He's back, you AFC East foe faggots. He is fucking back.
You see that #99 over there lined up opposite J-Peezy and ready to tear your stupid fucking head off? Yea, you know that guy. You know him well. He fucked you up for YEARS and he's fucking back, you shitbags. Tom Brady, did you suddenly feel a weird setback from your ACL/MCL recovery while you were walking around Rodeo Drive this morning with your goddamn purse and lipstick?? Do you need another tampon for your soon-to-be bloody asshole?? Cool. JT's gonna give that to ya. Wait. Is that Trent Edwards I see knocking his head against the walls of his living room over and over again in the hopes that he can become permanently concussed? Yea, likely is because why the fuck suffer at the hands of #99? A goddamn lobotomy is a vacation in Aruba compared to what JT is gonna do to you this season. Oh shit!! That's Dirty Sanchez shitting his pants because in the 16 fucking games that he's started in his college career he NEVER came across the physical freak badass that is Jason FUCKING Taylor.
So a hearty 'fuck you' to Fireman Ed, Bill Belichick, any of the 16 left tackles that JT will face this season and any other motherfucker that thinks he won't be getting a face-full of that cool circle/punch thing that JT does after a tackle for a loss.
Because he's back and, unless you're wearing white/aqua/coral on game day, you are truly and pathetically fucked, sir.
Oh! And one last thing. Pwwease??