On draft day, most teams select their players according to their 40 times and bench press numbers. Me? I select my players according to the size of their girlfriend's or wive's tits.
...secrets.....
Nothing spices things up in the bedroom like a well executed dutch oven.
....secrets...
I once composed a country blues song called "I Shoulda Fucked Whats-Her-Name."
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I once met the man who coined the phrase "not too shabby" at a cocktail party my wife's friend threw. I shanked him with a knife I carved from a human shinbone that I keep duct taped in the crack of my ass.
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Sometimes I look out the airplane window at a large city at night and wonder how many people are fucking.
secrets..
I think a good name for a folk band would be Pussy Fart.
...secrets.....
-The Dude
