And it's official.
The sale of your beloved Miami Dolphins to NY real estate mogul Stepehn Ross has officially gone through. Mr. Ross takes over 95% ownership of the franchise and ole' Wayne retains a meager 5% (equivalent to 5 cajillion dollars of revenue annually, I'm sure). Get used to looking at that Dumbo-looking billionaire from here on out as he'll be the guy either hoisting the Lombardi Trophy over his head come a February in the near future or will be the guy whose big, floppy ears make for excellent target practice in tossing turd fastballs. We've already made several appeals here at FN via our posts and your comments to not fuck this up, Mr. Ross. Le Cockpuncher's rare sighting at the Senior Bowl this week either means A) I'm here to scout talent which I hardly ever do in person so I'm likely keeping an eye on the talent myself to report to my future employer after I walk away with your money and sign a lucrative deal somewhere else or B) I'm so fuckin' dedicated to winning this motherfucker outright next year that I actually dragged myself away from the Doral golf course, eating donuts and throwing cocaine at prostitute pussy that I'm here this year. So, Mr. Ross, you might want to think about opening up that wallet juuuuust a bit more to keep the big guy here. One last thing Mr. Ross, I can guarantee you that a happy fanbase doesn't give two shits if Enrique Iglesias, Anna Kournikova, Dwyane Wade and Bon Jovi are in attendance at games as long as we're winning. Seriously. However, we might show up if all three of them are gang-banging Ms. Kournikova mercilessly, voraciously and vehemently on the 50-yard line but that really doesn't have anything to do with winning, does it? But I digress...
I haven't brushed up on my 'limited partnerships' knowledge in a while so I'm curious to what extent future minority partners may have some under-the-table managerial pull consistent with their percentage of ownership. I know as per rules of a limited partnership, limited partners have no say but who the fuck knows anymore in this crazy, crazy world. As Ross doesn't have all "the fuckin' money, Lebowski", we might want to keep an eye on who exactly steps up to the plate to piss in the proverbial pot. Patooey!
