As many of you noted in the comments, there are reports flying around that offensive line coach Mike Maser has been cockpunched in the worst possible way. Damn. These motherfuckers DON'T PLAY. We were 11th-ranked in the run and had the 12th-best offense. Shit, we were the 10th-least sacked team!!! With the coaching carousel in full effect, no doubt they were looking to upgrade like Idiocracy.
Good to see our boys aren't satisfied with just being 'good'. We're hell-bent on being THE BEST.
Sorry, Mike. Ya been COCKPUNCHED!!!**
/ whipping sound effect
**(if those reports are actually, you know, true and stuff)
Update: cockpunch confirmed