It's official. Jimmy Buffett is now partners with your Miami Dolphins. And the stadium formerly known as Joe Robbie and Pro Player is now named after his beer, Landshark.I'm a little leery about Stephen Ross' whole Miami-fication of a stadium in Miami. I like my football stadiums to be a little more Thunderdome and a little less giant swimming pool with cabana boys serving cocktails. But there's something about having the guy who wrote "Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw" as part of the Dolphins organization that sits kind of well with me. A little bit, anyway.
Either way, the main thing here is Ross and Buffett and whomever else throws their hat into the ownership ring need to understand that Bill Parcells is the whole reason this shit is moving in the right direction. Got that, Ross? It's not the name of the stadium, or your shitty C-list celebrities showing up to games, or your art deco bullshit designs, or your breezy calypso Carnival Cruise pre-game festivities. It's the Cockpuncher. Keep him happy. Keep him here. Make sure he doesn't bolt. And if he does, makes sure Jeff Ireland and his scouts stick around.
Also, keep that shitstain Carl Peterson the fuck away from anything remotely related to the Miami Dolphins. I mean it. If that dickbag is watching Flipper on Nick at Night at 2:30 in the morning, someone needs to be notified. And then that someone needs to show up at Peterson's home and beat him with a sock full of pennies until he chokes on his own bile. Carl Peterson needs to be treated like he's got fucking Swine Flu and leprosy and that old-baby disease that Brad Pitt has in that long-ass movie all rolled into one. Do all that, and you can name the stadium The Dude Sucks Cock And Loves It Stadium for all I care.
