Dan Marino Finds All This Stephen Ross C-List Celebrity Bullsh-t Just As F-cking Stupid As You Do

"My feelings are it's about football really. It's about the game. There is a football game to be played but ... uh... all this is fun. It's fun ... and it's good for the fans."

Holy fucking fuck I love that man!

I love how Marino doesn't give a fuck. Why? Because he's Dan Fucking Marino. Who the hell's gonna tell him to tow the company line when HE IS THE FUCKING COMPANY!

So fuck you Stephen Ross! You fucking billionaire dick gobbling goblin-looking fuck. And fuck you Gloria Estefan. Would it fucking kill you to open your goddamn shit-eating maw when you fucking talk? And fuck you Marc Anthony, you weird fucking old man-twelve year old boy hybrid. And fuck your jiggly-assed wife and that fucking hump on her nose that disproportionately sits on her overrated shit face.

And fuck you Lisa Petrillo. Can you at least pretend you're not that fucking enamored by these over hyped fucksticks and just report the event without having multiple orgasms on live television? Just because you're a failed actress now forced to do this shit for a living doesn't mean the rest of us don't care about the fucking football game being played.

And for that idiot who swears that all this godawful shit is what totally brought the fans back: No sweetheart. An 11-5 AFC East championship is what brought the fans back.

And one more thing, if you gave Gloria Estefan a helmet to sign, well then fuck you with a clothes hanger dipped in syphilis you dick eating fuckturd.

When no one's looking, I'm going drive down to LandShark and I'm going to take a massive shit on that orange carpet. I am not even remotely kidding about that.