Yes, we were all shocked — SHOCKED!! — to find out the NFL had decided to bump the December 6 Patriots at Dolphins game in favor of Vikings-Cardinals. Because Cris What-Kind-of Pussy-Ass-Dickweed-Spells-That-Name-Without-An-H? Collinsworth needs to get in on the Favre suckfest before the season is through. Favre’s balls are not only for Jaws and Gruden to verbally slurp on dammit! And we need to see more highlights of Al Michaels calling the old Monday Night game Brett played after his father passed, because you need to understand how amazing that was because when one of your loved ones passes away, you become a blithering sack of shit while Favre becomes the Ubermensch, and you need to be reminded of that as much as humanly fucking possible, you useless pustule. You can also chalk it up to the NFL pretty much already deciding that the Patriots will win this game and win the division, so why even fucking bother. And that makes us all very angry and yada yada yada… but!
We still have to win at fucking Buffalo.
Yes, the Bills have a new head coach, lost pretty much their entire offensive line, and have a starting QB whose sole claim to fame as a quarterback is that he finished his Wonderlic test in record time.
But that doesn’t mean shit. Not to a Dolphins team that loves to play down to shitty opponents (see: Tampa Bay Bucs) and have given up 107 combined 4th quarter points. The Patriots are playing the Saints this Sunday, which could be potentially setting up a 7-4 Pats vs. a 6-5 Dolphins game. And with five games to go after that, anything can happen. Add the fact that we always play the Pats tough at home, well we’ve got things lined up nicely.
So, because this Sunday’s game against Buffalo has “trap-game” written all over it, we need to first handle our shit against the Bills — kick some Buffalo ass, and stay healthy while doing it. Then we can start thinking about how many different ways Jason Taylor will sodomize Tom Brady with his fists of steel.