-fuck!!!!) for the season. Protecting Chad will be key. He needs time to get the ball to Ted Ginn. And Ted Ginn needs to do his part and, you know, catch the ball. He did have 7 receptions for 175 yards last time, so we remain hopeful. But more than that, running the ball will remain priority one. I love Ricky Williams. I love what he brings to the game. But if I see him getting the majority of the carries or starting in the backfield alone during every key series, I'm going to eat my McFarlane Ricky Williams dreadlocked figure, shit into a box, and FedEx it to Dan Henning. For fucksake, people. It's December. It's time to rear back and feed the shit out of Ronnie Brown. I know running lanes have been hard to come by for him. I know that. But he's a workhorse back. And workhorse backs get better the more they see the ball during the course of an entire game. It's just science. Ronnie needs to see the ball 20-plus times while Ricky needs to come in to change the pace when the D is gassed after being Thunderstruck all day. We just need to give Ronnie the rock and let him cockslap his way through the Bills defense to the amazement of all the Canucks in attendance. "Ah! Mon amie! Avez-vous vu comment ce gars-queue juste un coup de poing ces joueurs? Vive le Noir Tonnerre!"
And that's real.
Prediction: Dolphins 20 Bills 14
