posted by DatRoro Kid
Our cum-guzzling QB was exposed against those Northern NY has-beens. Our large, fat Hell beast is now out for the rest of this season. And now, our spry jizz-satyr no longer dances and prances throughout the field with his gay harp and belly full of your warm demon seed.
WHY SATAN?!?!?!! WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO FORSAKE ME AND NOT HEED MY DEATH HOWL?!?!?!
What must I do in order to receive yet another in the long line of poor officiating and bullshit penalties that have been called on this formidable opponent? Why, just last week, there were two erroneous calls made by your evil zebra minions that resulted directly in points scored by the team in Copper and Black.
AND YET THIS TEAM GOES BY THE NAME OF ‘THE SAINTS’?!?!?! HOW DARE YOU AID THEM IN VICTORY AND NOT US?!?!?!
My Lord, I promise thee yet more cum-guzzling by all Jets fans. You are laughing because you deem it impossible that we could gulp more – BUT WE CAN. Our hunger for your spawn is insatiable!! You know that we have no pity or pedigree. WE WILL GLADLY DRINK FROM THE STEM OF OUR OWN FATHERS!!! Will this appease thee, Dark One? Or shall I demand that they all buy Ed Hardy T-shirts, old Stussy shorts and Crocs and make this their permanent attire whilst hanging out on the Jersey Shore and date-raping unsuspecting young women? No, no, no!!! I will not be denied. If that will not suffice, then I will present you with the most moronic, fairweather, stupid, consistently-disappointed-yet-unflinchingly-mentally-base fans that will NEVER question your whim. They will weep with delight when asked to suck from your poisonous pistil. They will gladly slurp every last drop of your fiery elixir. THEY ARE SO FUCKING STUPID AND THEIR TEAM IS SO VOMITORIOUSLY LOUSY THAT THE VERY NAME JETS WILL BE SYNONYMOUS WITH SATAN, HITLER, STALIN, JEFFREY DAHMER, AND EVERY SINGLE THING THAT IS DESPICABLE AND DEFINITIVELY UNHUMAN ABOUT THIS UNFORTUNATE PLANET. THEIR STENCH WILL BE INSTANTLY NOTICEABLE ON ANY CITY STREET – WORSE THAN 1,000 HOMELESS MEN THAT HAVE NOT SHOWERED FOR A DECADE. I VOW TO YOU, SATAN, THAT THEY WILL BE A DARK STAIN UPON HUMANITY AND ONLY ONE FORCE CAN EFFECTIVELY DESTROY THEM.
Gasp! I fear we have no chance against this unstoppable force, oh Dark Heathen of the Forever Night…