While Rex Ryan was yammering his pork chop inhaling maw about how his team outplayed the Dolphins and still lost, Tony Sparano was telling his guys that they’re a bunch of tough sons of bitches. While Bart Scott was making an ass of himself in an attempt to prove that he’s not just a mediocre linebacker but a shitty trash talking one as well, Sparano was telling his men they won because they grind it out. He then awarded the game ball to Ted Ginn Jr. for stepping up and redeeming himself after taking a lot of shit from a lot of people. You can see the video here. You’ll also notice owner Stephen Ross is there (right side of the screen) wearing his creepy flasher’s trench coat and patting Teddy on the back when he gets the game ball. The Goblin is everywhere. The video ends with a half-assed “We Ride” chant. But it’s all good. Because while it’s still only a regular season game, we swept the Jets, and gave them the full on kama sutra in both victories — offense, defense, special teams. If there were another way we could fuck the Jets, it’s yet to be invented. Life is beautiful.
By the way, you can find my Miami New Times game re-cap here. (In case you missed it, I came within one point in my final-score prediction here, clearly proving that I rule). So come on by and leave a comment. Let Victory Monday spill out of FN into Miami New Times and all over the streets of America.
Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m off to the kitchen to microwave myself some instant cock-o-soup, courtesy of Ted Ginn’s badass self. Mmmm…. cock soup….