Well. This is it. The Robot era has arrived.
A lot of us expected this to happen Opening Week of 2010 instead of Week 4 of the 2009 season. But keep in mind that Chad Pennington is made mostly of glass and hay, and that it would've been a miracle had he survived the entire season intact.So, ready or not, the Chad Henne chapter opens.
Chad Henne will officially become the 13th starting quarterback for the Miami Dolphins since Dan Marino retired in 1999. I'm not one to believe in signs or horoscopes unless the news is good and involves some sort of run in with my face and Scarlett Johansson's tits. But I'd like to think that the number 13 carries some kind of kismet to it. But then again, Jesus hates us so who the hell knows.
One thing is for sure, Henne has a lot of important people believing in him. Offensive coordinator Dan Henning sticks to his claim that The Robot will be just as good as Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco. And Jason Taylor believes Henne will be good.
Another difference that seems to be apparent between the two Chads is that Pennington brought a kind of good-guy teacher quality to his leadership while Henne is a straight up asshole in the huddle. And that's all kinds of awesome:
[Dan Henning] said while Pennington was more of a "benevolent despot" in the huddle, the hard-talking Henne will be a "dictator" in the way he manages the offense.
Robots are dicks like that.
The main thing, of course, is what Henne has to work with. Expect Ronnie and Ricky to carry a shitload of the bulk of this offense as Henne gets used to playing four full quarters of real-life games. We all know the situation with the receivers. Devone Bess leads the team in receptions, which isn't a good thing. The redzone offense has gone from a 4 to a 9 on the Holy Fuckbuckets Do We Suck! scale. Ted Ginn has gone from running away from a bee to falling down like a guy who's been lit on fire (on the rare occasion he actually catches a pass). Lots of people automatically think Ginn will magically become a stud now that the big-armed Henne is in charge. But you sprinkle powdered sugar on shit, it's still shit.
Point is, patience. Henne is a robot. But he's still inexperienced. And he carries the weight of an 0-3 team with a shitty receiving corps, a rep for underachieving as a 4-year starter at Michigan, and his not-all-that-impressive showings in the preseason. Not to mention the shadows of Ryan and Flacco hovering over him.
I had my doubts about Henne when we drafted him. I still have some. All the tools are there. Big arm, big pedigree, came from an offensive system in college, liked by Bill Parcells, flashes of brilliance here and there. But the doubts are there. Maybe it's because I'm jaded with all the shit turnover at the QB position since The Right Arm of God retired. This team had me thinking John Beck was our savior for fucksake!
But for now, for the sake of wanting to finally see us have a franchise quarterback for the next 10-15 years, as well as not wanting my organs removed in my sleep and harvested for the coming robotic overlords that Henne will surely call upon, I am a Chad Henne believer.
Go get 'em Robot. Fuck some shit up. Make us believe again. Take us to the Promised Land. Kill all humans!!!
