Welp. As has been reported for days now, this finally happened. Greeaaat. Only so long before Don Johnson puts on a way-too-tight Italian white suit, flamingoes buttfuck each other in the endzone, the skeletal corpse of Art Teele is used for the coin toss, cocaine cowboys of yesteryear become aisle vendors, 'Calle Ocho Sundays' become a reality, Rey's Pizza is served at the concession stands, the guitar guy from 90s Coconut Grove is the halftime entertainment, a club house dance/freestyle mix version of the fight song blares from the speakers (may be a slight improvement, shockingly), Hermanos Al Rescate do the pre-game flyover (thus dropping hundreds of exiled Cubans into the crowd before you're forced to take them home and show them what a Publix looks like post-game), and the various incarnations of Expose over the years become the team's official cheerleaders.
Choicest quote from the presser?
"I'm very happy and thrilled to be part of this team," Gloria Estefan said. "Don't worry, we'll not be calling any plays. And Emilio will not be playing quarterback."
HA HA HA HA HA HA...WON'T BE PLAYING...HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....YOU GET IT??...HA HA HA HA HA HA
Well, fistfuck me with a hand full of someone else's shit...
Your recommended generic Miami affiliations for Mr. Ross in the comments. Please make me laugh, people.