posted by DatRoroKid
….stop mentioning statistics that totally jiinx the ever-living shit out of our players.
Last week Carpenter was trying to break Olindo Mare’s team record of 18 field goals made in a row when this stat flashed across the bottom of the screen. This made me wince with anxiety because I fucking knew that just because they showed that he was going to miss that kick and that pussyface Mare was going to hold on to the record. What happened? He missed the kick.
Same game Henne nearly break’s Captain Balls’ record of 18 completed passes in a row (though that was over the course of two games) when along comes that stupid fucking stat box and flashes that Henne is one completion shy of tying Pennington’s record. Wanna take a gander at what happens next? Henne sailed a pass way over Lousaka Polite’s head with one of his trademark ’screen passes’.
So do me a favor, you dicknose statisticians: STOP HARPING ON THIS SHIT. You’re totally jinxing us, you shitbags! So I don’t want to hear about Ricky’s goddamn useless record when his knee and our season are at stake. Just shut the fuck up please.