This week's Weekender girl is Adriana Lima. I had mentioned her earlier this week here. And wouldn't you know it, she's in the news today. Well, her cockbag husband is. He was accused of sexual assault. Why would a gorgeous titted, possesor of a perfectly rounded ass woman like Adriana marry a middling NBA player who isn't satisfied loving her every day of her life and has to force himself on some other woman? Because God hates me, that's why.
The charges were apparently dropped. But I'm not convinced. It's time to slip into my super hero costume and investigate this further as the Masked Dude (it's a costume essentially made up of an old shirt with holes over my eyes, sweatpants, a towel for a cape and dish washing gloves. I'm a badass). Me and my trusty sidekick will get to the bottom of this! Are you ready, chum? Good. Let's do this! Hi-ho-penis! Away!!!!
Thanks for your patience today, Nation. The comments have been fixed as has been the ability for all to log in. Have a great weekend!