Fins Need a Receiver Who Can Catch and Then Not Run Like He's Being Chased by Bees

The Herald's Barry Jackson runs down the free agency pool. And, unless you want to overpay or go all Rick Spielman on the wide receiver position and sign or trade for an aging shitty receiver, it looks like we're going to have to find our big-play receiver in the draft. Jackson thinks Tampa will franchise Antonio Bryant. Meanwhile, TJ Houshmandzadeh is another option. I wouldn't mind TJ at all. Just depends on what his asking price will be -- if he's not franchised tagged. Otherwise, we'll have our pick of guys like Amani Toomer, Devery Henderson, or Nate Washington.

The draft it is!

It was reported yesterday that Gators top receiver, Percy Harvin, will be foregoing his senior season in the Ass of Florida at Gainesville and enter the NFL Draft. I know there are a lot of you out there that are Gator fans or whatever the fuck and are hoping the Fins take Harvin at 25. But fuck you and your fan-boy colored glasses with a cement truck filled with broken shards of glass because that would be dumb. He's fast, yes. But he's small (5-10, 195), injury prone and is often compared to Reggie Bush. Outside of banging some chick with a gigantic ass, what has Reggie Bush ever done? The guy has the bone density of an 86 year old woman. No thanks. Besides, Harvin is a luxury pick. A guy you draft when you already have all the pieces together.

For my money, it's all about Michael Crabtree. But he'll be gone way before our draft slot rolls our way. We'd have to trade up to take him and that would mean giving up a craptload of picks and and we just can't be doing that. But shit in a dewy meadow and wipe your ass with a bunny, it would be sweet to land him.

What would be ideal is if the Fins can, at the very least, trade up and grab Missouri's Jeremy Maclin. That would be the tetas. Otherwise, wait to take a receiver with one of our second picks -- perhaps Maryland's Darrius Heyward-Bey if he's still on the board, or Rutgers' Kenny Brit -- and save the first rounder for a defensive speed rusher like LSU's Tyson Jackson, or a dominant defensive tackle like BC's B.J. Raji (heh, BJ) or a play-making linebacker like USC's Brian Cushing. Either way, somewhere, sometime, somehow this off-season, the Fins need to address the receiver position. Otherwise, it's another season sitting on the edge of our seats waiting for Vagina Hands to come around. Or, if the Dolphins let me run shit, offer Arizona one of our second rounders with another conditional pick for Anquan Boldin. How fucked in the face would that be? Pretty good fucked in the face, I think.