posted by DatRoroKid
Hey buddy.
So, um, nice game last night. I just thought I should come by and say…like, um…that was pretty rad, man. The way you started off the game with the first tackle. Then you proceeded to get 7 more tackles, 3 hurries and 2 sacks. Wow. Yea, I know. I’m sorry, man!
It’s just how we work, you and I. I get all mad because you disappear for a while, then you get mad because I’m mad, then I take away the gift basket and lay into you and then you go out and have a Pro Bowl performance. I know!!! We’re crazy, us two wild kids. Why can’t we be normal like other couples and read the Sunday paper over brunch?!?! Or go to galleries?!?! Or go on bike rides together??? Why can’t we stop all this madness!?!?! It’s so toxic sometimes. We love each other TOO much!
So, I just wanted to say: I’m sorry, baby, and I’m here to make it up to you the only way I know how (and please don’t sick your dogs, small horses, your boys, hardened NYC gang affiliates w/ access to long aluminum poles that can be easily lodged through my asshole and out my mouth like a slow cooked rotisserie chicken):
Eeeeeeeyyyupp!!! I know baby likes his Cabernet, Zinfadel and Gouda.
