This Friday Link Dump brought to you by Petra's gorgeous ass, which I would gladly eat all my meals off of. Because edible plates are good for the envinroment! Ba-Zoinks!!-- The NFL will release the 2009 season schedule on Tuesday. Remarkably, Tuesday is also the day I receive my weekly e-mail newsletter from Willard Scott. Frankly I think I'm more excited about hearing about Earl Dickey from Saskatchewan, PA turning 113 years old than I am about seeing what time we play the Panthers. Priorities, man.
-- Most Mock drafts have the Dolphins taking a corner with the first pick. Most mock drafts are usually 100% wrong. So fuck them. Still, can't blame them for being the seers of the football world. Speaking of, I have a friend who thinks Seersuckers are people who blow psychics. True story.
-- If the Fins do address corner and pass rush before they do receiver, there still might be some good ones left in the later rounds. I've often wondered what makes a person decide to put themselves through six years of medical school so they could become a proctologist. Imagine. Loving asses to the point of making your whole life about pulling stuff out of random peoples'. Amazing.
-- Speaking of mock drafts, Draft Countdown has the Dolphins taking Clay Matthews, which would be the tits. But John McClain of the Houston Chronicle says the Texans will be taking Matthews with the 15th pick. I bring this up only because I wanted to bring to your attention that the Houston Chronicle has a dude named John McClain as a columnist. They get the fucking Die Hard guy and we're stuck with this cockbag. Yippie-Kay-Yay Motherfucker!
