The Steelers won Super Bowl XLIII last night but because it's not the Dolphins, I don't give a shit so they can just go fuck themselves. I have no connection with the Steelers other than this column I wrote for Pittsburgh sports site Mondesi's House last season. It's significant to me because, in it, I made some douchebaggy barb about Pittsburgians wearing sweatpants and drinking generic vodka they buy at Rite Aid. This is significant because my comedic idol, Louis CK, recently released a new concert DVD where one of the bits is called Sweatpants & Vodka where he makes mention of sad people buying sweatpants and generic vodka at a Wal-Greens. I know it's only February, but my year has already been made. Because my dickjokery has officially mind melded with Louis CK's. Life Goal #1, check! I'm a man of lofty goals. Next up, Megan Fox sitting on my face, meeting Gary Coleman and taking a girl who's not my Mom out on a date. Suck on that, Sir Edmund Hillary!
