Channing Crowder Will Be Ready To Jump Into A Pile Two Seconds After a Play Is Over In About a Month

 

Channing Crowder says he expects to be off his crutches and ready to play in about a month. His goal is to be at full strength to be cleared for the team's offseason conditioning program in March. He also says his injury is not as severe as originally thought:

"Everyone was coming to me with the sad face [after the injury]. My mom's sad. My girl's sad. Let's get this [injury] out the way, get back healthy and play through the season." 

Wow. Everyone was sad. I have a sad story of my own to tell: One day while walking to my local Taco Bell for one of them cheesy double beef burritos, a baby bird fell out of a tree right in front of me. I gingerly picked it up and rushed it back home to try and nurse it back to health, but the little guy died right in my hands. Poor little fella never even stood a chance. Days after that I would see its mother flying around the tree chirping, frantically searching for its baby. And you want to know the worst part of this story? I never fucking got my cheesy double beef burrito! What the mother fuck, man! The whole Universe is against me!