"If I have one disappointment, the disappointment would be that we did not bring a championship home," Huizenga said Tuesday. "It's something we failed to do. It's tough out there with the competitive balance in this league, which is what's great about the league. Every team has the same payroll, and that is what has made the league so strong."
''I know I'll have regrets and I know I will miss it,'' Huizenga said, discussing his decision to sell the team. 'But I felt after 19 years -- you know there's an old song out there, `You gotta know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.' ''
Did he just quote Kenny Rogers? Why, yes. Yes he did. And you know what? He's basically the living embodiment of the Monopoly guy, so he's allowed to quote pretty much any song he wants, no matter how shitty. The man just made a cool billion-plus when he sold the Fins to Stephen Ross a few weeks ago -- nearly seven times what he paid when he bought the team in 1994. Dude's got serious coin. Serious coin.
In a related story, one time I was standing in line for the Dr. Doom ride at Universal Studios and this lady in front of me bent over to tend to her screaming bratty kid, and I placed a coin in her ass crack. True story.