Orange Crush to Smack Stinkin' Jets in the Face

posted by DatRoro Kid

 

As has been widely circulated, our boys will be once again rockin' the orange unis come Monday night's slugfest against those piece of shit, fucktard assholes from New Jersey.  We're 2-0 in these babies - having beaten both Washington in 2003 (aaaah, season ticket year....how I miss thee) and those New England faggots in 2004.  The last time was particularly memorable as the A.J. Feeley-helmed Dolphins capped off the night with a touchdown pass to Derrius 'Invisible Man' Thompson (I believe his lone TD with the Fins) and a JT-led assault up Tom Brady's ass, razor-cleated feet first.  Sadly, that was our Super Bowl that year and I remember running back and forth through my apartment in total ecstacy. 

I remember when these came out I was ULTRAFUCKINGEXCITED to the point that I drove my illegal, no insuranced red Thunderbird all the way to the Davie store and waited outside to buy one on the first day they were available.  Got me a sweet Ricky Williams one that I have since contemplated burning then fucking then burning then making sweet love to about a few times since that day.  Can't say I LOVE these jerseys but I can't complain about them with A) us being 2-0 in them and b) them kinda looking pretty sweet under the lights, truth be told.  I'm more an old-school guy when it comes to the uniforms but I'll definitely be wearing mine on Monday night and it'll be a welcomed change for the fans (especially the kids) to get excited about.  Plus, it kinda just fucking screams of 'Miami' in some way that's difficult for me to put into words.